Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die cover art

Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die

And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love and More Things That Ruin Your Life

Preview
Get this deal Try Premium Plus free
Offer ends 29 January 2026 at 11:59PM GMT.
Prime members: New to Audible? Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Just £0.99/mo for your first 3 months of Audible.
1 bestseller or new release per month—yours to keep.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, podcasts, and Originals.
Auto-renews at £8.99/mo after 3 months. Cancel monthly.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
£8.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically.

Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die

By: Daniel Sloss
Narrated by: Daniel Sloss
Get this deal Try Premium Plus free

£8.99/mo after 3 months. Cancel monthly. Offer ends 29 January 2026 at 11:59PM GMT.

£8.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

Buy Now for £12.99

Buy Now for £12.99

LIMITED TIME OFFER | £0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Premium Plus auto-renews at £8.99/mo after 3 months. Terms apply.

About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Daniel Sloss' stand-up comedy engages, enrages, offends, unsettles, educates, comforts and gets audiences roaring with laughter - all at the same time. In his groundbreaking specials, seen on Netflix and HBO, he has brilliantly tackled everything from male toxicity and friendship to love, romance and marriage - and claims (with the data to back it up) that his on-stage laser-like dissection of relationships has single-handedly caused more than 300 divorces and 120,000 breakups.

Now, in his first book, he picks up where his specials left off, and goes after every conceivable kind of relationship - with one's country (Sloss' is Scotland); with America; with lovers, ex-lovers, ex-lovers who you hate, ex-lovers who hate you; with parents; with best friends (male and female), not-best friends; with children; with siblings; and even with the global pandemic and our own mortality. In Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die, every human connection gets the brutally funny (and unfailingly incisive) Sloss treatment as he illuminates the ways in which all of our relationships are fragile and ridiculous and awful - but also valuable and meaningful and important.

©2021 Daniel Sloss (P)2021 Penguin Audio
Performing Arts Stand-up Shows Funny Comedy Thought-Provoking Witty Feel-Good

Listeners also enjoyed...

Rambling Man cover art
I Don't Need Therapy cover art
Glutton cover art
I'm Glad My Mom Died cover art
Objects in the Mirror cover art
RESUяяECTION by Boris Johnson cover art
James Acaster's Classic Scrapes cover art
How to be Champion cover art
James Acaster’s Findings cover art
James Acaster's Guide to Quitting Social Media cover art
Parsnips, Buttered cover art
Undoctored cover art
The Decade in Tory cover art
Bisection cover art
As Good as It Gets cover art
So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know cover art
All stars
Most relevant
loved this book..
sloss is hilarious.

I'm going to listen to it again 🤣🤣🤣

Absolutely awesome

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

Yes, for listeners who abhor swear words, this is not the book for you. Though it is definitely the book you need. Get over yourselves.

Also, other people who need this book are those in toxic relationships and because I’m a generous person I have gifted several of them copies of this book for Christmas. Not just because I love my friends, but mainly because I am passive aggressive and I hope that some of them will get the hint.

That said, this book is not a manual on how to recognise that you’re in a relationship that’s bad for you. No. There’s much more to it as Daniel shares his take on life with us. Sometimes poignant, sometimes sad, but mostly just really really funny.

Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m a bit biased. I’ve seen Sloss in several Edinburgh Fringe shows over the years. That’s how I first heard about him, back when he was a Home Alone kid lookalike, but much more sweary. I’d say that he’s grown from being a bit of a funny guy, to one of the best comedians around.

So, not only am I recommending this book, I’m also saying that if you want a good laugh, you should go see his shows whenever he’s in a town near you. Or failing that, check him out on Netflix and maybe give some of his podcasts a go, they’re on Audible or other places where they do pocasts.

Don’t get this book if you’re offended by... words

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

Like his stand up but just 5 hours long! What is there not to love about that?!

Awesome

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

Fantastic audio book read by a fantastic comedian 12/10. loved every minute of it ❤.

😂😂😂😂😂

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

Honestly life changing, I cannot stress enough how much this book is worth a read or listen. It will make you re-evaluate everything.

Just the best

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

See more reviews