Showing results for "Crossroads" in Comedy & Humour

IT is big. IT is ugly. IT has a heat ray and a bad disposition. IT is, in short, the worst thing to happen to New Jersey since the last election. Nothing can stop IT. Not the army. Not the scientist. Not the preacher. Not even a cute little girl and her dog. Only one man can save us all.... Kent Montana.

Lenny Hodge is a young man with certain abilities - special talents that even he doesn't understand. It is only when he joins Terrifitemps (the temporary employment agency that secretly controls the world) and meets his new team - a psychic, a vampire, a ghost hunter, and a werevole (yes, a werevole) - that Lenny realizes how much his special talent will put him in jeopardy. But it's worth it, right? Hasn't Lenny always wanted to save the world?

Roger Gordon's life was dull until a Captain Crusader Decoder Ring unlocked a door to the world of B-movies. Now his life is filled with adventure as he frolics through the silver screen's weirdest westerns, thrillers, and romances.

Gideon Sunday, an ex-semi-professional American Football player, goes to his pantry to retrieve an awful bottle of his (dead) sister's fruit preserves. When he gets there, he discovers a meadow in his pantry. He closes the door, takes a few breaths, and begins to investigate. Upon discovering that A) no one is playing a trick on him, B) there really IS a meadow in his cupboard, and C) there is something three-quarters of ugly coming out of it, he decides to beat a monster to death with a baseball bat.

The twin sons of Harry Keogh, the Necroscope, have taken very different paths. Nathan as his father's powers - to talk to the dead, to travel instantly through space. Like Harry, this new Necroscope fights evil wherever he finds it. His twin, Nestor, has become the most horrifying evil imaginable: a shape-shifting, blood sucking Wamphyi Lord! Devoid of human feeling, Nestor and his companion, the beautiful, malevolent Wratha the Risen, hunt without mercy.

H. J. Mavity, painter of paperback romance covers, has a perplexing riddle to solve when her ex-boyfriend, Rick Dell, collapses at her feet after telling her that the words "ninety-nine clop clop" hold the clue to a lot of money. Although Dell has clearly been murdered, H. J.'s avarice gets the better of her and she determines to risk the ire of whoever has killed Dell to go after the money. First, however, she must understand the riddle and who better to help her than her ex-husband, Ben Spanner, a gifted mimic whose voice is known to millions through TV and radio commercials.

To his neighbors in the sleepy hamlet of Inverness, New Jersey, Lincoln Blackthorne is a tailor. Far from major population centers, highways, airports, or trains, Inverness is just about the last place you’d expect to find an international soldier of fortune and treasure hunter. But that’s exactly what Blackthorne is - one of the best - and he’s about to embark on his most dangerous journey: the quest for a priceless work of art, a deadly magical talisman, an object of dire arcane power.

In today’s world, it seems like it is becoming ever more important to figure out how to laugh. Society today seems always to be so serious and doesn’t make time for the most important things - like laughing with your friends and family over a few good jokes. So make your life more enjoyable and dive into jokes you haven’t heard of before!

An irresistibly moving, funny and urgent memoir about the reality of caring for your parents, when you can barely care for yourself. 'Moving and real, as well as splutter-your-tea funny' – Miranda Sawyer It was the kind of phone call we all dread. Your elderly father has been admitted to...

Our Cinderellas, male and female, who put up with the scruffy-ness of life while striving to make it through their various personal seaside fogs. Theater; art; antiques; old movies; sex; more sex; death; fast and slow cars, chicken shit and cow poop; military bearing and erotic emissions-not to mention the wicked witch, the sea serpent by the sea shore, the village ogre, the village idiot, and several Prince Charmings-all figure into this merry tale with a multitude of happy endings.

When the legal system has disappointed, humbled, and humiliated you, there is still one arrow in your quiver. Call the Shortcut Man. Dick Henry, the Shortcut Man, is a purveyor of unlicensed, unofficial, and unauthorized justice. In Ipso Fatso, Dick follows the breadcrumbs leading into the lofty halls of power and influence in Los Angeles. Once there, Dick achieves the unexpected, but along the way settles a variety of scores and puts a number of bad guys in touch with their inner child.

A law-student stripper, two inept hitmen, the First Church of Elvis, Scientist, and a small-time mobster's biggest scam... Things are about to get all shook up in this hilarious novel filled with explosions, attempted murder, intrigue, and a whole lot more.

The Patch of the Odin Soldier marks the return to action of the intrepid and irrepressible Lincoln Blackthorne. Rambo, Woody Allen, and Indiana Jones all rolled into one, he’s a reluctant adventurer and soldier of fortune who masquerades as a mild-mannered New Jersey tailor. Although he’d rather be home taking the measure of a new suit, there’s always some new high-tech, high-powered criminal ready to take measure of him.

Don't look now, but a mad scientist has discovered the secret of (temporary) invisibility. He's not planning to sneak into the movies, either. He's mad, remember? He wants...revenge! It doesn't take a genius to see right through the faded fiend's transparent scheme: a festival of murder, destruction, and cheap practical jokes. But only one man can clean those unsightly stains on the fabric of society.... Kent Montana. He's the descendant of Scottish nobility, or so he claims.

The Dirty Parts of the Bible is a humorous adventure across America during the Great Depression - a rollicking tale of love and liquor, preachers and prostitutes, trains and treasure, sure to appeal to fans of O Brother Where Art Thou?, Water for Elephants, Mark Twain, Willie Nelson, and Johnny Cash. It's 1936, and Tobias Henry is stuck in the frozen hinterlands of Michigan. Tobias is obsessed with two things: God and girls. Mostly girls, of course. But being a Baptist preacher's son, he can't escape God.

Farmer Eben Smith heads off to the big city to trade his wagonload of produce. But he barters a lot more than goods after he stumbles across a strange crossroads in time, bargains with different cultures in alternate realities, and accidentally wreaks havoc and chaos in each.

Lenny Hodge and his supernatural team are once again called on by Terrifitemps (the temporary employment agency that secretly controls the world) to save the Earth from a dire fate! The sinister Grubnoids have appeared from deep beneath the surface of our world, ready to fulfill their destiny! The Grubnoids plan to recreate every television show ever broadcast, and they will use the entire population of Earth as their unwilling puppets! Will Lenny and his talented team save the day? Or will the entire population of our planet become part of a game show that never ends?

Down on the bayou, folks called the creature Zergopha. It had been around for quite a spell, slithering through the swamp, chowing down on the odd tourist here and there. Lately, though, it seemed to be after something more than a one-night snack. Affection, maybe. Possibly even...commitment. Now it's spring, and an immortal monster's bizarre fancy has turned to thoughts of weird love. Only one man is the unlucky object of Zergopha's affections.... Kent Montana.

The housing market is depressed. But not as depressed as anyone who spends a night at 668 Langford Place. The decaying mansion next door - number 666 - will soon see the return of Bog-Muggoth, an ancient, evil demon that makes the Amityville Horror seem like Casper the Friendly Ghost. But Bog-Muggoth isn’t making his haunted house call alone. Other vile gods from beyond time and space will be joining in the festivities to make the world their oyster - and leave it an empty shell.

Welcome to the world of John McIlveen. Enter, please, but be warned...here you will find tales that blur the lines of horror, vengeance, humor, sorrow, and humanity. You will encounter broken people with dark secrets and darker desires. You will experience the foulest parts of humanity, as well as the funniest and sweetest. Some of these stories will make you laugh, some will anger or shock you, but all of them will affect you. You will love, hate, and sympathize with the characters, possibly at the same time.