Dirty Laundry cover art

Dirty Laundry

Why Adults with ADHD Are so Ashamed and What We Can Do to Help

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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

If you have ADHD - or love somebody who does - DIRTY LAUNDRY will change your life, and your relationships.

Do you feel crippling shame because you struggle with cleaning, personal hygiene, or time-keeping? Do you always feel misunderstood by the people close to you and find that they get frustrated by your behaviour?

DIRTY LAUNDRY is an unfiltered look into the chaos of real life with ADHD. It will transform your self-hatred into self-acceptance, with simple tips that actually work for your brain. It will also help to educate partners, parents and friends, to help them move from frustration to patience, understanding - and love.

Learn how to:

  • Stop believing you are fundamentally broken
  • Stop judging yourself by the standards of a neurotypical world
  • Communicate your struggles to those who love you
  • Support someone with ADHD in ways that work for them
  • Be compassionate rather than judgemental
  • ...and much more.

From the husband-and-wife team behind social media phenomenon @ADHD_Love, whose viral videos have been viewed more than 200 million times, comes a fearless, often outrageously funny, account of life, learning, and growing with ADHD. They share the strategies they have used to reduce shame, improve communication, and find happiness in their neurodivergent household.

Filled with heartbreak and humour in equal measure, DIRTY LAUNDRY is an invaluable resource both for neurodivergents and the people who love them.

©2023 Richard Pink and Roxanne Emery (P)2023 Penguin Audio Attention Deficit Disorders Mental Health Neurodiversity Personal Development Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Self-Esteem Special need Health Marriage Funny Inspiring Human Brain

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 Taking Charge of Adult ADHD, Second Edition cover art
I’m delighted they’ve found the peace and comfort we all seek. I can’t help but think that this does read a little like an episode of The Waltons, though.

No mention of rejection sensitivity dysphoria and it’s impact on relationships or hypermobility but that doesn’t seem to a problem in this case.

Overall: good luck to ‘em, and to you.

M

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Information was clear and helpful and I realted massively paticularly with the direction dyslexia!

Very Honest and Helpful

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Really enjoyed social media content, half way through listening and really enjoying both viewpoints!

Audible for adhd is great!

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First of all - to the reviewers choosing to slate the book by saying it is “infantilising” or that it didn’t teach them anything they didn’t already know, I find this untrue and arrogant. I don’t believe this book was sold as a ‘self help’ book, the authors don’t claim to be ‘healers’, prophets, or scholars publishing cutting edge research - they are honest in their sharing of this as a personal journey (underpinned by knowledge and research) and one that they imagine others might relate to in a helpful way, which clearly many people do. I don’t believe they’re ignorant to the fact that some people won’t relate. The simplicity (and the similarly critiqued short length of the book) is digestible and the message to ‘forgive yourself more’ and strive to reduce shame is a vital goal in life, one that is not championed enough and is within itself is radical, whilst they don’t claim that it’s easy.

I am a psychotherapist and I have ADHD, and it is infuriating when people claim to be qualified teachers on this subject, spewing out ‘tips’ that are harmful, unhelpful, and can increase shame and mental health spirals. This book is truly KIND in its message and authenticity to practice acceptance, reducing the shame of vulnerability and disability, and encouraging people to ask for help from capable loved ones and professionals.

When you have ADHD, or any type of neurodiversity, you are often vulnerable to the mismatched environment of a neurotypical world, and I don’t think it is infantilising to have a partner (or family member/ friend/ teacher/ therapist), who you rely on to guide you and hold your hand through experiences that would otherwise be crippling. To expect people to “be proactive… put systems in place to work through your strengths… not give up on your weaknesses” is problematic because for many people this is an impossible goal that sets you up for failure and further shame, and there are plenty people who might forever require assistance (hands up to living with a disability) and the message of this book urges people (and society - I’m looking at you narrow minded reviewers) to lean in to patience, vulnerability, and help-seeking, which can in fact support the ‘building of systems’ that encourage growth.

So, secondly (and finally, because no one asked for an essay but apparently I’m writing one) Thank You Richard and Roxanne. Thank you for your openness and for creating a resource that taught me things (despite a breadth of knowledge on the subject - you can never learn enough, or have it explained to you in too many ways), and comforted parts of me that still needed some TLC. This book is helpful for people with ADHD, and their loved ones, to remind people they’re not alone and that help, support, growth, and development is more accessible when we choose Love and compassion over Hate and shame. Give it a read and share it around because, as mentioned, it’s bite-sized, which many of us neurospicy people really appreciate! 👏🏼

Honest, vulnerable, brave, kind, and helpful - Thank you!!

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This book had shed me some tears as I see myself as Rox. Listening to the book from both perspectives is going to be a god send for readers, it can enable their partners/ parents etc understand also.
I think this book has made me understand that my mother may also has it and one of my children. I have been to the doctors and am awaiting tests. This book had been so informative and invaluable as my husband is next to read it. I hope this will enable him to be as supportive as Rich and cannot wait for our future. Thank you so, so much!

Mother with current undiagnosed ADHD

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Every chapter was so in tune it’s is crazy! I smiled and nodded my whole way through I even had tears well up. So well written and every chapter explaining both sides. Fantastic book for both neurodivergent and their loved ones

I feel heard!

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I honestly had no idea I had ADHD until I started listening to Rox and Richard on Facebook and I found myself saying ‘oh god, that’s me!’ The book is really well delivered as audio, it has helped me to understand a lot about the way my brain works… and why I own so many domain names and have boxes of abandoned hobby materials!

So relatable

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Loved the honesty in this book and the tips to support an Adhd person. I will be buying a hard copy for my husband!

Brilliant

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So helpful to understand the challenges and benefits of having ADHD but also how best to support a loved one with ADHD. Thank you!

Double Fab: To understand and to support!

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Sooo. I got this because my wife struggles with ADHD and I wanted to find some ways to help her.

What actually happened was “oh f…. This is me…”

I’ve had minor struggles for a long time, but always got told that ADHD was always going to be to the level that Roxy and my wife clearly struggles… but now I’m starting to see that there are ‘lesser’ levels of it and now I think not only do I understand my partner more… but maybe me too…

Well… that was unexpected…

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