Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing cover art

Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing

The powerful memoir from the beloved star of Friends

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Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing

By: Matthew Perry
Narrated by: Matthew Perry
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About this listen

 'There's never been a more honest or raw memoir . . . and it may just save lives' Daily Mail

'Funny, fascinating, compelling . . . also a wonderful read for fans of Friends' The Times

'HI, MY NAME IS MATTHEW, although you may know me by my full name. My friends call me Matty.'

So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who travelled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us . . . and so much more.

In an extraordinary story that only he could tell - and in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it - Matthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he's found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humour, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fuelled it despite seemingly having it all.

'An unflinching and often harrowing must-read for 90s pop culture fans' Guardian

'Written with Chandler's trademark sarcasm and self-deprecation' Telegraph

'A hopeful read . . . I started to think of [it] not as a celebrity memoir about addiction, but as an addiction memoir written by a man who understands his own history through the prism of showbiz' Independent©2022 Matthew Perry Entertainment & Celebrities Mental Health Awareness Celebrity Comedy Funny Inspiring Emotionally Gripping Heartfelt Witty

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Critic reviews

Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing is a raw, unflinching memoir that took courage to write. As it turns out, Matthew Perry has a lot of courage. He takes us through his addiction, his illness and his paralyzing loneliness. Somehow, during the course of his life, Matthew was able to turn his pain into comedic joy for others, but, he tells us, it was at a cost. Matthew takes us through his "hell" but doesn't wallow. Ultimately, this book is filled with hope for the future. If you want to know about who Matthew Perry is, stay away from the rags and read this.
There's never been a more honest or raw memoir . . . and it may just save lives (Daily Mail)
Funny, fascinating, compelling . . . also a wonderful read for fans of Friends
Harrowing and revealing about the juncture where extreme compound addiction collides with mega-celebrity
An unflinching and often harrowing must-read for 90s pop culture fans
Written with Chandler's trademark sarcasm and self-deprecation
A hopeful read . . . I started to think of [it] not as a celebrity memoir about addiction, but as an addiction memoir written by a man who understands his own history through the prism of showbiz
All stars
Most relevant
Thank you so much for writing in so much detail about so many personal things. This book kept me up all night listening. I really feel like I understand the Big Terrible Thing so much better now, Obviously I will never understand fully, but you have really opened my eyes to the reality of addiction. This is such a valuable book. I intend to get a couple of copies into the school library at the first opportunity. It will do so much more than years of staff standing up in front of classes trying to teach about addiction in PSHE

Utterly harrowing

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Really open and honest. Matthews writing style and pacing is incredible and intriguing. Highly recommend!

What a fantastic read

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I've been so looking forward to this book! As a massive fan of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, I've always felt Matt Albie was very much Matthew Perry as himself; an addict, that, although talented, is very self-destructive and uses people as collateral damage. I was so excited to hear a bit about Studio 60 - if you take nothing else from my review, go watch it! As Perry himself says, it's criminally under-watched. So interesting to hear that Sorkin is also something of an Albie character.

There were a few enjoyable positive moments, such as the fax romance with Julia Roberts. All his romantic disasters had me screaming at the audiobook, I knew it wasn't going to end well but I was still rooting for one of these relationships to work. He seems to fall in love so easily.

What stands out is that usually this type of book is how the person has overcome their issues but Perry is still right in there, he doesn't have many days sober, so the book almost doesn't feel finished. I really, really wish him the best.

I was able to follow the narrative mostly, it generally went forward. Sometimes the repetitive language was unintentionally mimicking his neverending addiction cycle. But then we got to chapter 10 and beyond, that was all over the place and included word for word chunks of earlier parts of the book. Whoever allowed that should have been sacked.

And as for the Keanu comments, I'm not here for people giving the book 1 star on this basis when they haven't even read it.
Was it in poor taste? Yes.
Should his editor have taken it out? Probably.
Is he entitled to his own opinion? Absolutely.
This book is a detailed account on why Perry is no angel and has spent much of his life making poor decisions. This was never going to be a pleasant read - just an interesting one - and I'm sure he knows he's going to lose fans with this memoir who think of him only as Chandler.
I'm willing to bet money that all the people up-in-arms would have laughed if he has used the example of, say, James Corden.

An honest account

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I am really enjoying this audiobook. It's incredibly honest and it's like having a friend talking to you. As I struggle with some dark thoughts myself, I feel less alone. Even if I never met the author, some things just resonate on a deeper level. Thank you, Matthew Perry, for being so open up about your life and for this book.

A conversation with a friend

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Reading this in the days after he died, almost a year since this book was released. A story of the unrelenting, itch just to try to feel better. Matthew describes an unlikeable, unfaithful, selfish unutterable fuck-up who made so many fans of Friends feel better....I really hope people can look beyond the scathing comments left here around November 2022 by people who seem to have been looking for Chandler's 'happy ending' in this book. I hope people can see the unglamorous ravages of addiction. I hope they never feel as bad as Matthew Perry tells us he felt...all the time

A Tragedy, Told without the Laughs

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