"How do I not become an asshole?"

Emma sent this to James Johnson and Freddie Birley for Peer Effect Post Bag.

The fact she's asking is already a good sign.

What you'll hear:

Why self-reflection matters but isn't enough. Freddie breaks down the three groups you need around you. Your team is one. But they have limits most founders don't acknowledge.

The power dynamic nobody talks about. You can fire your team. They know it. James explains how far they'll actually push - and why expecting more isn't realistic.

What one team member said that changed everything. "Just tell me if it's non-negotiable. I'd rather not waste both our times trying to convince you when you've already decided." James shares why this matters.

The 360 feedback structure that works. But only if you have a facilitator. James explains why doing this yourself doesn't create safety for honest feedback.

The question that forces honesty. "Bring to mind my most problematic behavior." Freddie shares the full framework and why it works when normal feedback requests don't.

Why power distance kills feedback. As you get more senior, people stop speaking up. You read silence as approval. It's not. They're just calibrated to the hierarchy.

What happens in remote teams. Trust takes a lot to build, not much to break. Remote makes it harder. James and Freddie explain why this compounds the problem.

The reality:

It's hard for founders to get honest feedback on how they're actually experienced.

Your team will only push once, maybe twice. Then they stop. That's not them being not brave. That's just the dynamic.

If you're asking the question "how do I not become an asshole," you're probably not the one at risk.

One action: Listen to the end for what to do today if you want honest feedback.

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