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Becoming Eve

My Journey from Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi to Transgender Woman

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About this listen

 The powerful coming-of-age story of an ultra-Orthodox child who was born to become a rabbinic leader and instead became a woman
Abby Stein was raised in a Hasidic Jewish community in Brooklyn, isolated in a culture that lives according to the laws and practices of eighteenth-century Eastern Europe, speaking only Yiddish and Hebrew and shunning modern life. Stein was born as the first son in a dynastic rabbinical family, poised to become a leader of the next generation of Hasidic Jews.

But Abby felt certain at a young age that she was a girl. She suppressed her desire for a new body while looking for answers wherever she could find them, from forbidden religious texts to smuggled secular examinations of faith. Finally, she orchestrated a personal exodus from ultra-Orthodox manhood to mainstream femininity-a radical choice that forced her to leave her home, her family, her way of life.

Powerful in the truths it reveals about biology, culture, faith, and identity, Becoming Eve poses the enduring question: How far will you go to become the person you were meant to be? Biographies & Memoirs Gender Studies Judaism Social Sciences Middle East

Critic reviews

"Becoming Eve is a powerful, heartfelt account of the often fraught journey toward one's true self. In sharing her story, Abby Chava Stein lights the path for all of us who are embarking on journeys of our own."—TOVA MIRVIS, bestselling author of The Book of Separation, The Ladies Auxiliary, and The Outside World
"Becoming Eve is a beautiful, haunting story of self-discovery. Her longing for truth, acceptance, and love will echo in the heart of every reader."—LEAH VINCENT, author of Cut Me Loose: Sin and Salvation After My Ultra-Orthodox Girlhood
"Becoming Eve is a powerful, moving story of grappling with both gender and faith. Abby Chava Stein is a compelling storyteller who shows us how to follow the voice within--even when everyone and everything around us is telling us not to."—DANYA RUTTENBERG, author of Surprised By God and Nurture the Wow
"'No agenda, just my story,' Abby Stein writes in the prologue to her fascinating memoir. And yet, her book delivers on a very definite agenda: helping us empathize with experiences radically different from our own. With humor and grace-and impressive erudition of Jewish mysticism-Abby Stein grants us entry into a singular, otherworldly capsule: the byzantine world of Hasidic 'royal' families and the Sisyphean pursuit of living an authentic life within it.—SHULEM DEEN, author of All Who Go Do Not Return, winner of the Prix Médicis and the National Jewish Book Award
"Abby Stein's soul-searching memoir grabbed me at the epigraph and never let me go. While religion is certainly a central element in the story, Becoming Eve is just as importantly about a different sense of faith: a belief in life's transformative potential to culminate in joy."—SUSAN STRYKER, professor of gender and women's studies, Emmy Award-winning filmmaker, and author of Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution
"Becoming Eve is a vivid journey through Abby Stein's formative years in the Ultra-Orthodox Hasidic Jewish community as she struggles to find a more inclusive expression of her faith and learns to embrace her identity as a woman of trans experience."—SARAH VALENTINE, author of When I Was White
"Not only is Abby a trailblazer and ridiculously inspiring--she's a really talented writer. Becoming Eve is not to be missed."—Alma.com
"The harrowing and inspiring story of the exploration, discovery, and acceptance of her truth, both body and soul."—Publishers Weekly
"Born into an ultra-Orthodox Jewish family, it was always expected that Abby Stein would become a leader in the Hasidic community. But Abby, born a male, knew at a very young age that she identified as a woman. Eventually, she broke free of her community's and family's expectations to become the person she wanted to be."—Parade, ?Memoirs You Need to Be Reading Now?
All stars
Most relevant
I looked forward to hearing this but the poor narration spoiled it for me. I had to slow it down which is a first. Her accent is very heavy and the speech would have been clearer if they used someone else with a clear voice to read it. Also she has a strong lisp which does tend to get on the nerves although it can’t be helped. Her story was very interesting and sad in parts. This covers the start of her life up until she starts to transition. A few parts were skated over for example how did she tell her wife and her reaction. Her divorce was hardly mentioned. So a few holes. Overall a good read. I probably should have bought the written version instead.

Interesting read but poor narration.

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This is a story of an internal struggle between the souls truth and the prescribed truth. Abby recounts her story through the years living in the Frum chassidish community where LGBT, perhaps even more so the T, is not only ignored but suppressed. Striving to be the good version in accordance with the community, meant not being able to be oneself. Abby found and embraced her true being and lives her life more authentically. This comes with the cost of losing family because it is either the souls truth or the prescribed truth, it can't be both.
The narration was good, considering it is a debut narration.

Profound story of strength and depth

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I finished the whole story in under a day
as a transgender Jewish person, hearing the story of another transgender jew in such an honest way has been important and a blessing for me.

stunning emotional journey

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I loved this book. Just after reading "Unorthodox", I wanted to find out more about the ultra-orthodox world. This is the male version of it, Abby could have been Deborah's brother, and a man's life is so much more interesting than a woman's in that "gender-segregated" community.

What makes this story so unique, though, is the enormity of the challenge Abby faces to journey to her true self in such a restrictive, unforgiving environment... and the candid and honest insight she offers us.

I devoured the book in 3 days, learned a lot in the process, and fevered with Abby every step of the way.
I have also listened to many of her interviews, and now follow her journey on Facebook.

What a courage. What an inspiration for so many others. What an extraordinary destiny.
What an amazing and gracious lady!

A gripping story, an extraordinary destiny!

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As a Jew I didn’t have any issues understanding a lot of the Jewish terms but Abby has a distinct Yiddish accent and this combined with her unfortunate lisp and a Brooklyn accent make it quite difficult to listen to. Perhaps I’d have been better reading this in book format.

I finally listened to the book and my overwhelming thoughts were that this is a book that could have been good but wasn’t. I purchased the book to hear about how he became transgender, how he told his wife etc. Instead, it was confusing as to what happened at his sons bris, how he told his parents he was leaving and instead none of that was here.

What we got was a book that was difficult to listen to, really didn’t explain the issues that really brought things to a head and prompted his leaving and turned out to be a poor imitation of what it could have been.

Different narrator may have helped

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