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Boundaries, Updated and Expanded Edition

When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
Narrated by: Henry O. Arnold
Length: 11 hrs and 18 mins
4 out of 5 stars (109 ratings)

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Summary

Boundaries is the book that's helped more than four million people learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of their lives.

Does your life feel like it's out of control? Perhaps you feel like you have to say yes to everyone's requests. Maybe you find yourself readily taking responsibility for others' feelings and problems. Or perhaps you focus so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits and limitations. Or maybe it's all of the above.

In the New York Times best seller, Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of your life and set healthy, biblical boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even yourself.

Now updated and expanded for the digital age, this book continues to help millions of people around the world answer these tough questions:

  • Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
  • What are legitimate boundaries?
  • How do I effectively manage my digital life so that it doesn't control me?
  • What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
  • How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
  • Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
  • How do boundaries relate to mutual submission within marriage?
  • Aren’t boundaries selfish?

You don’t have to let your life spiral out of control. Discover how boundaries make life better today!

Plus, check out the Boundaries family collection of books dedicated to key areas of life - dating, marriage, raising kids, parenting teens, and leadership. Workbooks and Spanish editions are also available.

©2008 Henry Cloud (P)2017 Zondervan

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Full of religious moralism

Some good concepts, but spoilt by continuous referrals to the bible. Very much aimed at the American mid west.

2 people found this helpful

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LIFE CHANGING

For me this book spoke straight into my life, habits, thoughts and feelings. It goes through great lengths explaining all our different experiences, traumas and pasts can be why we don't have healthy boundaries. But even though our boundary conflicts might not be our fault, they are our responsibility. This is an amazing book, Iv been implementing boundaries for the past 6weeks, its been life changing and I fall short all the time, but that's ok because new habits and boundaries will take time to become the norm. I feel like Im starting to take control of my life and have a greater awareness and understanding. Very grateful.

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very "biblical" but useful

So there are a few things about this book. The authors assume that you're a rootin tootin Christian God loving soul. For the record I'm an atheist brought up in a Catholic/CofE environment. The authors advocate spanking which is illegal in the UK (though it is only explicitly stated once).

The voice does a good job of coming across in a paternal manner. How he pronounces "maturity" (mat-ooer-itee, instead of match-yuri-tee) which I found rather distracting and annoying. Now because of the voice actor, and because the authors assume you are a Christian already, it doesn't come across as preachy to me.

I found it an interesting exercise and treated it as an extended RE lesson, combined with advice on how to set, maintain, and measure progress with your personal social boundaries. It's also full of examples explaining the principles being taught, some from the Bible - including a new way of looking at the Parable of the Samaritan.

So, I'm taking the bits of this book I like and ignoring the rest. Sound familiar?

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comprehensive and helpful

author seems to be knowledgeable and practical. he addresses how childhood affects adult relations.worth every penny and every second spent

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Too religious for me

Didn't realise it would be so Christian. Don't have issues with it if that's your jam but the constant Bible references put me off so didn't get through it all. Should have looked at the reviews before downloading. Seems ok otherwise, if you're religious.

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Amazing Clarity

I've watched Henry Cloud on line and have found his insight thought provoking, practical and relational. I highly recommended this book if your on your jounery or if your just starting out on creating your own personal boundries. Don't stop here keep reading and keep getting stronger and fortifying your life and emotions.

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Life changing

The information in this book has already begun to transform my life into a happy one and my relationships into lovingly responsible encounters

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Excellent & Motivating

I loved it! really great for self development. Brought me closer to God and spirituality

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Great book - so insightful and eye-opening!

Loved this book! It truly has so many gems of wisdom in it. To tell the truth, I bought this book many years ago on Amazon kindle, but I found it a bit lengthy to read and it wasn't able to hold my attention, despite the gems in it. I got in on audible last year and I have finally finished it to the end. So many practical steps I can take as advised in this book and I'm looking forward to setting my boundaries and taking ownership of my life!

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excellent book

loved the book. made me aware of boundary issues l have with myself and other people and how to work on those.it's a real eye opener.

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  • Victoria Robben
  • 06-06-18

Wonderful but should probably mention religion or the Bible in title

This is a great book. All the information, examples, and strategies related to boundaries was wonderful! I wish I learned this earlier! It’s helped me so much already, and will continue to help me be more responsible and healthier in my relationships, work, home life, and health. Psychologically sound, with lots of insight and practical wisdom. I’m not religious and at first was a little turned off by all the biblical references, but they were presented very well and from a rational and helpful perspective. No shaming, blaming, guilt, or judgment. I enjoyed learning about the Bible from this positive perspective.

178 people found this helpful

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  • Christina Gelder
  • 21-03-19

Lots of biblical references

LOTS of biblical references which may be a deal breaker for some and often would be for me but in this case it was fine which just goes to show what a well written book it was and what a great message!

62 people found this helpful

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  • joe bateman
  • 25-02-19

Learned a lot - don’t know what you don’t know

Very encouraging and convicting read. Definitely have to have an open mind. We don’t know what we don’t know. This helps address bad thinking and personal boundary setting for oneself and with others. Opened my eyes to areas in my life that I thought were normal issues that I would just live with. Now I know I can address them and improve. This book provides tangible, step by step ways to address boundaries and setting new ones.

16 people found this helpful

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  • Nicole Luchaco
  • 04-03-19

Legitimately changed my life

I read the first 7 chapters 6 years ago, and it radically changed the way that I did life. 7 years later I came back and listened to the whole thing, and had the same experience. This book gave me the courage to say no. And to know when to say yes. I have shared this book with more people than I can count. And whenever they follow through with reading it, I hear the same thing “This book changed my life.”

28 people found this helpful

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  • Vikki
  • 20-07-18

LIFE CHANGING

I would recommend this book to all Christians and non-Christians alike. This book details concrete examples of boundaries and why they are so important. By the end it gives you the steps you will need to implement boundaries and live a healthy non-destructive lifestyle. This book will help you identify what might be holding you back. I never expected to feel so great about a book. I have since gifted this book to 5 people 😀

47 people found this helpful

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  • Shandra L Jordan
  • 17-01-19

This book will help you reflect<br />

I do not subscribe to a religion but the principles in this book are universal

6 people found this helpful

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  • Thomas Wells
  • 20-03-18

Good book, but the reader...

What do you think the narrator could have done better?

The narrator seemed to run on. It felt like he did not give enough time between sentences and thoughts in the book. Like maybe he was rushing through it.

Any additional comments?

I do wish the book had a few more examples that are based on what the people actually did. There were a few but, I felt the book could use a few more to show the reader/ listener how and why the person came to the boundary. A little more explanation on understanding how to set appropriate boundaries too. I really enjoyed the biblical context showing that if you can parse it, The Bible is an instruction manual to life. I will definitely be listing to this book several more times!

10 people found this helpful

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  • robbie samuel
  • 30-05-19

everything i needed and more

John breaks it down he sums me up in a nutshell. i have a lot to work on but eagar to be the best version of me by exercising love and staying true to my boundaries

4 people found this helpful

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  • Kyle
  • 07-02-19

More than expected. Uplifting!

This book opened my eyes to the consequences of not having boundaries, and the blessings of having firm boundaries. I feel encouraged and excited to continue developing this skill!

4 people found this helpful

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  • LDouglas
  • 12-09-19

a classic, still relevant! I highly recommend it!

Some friends recommended this book to me and it has changed my life! I will be buying a physical copy of the book just so I can highlight certain things to stick in my new behavior.

3 people found this helpful