In My Grandfather’s Shadow cover art

In My Grandfather’s Shadow

A story of war, trauma and the legacy of silence

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In My Grandfather’s Shadow

By: Angela Findlay
Narrated by: Angela Findlay
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

In 1987, Angela Findlay walked into a prison and instantly but inexplicably felt at home. For years she had wrestled with a sense of 'badness' within her. But working with prisoners was just the beginning of her search for answers that took her to Nazi Germany and the life of her dead grandfather, who, it emerged, was a decorated general on the Eastern front. In a rare confluence of memoir, psychology and historical detective story, this is Findlay's account of her unflinching quest for the truth about her German family, one that breaks through the silence surrounding many of the Second World War's perpetrators.

In My Grandfather's Shadow explores the heritability of unresolved experiences, questions deeply held perceptions of good and bad, and uncovers the lesser-known history of the war's losers, a post-war culture of apology and atonement, and the lingering legacy of shame. Using her own family story to explore an episode in history that continues to appal and fascinate, Findlay reveals that it is possible not only for the scars of trauma to be handed down through generations, but also for them to be healed.

© Angela Findlay 2022 (P) Penguin Audio 2022

 Mental Health Military Personal Development Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders Psychology Psychology & Mental Health War Health Thought-Provoking

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Critic reviews

A remarkable cross-pollination of memoir, psychology and history in which the author comes to grips with being the granddaughter of a Nazi general.
Brave ... full of insights and good research. (Caroline Moorehead)
A compelling journey through guilt and shame that asks fundamental and painful questions about the extent of a family member's participation in one of the biggest crimes of the 20th century. (Derek Niemann, author of A Nazi in the Family)
In My Grandfather's Shadow is an extraordinary book. Beautifully written, poignant and acutely perceptive; endlessly thought-provoking and challenging. From the nature of wickedness to the phenomenon of epigenetics, it is also an extremely powerful and different way of seeing the vast and terrible tides of history. (Sinclair McKay, author of Berlin, Dresden, and The Secret Life of Bletchley Park)
Seeking to untangle the complexities of her own life, the author goes in search of a WW2 German general - the grandfather she never knew. The outcome is a powerful and at times painfully honest story that will touch readers at many levels. (Julia Boyd, author of Travellers in the Third Reich and A Village in the Third Reich)
This is a moving and powerful memoir that illuminates the extraordinary power of unprocessed trauma as it passes through generations, and how when it is faced it can be healed. (Julia Samuel, author of Every Family Has a Story, Grief Works and This Too Shall Pass)
[A] remarkable memoir .... It's a powerful investigation into the individual personal cost that results from wider history, and the ways in which inherited guilt and trauma can leave scars across generations. (Caroline Sanderson)
This is an absolutely extraordinary book. In peeling back the layers of her family history, Angela Findlay reveals a vast, hidden European story that few nations have ever been brave enough to confront. (Keith Lowe, Sunday Times bestselling author of Savage Continent: Europe in the Aftermath of World War II)

A page turner of the highest calibre! Meticulously researched, searingly honest and beautifully written, this timely book is a salient reminder of how intergenerational relationships connect threads between past and present.
The author skillfully excavates her grandfather's life putting the family puzzle together piece by piece to create a forensic and fascinating portrait of the past. Her book gives new meaning to the prescient words of psychoanalyst, Roger Woolger: 'It is the responsibility of the living to heal the dead. Otherwise their unfinished business will continue to play out in our fears, phobias and illnesses.

(Marina Cantacuzino, Author and founder of The Forgiveness Project)
All stars
Most relevant
A personal memoir, gripping detective story and powerful emotional trip into the legacy of war.

Extraordinary story

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Connected with this on so many levels, as there are so many layers. Whether you have an interest in World War history, particularly personal accounts or understanding the impact of generational trauma and the search for answers, this book is worth listening to.

Beautifully written and resonates in unexpected ways.

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Extraordinary powerful and beautifully written memoir. I have learned so much more about the context and horror of war, of history and the layers of self.

Extraordinary and powerful

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The author seamlessly guides us through her experiences and that of her family’s wartime experiences with such a wealth of information ,pathos and authenticity that it transcends any preconception or preconceived ideas you might have on this subject. Angela Findlay generously and with great honesty juxtaposes her own experiences and challenges in such a sensitive manner and interesting way.
Her father had often said to her “you make people think” she certainly does and I will think of the themes and questions posed by this book for a long time to come. A very important book and beautifully read and brilliantly produced.

Profound, informative and thought provoking

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A fascinating, well-written memoir read in such an expressionless monotone that it is hard to listen to more than short excerpts at a time. I’m sure another narrator would have done greater justice to this extraordinary life story.

A fascinating story poorly performed

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