Every interaction moves people in one of two directions.

Toward threat. Or toward safety.

Most leaders don't set out to put their people on the defensive. But it happens anyway—in the meeting where someone gets publicly corrected, in the rumor that goes unaddressed, in the project that went to someone else without explanation.

In this episode of How Work Actually Works, Joe Marques and KayLee Hansen break down the SCARF model—a neuroscience-backed framework developed by David Rock and the NeuroLeadership Institute that explains both why people shut down and what makes them come alive.

They walk through all five drivers—Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness—exploring what puts people on guard and what creates reward. Joe shares a brutal story about a leader who told employees their location was like "the company's right arm"...weeks before security showed up and the whole place was eliminated. KayLee brings a legendary Ritz-Carlton story about a room attendant who booked a plane ticket to Hawaii just to hand-deliver a guest's forgotten laptop.

They also tackle the return-to-office tension, why "connect before you lead" matters more than proving you earned the promotion, and what happens when fairness gets confused with equality.

And yes—there's a cutout face taped to a conference phone. You'll understand.

Key Takeaways

• Why silence unsettles people more than bad news ever could
• The difference between certainty (knowing what's coming) and autonomy (having a say in it)
• How new leaders cause damage by trying to prove competence before building connection
• The "10-second certainty boost"—a simple way to put people at ease
• Why focusing on one letter of SCARF per week beats walking around with a mental checklist

People are always scanning for threat or safety. You choose which one you create.