TL;DR: When co-parenting turns into a performance, it’s not about the kids—it’s about who’s watching. We unpack performative parenting, the Co-Parenting Olympics, and why some parents suddenly become “Parent of the Year” when court, lawyers, or outsiders are involved.

From gymnastics that disappear after trial to emails written for an audience, this episode names what’s really happening in high conflict relationships and relationship conflict—and why living under constant scrutiny changes how you parent, respond, and survive. Along the way, we’re honest about what parenting looks like off-stage, what actually matters to us, and where performance ends.

Long Description: Few things are as disorienting in a high conflict relationship as realizing that parenting has turned into a performance. Suddenly, decisions aren’t about what actually works for the kids—they’re about optics. Who’s watching. How it looks in writing. How it sounds in court. How it might be repeated by a lawyer, a guardian ad litem, or someone else with power over your family.

In this episode of High Conflict Hell, Jen and JeniLynn talk about performative parenting—what it is, how it shows up in high-conflict co-parenting, and why it becomes so common once lawyers, courts, or outside audiences enter the picture. We unpack how parenting behaviors can escalate around hearings and trials, only to disappear once the spotlight moves on—and how confusing and destabilizing that can feel inside an already intense relationship conflict.

We talk about the Co-Parenting Olympics: sudden extracurriculars, carefully documented dentist visits, perfectly worded emails, and parenting choices that seem designed less for the children and more for an audience. We explore why performance is often rewarded in systems built on limited snapshots—and why consistent, invisible labor rarely makes it into court narratives, especially in high-conflict family systems.

This episode also digs into the emotional toll of living under constant scrutiny. When every message feels like evidence. When you start filtering your words through how they’ll sound “read out loud.” When it feels like you have to perform too—or risk being labeled negligent, uncooperative, or unstable. In ongoing relationship conflicts, that pressure can quietly reshape how you parent, communicate, and even see yourself.

This isn’t about demonizing effort or pretending parenting doesn’t involve showing up. It’s about naming when performance becomes a weapon—used in high conflict relationships to control narratives rather than support children. And it’s about validating how exhausting it is to raise kids inside systems that often prioritize appearances over reality.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What performative parenting looks like in a high conflict relationship
• How parenting behavior shifts during litigation, hearings, and evaluations
• Why some parenting efforts peak during court involvement and vanish afterward
• How performance is rewarded in custody systems while consistency i

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