Dr. Eddie Capparucci and Tami explore the uncomfortable truths of emotional regulation, the importance of sitting with emotional discomfort, and realistic expectations for betrayal addicts and their partners to see improvements in their relationship. They then answer listener questions about emotional regulation techniques, timeframes, and the motivation behind seeking to be an emotionally regulated partner in a relationship.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:33] The hard truth of staying emotionally present.

[4:34] Roadblocks to developing emotional leadership.

[7:08] What emotional leadership isn't.

[10:29] What emotional leadership is.

[18:30] Your partner is seeking safety, not explanations.

[20:33] Dialogue for emotionally stable conversations.

[22:35] The role of healthy conflict in healing.

[28:19] "You are asking a lot of the betrayed partner."

[33:32] The person in pain and grief never gets to take a timeout from the nightmare. Why should their partner?

[35:17] Is this a slip or relapse?

[38:36] How can I better manage my emotions in the moment?

[40:20] How long should recovery work take?

[43:02] How can I correct after I become disregulated?

[45:43] How long will it take to feel confident and see results in my relationship?

[47:40] My partner ran away, how long should I give him to process?

[49:58] Body language recommendations.

[53:47] How do I know if emotional regulation techniques are working for me?

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES

• "You cannot establish emotional leadership if you can't emotionally regulate yourself."

• "Emotional leadership is not about winning. It's about the way you handle emotional distress when things become uncomfortable."

• "Safety, not explanations, is what your partner's nervous system is seeking in order to regulate."

• "You can be factually correct and absent at the same time."

• "Demonstrating emotional leadership is not a one-time performance."