Six weeks ago Deanna said she was doing a Packing Party. Everything stays in boxes, you only take out what you need.

She quit.

In this episode she gives you the real numbers, walks you through the entire declutter pile, and tells you the part she didn't see coming: she and one of her family members traded methods without ever discussing it.

The numbers: 42 boxes and bins unpacked. Six still packed. One of them hasn't been opened since moving day and won't be for six months.

What she was actually after: margin. Open space on purpose in every drawer, on every shelf, on every flat surface. A drawer with margin still has your things in it. There's just air around them. Start at 5% if you have to.

Margin in your calendar, your budget, and your brain too.

Also in this episode: why she's keeping four rolls of Scotch tape on purpose, the 16 IKEA mirrors that never got hung in two different garages, a listener tip about electronics recycling, and an honest conversation about the hardest room in her house and the mom guilt underneath it.

Your challenge: Pick one drawer. Take out enough that you can see space around your objects. Close it. Open it tomorrow and notice how it feels.

Mentioned: Tindy at tindy.app, Dana K. White's container concept, Dawn at The Minimal Mom on margin.

Coming this week on YouTube: Deanna empties her pause box on camera, item by item. @wannabeclutterfree

Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/333

Do you feel exhausted and overwhelmed, even when everything looks fine on the outside? Your home might be feeling it too.

Megan Caldwell is a mom of three, a two-time burnout survivor, and the creator of the ROCKSTAR Mom Method. She joins me to talk about why balance is BS, why moms need to put themselves first, and how the tiniest actions lead to real, lasting change in your life and your home.

In this episode, we talk about:

• How clutter and burnout feed each other
• Why Megan wants moms to put themselves first
• Why balance is BS, and why alignment and harmony work better
• What losing 98% of her belongings in a house fire taught her about calm
• Her three phases of change: awareness, decide, practice
• Minimal viable actions, the smallest steps that build momentum
• What clutter free means to Megan

Your minimal viable action for your home: a 10-minute tidy tonight. Tindy gives you a nightly 10-minute Lightning Tidy with a timer and streaks. Try it free: https://tindy.app

The ROCKSTAR Mom Summit starts Tuesday, October 27, and it's free. I'm one of the speakers! Grab your free ticket: https://wannabeclutterfree.com/rockstar

Connect with Megan

• Website: https://megancaldwellpdx.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/megancaldwellpdx/
• The ROCKSTAR Mom podcast: https://therockstarmom.buzzsprout.com/

Connect with Deanna

• Full show notes: https://wannabeclutterfree.com/332
• Tindy app: https://tindy.app
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wannabeclutterfree/

Thanks to our sponsors:

• Check out 1-800-GOT-JUNK and use my code 1800gotjunk.com for a great deal: https://www.1800gotjunk.com
• Check out BetterHelp and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com

Boo. It's October.

Thanksgiving is only six weeks away. Christmas is only ten.

Deanna shares the four things she's doing right now so December feels calm, cozy, and intentional instead of frantic. This is her family's first holiday in a brand new house, and her goal is to buy as little as possible.

1. Decisions before decor. Decide how you want your home to feel, then ask what the minimum is to get there. Most of what makes a home cozy is already in it. Plus: why holiday decor should leave your house by the end of October, while a thrift store can still sell it and someone else can still use it.

2. Create your holiday zones. A spot for incoming packages and hidden gifts. A surface for wrapping, crafting, and card writing. Clear counters for baking. And a dining table that isn't buried when people show up.

3. Start the gift conversations. Declutter outgrown toys before new ones arrive, why Thanksgiving is better timing than Christmas for moving them out, and the mindset shift that frees you from gift guilt. Also: how Deanna's family uses a Secret Santa exchange, and why experience gifts are her favorite workaround.

4. Calendar the season now. In pencil. Including asking everyone in your house for their top three must-dos, so you stop doing the things nobody actually enjoys.

Your challenge this week: Spend 30 minutes with your decoration bins. If that's too much, set a timer for ten and open one box. Then come tell Deanna what you found on Instagram @wannabeclutterfree.

These tips aren't specific to any religion. December is a full month for everyone.

Resources Mentioned:

• Clutter Free Holiday Blueprint: https://www.wannabeclutterfree.com/clutter-free-holiday-blueprint
• Try the Tindy App
• Check out 1-800-GOT-JUNK and use my code 1800gotjunk.com for a great deal: https://www.1800gotjunk.com
• Check out BetterHelp and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com

Deanna moved from a 1969 single level house into a home with a second floor and three full bathrooms. Standing in the new kitchen, her first thought wasn't "look at all this space." It was "how am I going to keep up with all of this?"

After a few days she realized she wasn't behind on anything. She had been treating four completely different jobs like one job.

The four jobs:

• Decluttering is deciding what leaves. All decisions, and it takes your whole brain.
• Tidying is putting things back where they already live. No decisions at all.
• Cleaning is dirt. It has nothing to do with how much you own.
• Organizing is deciding where things live. Zones and containers, and it does not have to be pretty.

Three ways mixing them up backfires: you start cleaning the kitchen and end up frozen over a mug. You buy bins before decluttering and end up with organized clutter. You tidy every single night and it never holds, because tidying can't fix a decluttering problem.

You are not bad at this. When you don't name the job, your brain picks for you, and it usually picks the hardest one.

Also in this episode: how to look at a room and diagnose which job it needs, how Deanna's family splits 21 ten-minute cleaning tasks across the week so it doesn't all fall on her, why she's treating her moving boxes like drawers, and the app she had her husband build so the reminders don't live in her head.

Your challenge: Say out loud which job you're doing before you start. Set a timer to match. Ten minutes to tidy, 30 to declutter. If you switch jobs mid-task, put the mug down and finish what you started.

Mentioned: Tindy at tindy.app (Lightning Tidy, Mighty Tidy, and the new Sm'ores), Dana K. White's container concept, episode 329.

Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/330

Two weeks into a new house, Deanna is still living out of boxes on purpose.

She's running a Packing Party, and while she unpacks, she's doing something that matters more than where the dishes go. She's deciding how this house will work before it fills up.

After 17 moves, she knows a house decides how it works in the first few weeks whether you're paying attention or not. So this episode is the three house rules she's putting in place, all built on one framework: if this, then that.

A real rule has two parts. A trigger you'll actually notice, and one action. "Be tidier" isn't a rule. It's a wish with a stern voice.

Rule 1, for the no: If you pick something up and know you don't want it, it goes straight into the donation bin. No setting it back down and deciding all over again next week.

Rule 2, for the surfaces: If you have a flat surface, put a container on it. A tray, a bowl, a basket. The surface isn't the problem. A surface with no boundary is the problem.

Rule 3, for the maybe: If you hesitate, it goes in the Pause Box, with a date on it. One to three months. And check the box before you buy anything new so you don't rebuy what you already own.

Also in this episode: why willpower fails exactly when you need it, why your cluttered house is a decision problem and not a caring problem, where Deanna's donation bins live while they unpack, the console tray, the entry bin, the fruit bowl, and how house hunting got her family on board with clear surfaces.

Your challenge this week: Pick one to three rules. Write them as if this, then that. Say them out loud at dinner tonight and let everyone add one.

Then come tell Deanna your house rules on Instagram @wannabeclutterfree.

Packing Party results coming at the end of October.

Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/329

[Next week: decluttering, tidying, cleaning, and organizing are four different jobs]

Five nights into a brand new house, Deanna is recording from a room full of boxes.

The furniture is up. A few kitchen things are out. Everything else is still packed. And all three members of her family are about to unpack in completely different ways.

In this episode:

• Method 1: The Packing Party (Deanna's). From Ryan Nicodemus of The Minimalists. Whatever is still in a box stays there until she reaches for it. She's giving it one month.
• Method 2: The Traditional Way (her husband's). Open the box, decide on every item, finish it, move on.
• Method 3: The Pause (her daughter's). Unpack what you love now, put the maybes in a box, and revisit them at the end of November.

Also in this episode: why moving feels so heavy even when you own less than most people, how Deanna searched every box she owns in about an hour, the sentimental things that earn their place without being useful, and why she and her husband are ready to pare down even further.

Your challenge this week: Pick the method that sounds most like you and try it on one space. Packing Party: box up a category and only take out what you need for two weeks. Traditional: empty one drawer and decide on every item. The Pause: put away what you love, box up the maybes, and date the box.

Then come tell Deanna which one you picked on Instagram @wannabeclutterfree.

Results episode coming in about a month.

Mentioned:

• Tindy, the nightly 10-minute reset app, at tindy.app
• Check out 1-800-GOT-JUNK and use my code 1800gotjunk.com for a great deal: https://www.1800gotjunk.com
• Check out Omaha Steaks and use my code BEEF for a great deal: https://www.omahasteaks.com
• Check out BetterHelp and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com

Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/328

Deanna Yates thought the hardest part of moving would be the packing.

It wasn't.

Nine weeks ago, her landlord told her family she was selling the house they had rented for almost five years. It was the longest they had lived anywhere, and everyday there felt like winning the lottery. Now they're packing up the whole house in less than a week.

In this solo episode, Deanna shares six mindset shifts from one of the hardest seasons her family has had in a long time. Not one of them is about her closet.

In this episode:

• Shift 1: It's never really about the stuff. Why her uneasiness came from feeling out of control
• Shift 2: Same reach, different bag. How the donation bag and the Add to Cart button come from the same place
• Shift 3: You can't declutter a feeling. What a waiting season teaches someone who likes to take action
• Shift 4: "Just in case" is just fear. The crowded Labor Day showing that flipped her into scarcity mode
• Shift 5: Stop chasing, start trusting. The late-night Zillow message that turned into keys four days later
• Shift 6: Clutter free starts in your head. Let go, create space, release your grip

Plus the question her family is asking about every item they pack.

Try this week: Pick one drawer. Pull everything out. For each item, ask: would I unpack this?

Mentioned in this episode:

How to Change by Katy Milkman

Tindy, the 10-minute nightly tidy app: tindy.app

Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/327

Instagram: @wannabeclutterfree

My clutter threshold broke this year.

I am a decluttering expert. Our house is not cluttered. And I still hit a wall, because we are in the middle of an unplanned move, my husband had back surgery, and I am 46 and doing most of the lifting myself.

That is the exact season I was in when Amy Nesbitt came back on the show, and I am so glad she did.

Amy is a full time corporate working mom of two boys, the creator of the This Japanese American Life YouTube channel, and the host of the Whole Wellness Mamas Summit, now in its fourth year. She is also the person who got me into summits in the first place.

This year she built the summit around four Japanese concepts, and they reframed how I am thinking about my own home.

In this episode:

• Why the popular Venn diagram version of Ikigai misses the point, and what it actually means
• Ma, the concept of intentional empty space, explained through the pause in a song
• Why your empty counter is not wasted space, and why we fight so hard to fill it
• The two minutes you sit in your car before walking in the door, and why that counts
• Kaizen, and why going smaller than feels impressive is the thing that actually sticks
• Kintsugi, the art of gold in the cracks, and why your hardest chapters are not the ones to hide
• How to bring your family into something without becoming the household nag
• Amy's answer for how she does it all, which starts with four words: it does not have to be you

Amy and I are both speaking at the Whole Wellness Mamas Summit, September 14 through 17. It is completely free, completely virtual, and you can watch in whatever you slept in. My session is How to Face the Challenge of Midlife Decluttering, which I am currently living in real time.

Grab your free seat

Show notes: wannabeclutterfree.com/326

Find Amy: Instagram and TikTok: @wholewellnessmamas YouTube: This Japanese American Life Books: AmyNsReads

Find me: Instagram: @wannabeclutterfree Website: wannabeclutterfree.com