Unlovable Bastard cover art

Unlovable Bastard

Gay Dark Romance

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Unlovable Bastard

By: K.A. Merikan
Narrated by: Nathan Kelly
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About this listen

“This is not the night you die.”

After years of working for a loan shark, Robert is done with blood and violence. All he has to show for it is a bag of money and a lifetime of regrets. There’s no other way out of his line of work than in a body bag.

So Robert decides to die.

But on the night he chooses to seal his own fate, destiny offers him a chance at redemption. When Robert saves a handsome young escort from a terrible death, he has no idea he is setting in motion much more than one last attempt at proving that inside the hardened shell, he is a decent human being.

Charming, quick-witted, and full of smiles, Nathan is all Robert could dream of. He’s also ready to fall into the arms of his gruff protector. Robert, on the other hand, has never been with a man and will first need to fight his own demons if he is to accept that his whole being wants to make Nathan his.

With his former boss hunting them both, time is ticking, and Robert might just not get the chance to decide before it’s too late. More importantly though, Robert will stop at nothing to protect the man who’s made him feel alive again, the man who is the only thing between him and the abyss.

“I never had to think much about death before, but I did yesterday. I thought I would die. In a hole. Covered with dirt. Suffocate underground. But then you saved me.”

Possible spoilers:

Themes: enemies to lovers, protector, cruelty, homophobia, crime, self-discovery, family conflict, age gap, escort, self-hate, first time, revenge, on the run

Genre: Dark, gritty, M/M contemporary romance

Content: Scorching hot, emotional, explicit scenes

Length: 90,000 words (stand-alone novel, HEA)

Warning: This story contains scenes of violence, torture, mentions of suicide, offensive language, morally ambiguous characters, homophobia, and homophobic language.

©2017 K.A. Merikan (P)2025 Acerbi&Villani ltd
Destiny Romance

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All stars
Most relevant
This story really did have a bit of everything: steamy moments, heart-pounding danger, family bonding, and even a character-centric journey of self discovery. I thought Wyatt Baker did an incredible job with the narration--his emotional delivery made me feel like I was right there with these men as they dealt with the rollercoaster their lives had become.   

I don't know if I would call this romance "dark", but the characters were certainly morally ambiguous. I didn't really like Robert or Nathan when this audio began, but K.A. Merikan won me over as they always do. Despite all the terrible things Robert had to do throughout the story, there was something deeply sad about his lonely life before he met Nathan. Being forced into the closet took a serious toll on him, and watching him take the slow journey towards accepting his sexuality was kinda beautiful. Nathan initially annoyed me, only because he couldn't make up his mind about where his loyalties lay, but once he and Robert started to take their hookups more seriously I could see what a good heart he actually had. As I followed along on their tumultuous adventure, I was surprised by how emotional the romantic connection between Robert and Nathan was. These men had an unconventional relationship, that's for sure, but there were still strong ties that kept them together even when it seemed like the obvious choice to run. I thought the storyline was captivating, the tiny bit of suspense was thrilling, and the bond between Nathan and Robert kept me listening all the way until the very end to see if there was a way for these two very different individuals to make a relationship last.

**I voluntarily listened to a free copy of this book. This review expresses my honest thoughts and opinions.   

Surprisingly emotional for 2 morally ambiguous men

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All the lovely darkness I expect from KA Merrikan. The characters connected believably for me and it had just the right amount of conflict and heat. Good narration.

Dark romance

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I am a huge fan of the falling for the tough-guy protector with a hidden, gentle heart trope and I loved Merikan's use of it here. Robert is a great example of one of those protectors and Nathan is worth protecting. I am often, however, skeptical of the gay for you trope as it can sometimes happen too quickly and with no deep thought. Here, Robert has some completely believable inner struggles based on the man he has become and his past. Wyatt Baker is perfect for this book. He doesn't play any of the characters softer than written to try to make them more appealing. He presents them warts and all as they are on the page. Great story, great performance.

Great characters

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Wow, this audiobook is incredible. It has thrills, chills, suspense, betrayal, fear, torture, angst, and desperation. It also has companionship, growth, redemption, comfort, protection, reunion, first-time, sacrifice, and love. So many opposing forces and emotions. I spent the listen alternating between suspense, relief, and waiting for the other shoe to drop. LOL. These authors really know how to write a story to make your heart race. There were many points I thought, "There is no way they can survive this!" Did they? Well, you'll just have to listen yourself, but I will warn you, the last couple chapters (the last hour or so before the epilogue) are harsh and they will make you cringe.

The growth that Robert experiences as he goes from intending to kill himself, to rescuing an intended victim of homophobic murder, to connection and self acceptance, to love and being willing to sacrifice everything for another person, is a gritty, confused, and touching journey. Along the way, he also reconnects with family, redeems old injuries, and earns forgiveness. (Full disclosure, he also kills a few people, but they deserve it.)

Wyatt Baker did a great job with the narration, capturing the feelings, mood, atmosphere, and emotions.

I received a free copy of this audiobook through Gay Romance Reviews and am voluntarily leaving this honest review.

WOW! Chills, thrills, redemption, and love

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good book. I was expecting something dark and although it started that way I didn't find it last all that long. there are some moments that are rough towards the end to hear but mostly about the past.

I still enjoyed the story and the narration.

not what I expected

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