Aspergirls cover art

Aspergirls

Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome

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Aspergirls

By: Rudy Simone
Narrated by: Lucie McNeil
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About this listen

Award winning handbook for girls and women on the autism spectrum, perceptive and wise reflections and advice .

*Gold Medal Winner in the Sexuality / Relationships Category of the 2011 IPPY Awards*

* Honorary Mention in the 2010 BOTYA Awards Women's Issues Category *

The award-winning handbook for girls and women on the autism spectrum, perceptive and wise reflections and advice.

Girls with Asperger's Syndrome are less frequently diagnosed than boys, and even once symptoms have been recognised, help is often not readily available. The image of coping well presented by AS females of any age can often mask difficulties, deficits, challenges, and loneliness.

This is a must-have handbook written by an Aspergirl for Aspergirls, young and old. Rudy Simone guides you through every aspect of both personal and professional life, from early recollections of blame, guilt, and savant skills, to friendships, romance and marriage. Employment, career, rituals and routines are also covered, along with depression, meltdowns and being misunderstood. Including the reflections of over thirty-five women diagnosed as on the spectrum, as well as some partners and parents, Rudy identifies recurring struggles and areas where Aspergirls need validation, information and advice. As they recount their stories, anecdotes, and wisdom, she highlights how differences between males and females on the spectrum are mostly a matter of perception, rejecting negative views of Aspergirls and empowering them to lead happy and fulfilled lives.

This book will be essential reading for females of any age diagnosed with AS, and those who think they might be on the spectrum. It will also be of interest to partners and loved ones of Aspergirls, and anybody interested either professionally or academically in Asperger's Syndrome.

(P)2019 Hodder & Stoughton Limited©2019 Rudy Simone
Children's Health Mental Health Personal Development Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Health Autism Special need

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Critic reviews

Ruby Simone's approach is hands-on, and her writing style is easy to read. The chapters are short and give good tips to woman and girls with AS and the people closest to them. I don't know that I believe all the holistic stuff, but I think this book should be required reading for woman and girls who have been diagnosed with AS. (A Girl Walks into a Bookstore Blog)
Every chapter deals with the everyday things that occur in life, explaining how you could feel when you're in love, when you fancy someone, to what you do and should do when going on a date. Sexual relationships and sexual activity are clearly explained, as are how they are affected by sensory issues and whether sex is painful and annoying (Asperger United)
It is interesting the way temper meltdowns are described very accurately and are written just as I experience them, including crying, frustration, shouting, yelling, being sarcastic, becoming vicious, feeling faint or dizzy and that temper meltdowns often happen when we are hungry. (Asperger United)
This is a very readable and enlightening book for all Aspergrirls, their family, friends and involved others... This thoughtful account enthuses the reader and builds their understanding of the specific needs of Aspergirls; a highly recommended book. (Youth in Mind)
In the accessible and relevant 'Aspergirls', Rudy Simone takes the reader through the stages of life from childhood to old age, looking at issues such as the Aspergirl's 'meltdowns', 'stims' (self-stimulatory behaviour), literal thinking, socialising and sexuality. It is written in a touching, often humorous and very practical style, effectively providing a life manual for females with Asperger Syndrome. The anecdotes from Aspergirls she has interviewed broaden the reader's insight into what is must be like to live with this syndrome. (Speech & Language Therapy in Practice)
In a lovely style, Rudy Simone covers every aspect of personal and professional life, from early recollections of blame, guilt and savant skills to friendships, romance and marriage...Rudy identifies recurring struggles and areas where Aspergirls need validation, information and advice. As they recount their stories, anecdotes and wisdom, she highlights how differences between males and females on the spectrum are mostly a matter of perception and empowers Aspergirls to lead happy and fulfilled lives. (Human Givens Journal)
All stars
Most relevant
If you are older and feeling "different" from other women, this might be very helpful

Enlightening

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Found this really insightful, linked to this book from Fern Brady’s recently released book and I’m glad I did.

Really useful

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I will be coming back to this again. Extremely helpful book on Asperger's in women

valuable book

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Although I disagree with a few of Simone's recommendations, she offers swathes of salient advice.

Aspergirls and Asperboys would benefit reading

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I read this as someone who is midway through the diagnostic process and who has done a great deal of reading around the topic.

As a summary, I overall found this to be fascinating and insightful, however the further into the book I got, the more there were ideas raised which have the capacity to be harmful.

I believe this is worth the read, but it shouldn't be the only thing you read, as this an area where understanding is rapidly shifting. I would imagine Simone may have evolved her views in the 13 years since this was published.

I would also say I'm likely not at the level that this book is pitched to speak to. Having a degree, a successful career and a happy 15 year long marriage meant I had already learned a lot of the lessons therein. I would imagine younger women would find this more helpful and inspiring than I did.



The good: It was validating to hear the many experiences of autistic women. Especially early chapters were validating and resonated a great deal. I connected to several of the points about experience of gender roles and have added a few more examples to my data file supporting my own diagnosis.

The writing style was clear and well structured, and covered a good breadth of the experiences of autistic women, and accounted for the difference in societal expectations that can cause us to go unnoticed.

I also appreciated that the advice was pitched both at parents and also at autistic girls themselves, and also accounted for some variance in the ages of the women and girls being spoken to. Many texts are pitched at parents only, so this was refreshing and I can see why this book is recommended in autistic circles.



The bad: Repeated reference to autistic people as 'emotionally immature' or 'childlike' was uncomfortable, especially as someone who has worked extremely hard at this and as a result has more emotional intelligence than many of their NT peers.

Heterocentric - There is a huge part of the autistic community who are LGBT, myself included, however 99% of the book assumed heterosexuality, which over time became alienating. If nothing else it indicated a non-representative sample of participants.

Exercise as a fix for all ills - The concept of exercise was pushed hard in this book as a magic fix for a lot of issues. There are a LOT of autistic people with comorbidities for whom exercise can never be pleasurable. Personally, I am arthritic and find the feeling of sweat to be a sensory nightmare. Exercise will bring on a meltdown, not prevent one. I appreciate the author is herself autistic and so this may be a limit to her perspective she hadn't foreseen, but again, this was alienating.

Meltdowns being described as tantrums - I acknowledge that language can change over time, and that perhaps my 2023 gaze is colouring my view of this, but a meltdown and a tantrum are VERY different things. A tantrum stops as soon as demands are met (like a child demanding sweets immediately calming down). A meltdown doesn't stop... it has to run its course. Conflating the two implies that meltdowns are a manipulation tactic rather than a sensory system in overwhelm.

Talking about a cure - Autistic people aren't broken and do not need to be cured. This section also implied that a mothers diet creates autism, which was a very American-centric view which didn't account for other cultures having very different food habits and autistic people existing globally. I believe that implying autism is caused by lifestyle rather than genetics has the potential to be harmful.



Overall...

Worth a read as part of a wider cross section of literature. Some parts resonated a lot.
However, this shouldn't be where you stop reading.

Fascinating, but a few areas felt problematic

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