Pirate Funny

Historical romance novelist Kate Inskip needs a break. Divorced, overworked, and completely stressed out, her writing buddies decide to surprise her with exactly what she needs - a vacation on a remote island that boasts a rich history and a crumbling castle built by an 18th-century pirate. But things don't go according to plan. A long flight, lost luggage, and a missed connection leave Kate wishing she'd stayed home. And a knife-wielding mugger is the last straw.

Ben Roberts hears voices…alien voices. When word of his abilities spreads through the galactic grapevine, Ben ranks number one on an A.I.’s most wanted list to become their cybernated slave. A bleak prospect, but what if they offered him everything he ever dreamed of in exchange? A...

In a raging sandstorm, two men with their pregnant wives fatefully meet in the desert: Samir Al Fay, a Muslim doctor whose son will be named heir to the Prince of Beirut; and Isaiah Ben Ezra, a grizzled Jewish militant Zionist heading to the Promised Land. The women give birth - Samir's unconscious wife delivers a stillborn girl, Ben Ezra's wife dies delivering a healthy boy.

Being a space pirate can be complicated… Ben and Lois are closer to reuniting Bubbles with her long-lost alien mother, but just because they're closer doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. They must face off against an army of spiderbots, killer mushrooms, and a colossal cave monster the...

Can the worst pirate ever find his way home from the Island of No Return? My stupid brother has tricked me into the worst holiday ever… on the Island of No Return. I’m stuck herewith just a chicken for company unless I can find some treasure – then Blackbeard says he will come and get me...

Can the worst pirate ever win the Pirate of the Year Award…? Mum is making me take part in the stupid Pirate of the Year Award. All I have to do is fight an enormous sea monster, (doom), beat my oh-so-brilliant brother at something (please please please) and find the legendary treasure that no...

Set sail with the funniest pirate on the seven seas in this hilarious adventure for readers of 7+. Pirate Blunderbeard is on a voyage with his cousin Redruth and Grandpa Greybeard. Blunderbeard hopes it will be like a holiday cruise, ice-cream, deck chairs and maybe a bit of swimming. But...

Santa is an alien and Christmas is in crisis. Ben and the crew are one step closer to reuniting their orphaned Viraquin with her mother. All they need now is a little information. When they arrive the planet is under attack. Santa’s deployment to Earth is in jeopardy and the consequences for...

In 1860, a sloop drifted into New York Harbor. Not a soul on board - just blood from cabin to deck. Looted coins led to Bowery thug Albert Hicks, the ax slayer who turned his shipmates into chum. His crimes were absolutely fiendish. His execution was pure ballyhoo. It drew nearly ten thousand bloodthirsty sightseers to the city - including the enterprising showman P. T. Barnum. Refreshments were served as the most notorious and unrepentant mass murderer of the era made history as one of America’s first celebrity killers.

NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE Adventure? Yes, more than one! Derring-do? Yes! Storms? Sea monsters? Rival pirates? Of course! Cameos by frequently anachronistic historical figures? You betcha! All that and more. Not since Moby-Dick. . . . No, not since Treasure Island. . . . Actually, not since...

Bloomsbury presents Pirates of Darksea by Catherine Doyle, read by Patrick Moy. ‘Utterly brilliant. Sensationally swashbuckling. Completely magical’ – A.F Steadman, author of Skandar and the Unicorn Thief From the award-winning author of The Storm Keeper's Island, set sail on Catherine...

In Gideon Defoe’s fifth Pirates! adventure, the dashing Pirate Captain and his intrepid crew encounter perhaps the most swashbuckling poets in history: Lord Byron, Percy Bysshe Shelley, and Shelley’s fiancée, Mary Godwin. While visiting the shores of Lake Geneva to restore their...

When super-famous actor Jolly Roger comes to make a movie on Crossbones Island, Pirate Blunderbeard is determined to get the main part. He just has to convince Jolly that his pet chicken, Boris, is a parrot (oh dear), act alongside an evil Giant DeathClaw Lobster (eek!) and beat his crafty brother Blackbeard to the lead role.... What could possibly go wrong? Pirate Blunderbeard might be in the worst movie ever, but it’s also the funniest. 

There will be plenty of time for me to beat him soundly once I've gotten what I came for. Sent on a mission to retrieve an ancient hidden map—the key to a legendary treasure trove—seventeen-year-old pirate captain Alosa deliberately allows herself to be captured by her enemies, giving her...

Who knew babysitting an alien would be so hard? Ben and the crew have set course for an alien planet, but the inhabitants are far from what they expected. They have answers that could get their baby Viraquin home but Ben isn’t sure he’s willing to pay the price for the well guarded secret...

They’re back!!! The Pirate Captain and his irascible crew of scoundrels return in their soggiest saga yet.Fresh from their mishaps with Charles Darwin and the evil Bishop of Oxford, the Pirates set sail in a bouncy new vessel——purchased on credit. In order to repay his debts, the Pirate...

Pirates of the Caribbean meets The Mummy in Vengeance of the Pirate Queen, a new standalone YA fantasy romance, set in the world of Tricia Levenseller's Daughter of the Pirate King. As an assassin working for the pirate queen, 18-year-old Sorinda is surprised when Alosa’s next task for her is...

"A skillful narration of this story, especially its humor, makes this a fun and enjoyable performance" —AudioFile on Can't Spell Treason Without Tea Bookshops & Bonedust meets Our Flag Means Death in this cozy fantasy on the low seas, where lesbian pirates find out if enemies actually can...

Not since Moby-Dick...No, not since Treasure Island...Actually, not since Jonah and the Whale has there been a sea saga to rival The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists, featuring the greatest sea-faring hero of all time, the immortal Pirate Captain, who, although he lives for months at a...

In the tradition of Blow and Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, The Last Pirate is a vivid, haunting and often hilarious memoir recounting the life of Big Tony, a family man who joined the biggest pot ring of the Reagan era and exploded his life in the process. Three decades later, his son...