*Trigger and content warning. Please take this seriously!*

*This book contains many graphic examples of foul, offensive, obscene language, child abuse, sexual abuse, brutality, violence, suffering, homophobia, and racism. This book contains mature and adult content. Therefore, it should not be heard by children or minors.*

John grew up in an incredibly narcissistic, dysfunctional family on a farm in southeastern North Carolina during the repressive 1960s. This was the model family to the broader community. His parents were considered pillars of society. Yet, this family held many deep, dark secrets governed by family honor, vanity, and pride. The parents' standing in the community was paramount to everything else. No one–no family member, circumstance, event, or situation–was to shame and embarrass them and get in the way of how they ranked and viewed themselves.

This way of life was ripe for something more insidious. In a calculated and controlled manner, John was sexually abused and groomed to become a sex worker for a satanic cult by his sadistic brother. The sexual abuse began when John was six, and lasted 11 years. The ever-escalating forms of child and sexual abuse seemed to know no limits. During his abuse and afterward, John was controlled, silenced, coerced, and threatened with further violence and death by his abusers.

Often leaning on words of wisdom from his grandfather, John held it together and vowed as a teenager to move away and better himself. This book is about his journey. A lifelong journey to escape from boyhood sexual abuse, his struggles to overcome severe PTSD, his determination to survive, and his steel will to succeed and make something out of himself.

This fiction, based on Kurt B. Ellis's life, follows a boy from his terrible childhood and contains his memories, flashbacks, triggers, and struggles to overcome abuse and trauma.

This inspiring LGBTQIA+ coming-of-age story is about hope, courage, and the resilience of the human spirit.