Hello and welcome back to Dial Emma! This week, I want to explore why we give some people the power to change our entire mood, without actually doing anything at all.

I want you to think of someone who has the extraordinary ability to ruin your day, just by existing. You’ve slept well, you’ve got things done, and then you see their name on your phone or their car outside, and suddenly your entire mood changes. They might not have said a word, and you’re already irritated. Why does one person have the power to change how we feel so dramatically, and how do we share a world with someone without having our experience of it dominated by them?

Today’s dilemma comes from a listener I’m calling Sarah. She’s been married for around 20 years, but the difficulty comes with her husband’s sister, Laura. Sarah has never particularly liked her, and over the years Laura has said things Sarah experienced as belittling or unkind. For a long time they didn’t see each other much. Then Laura and her husband moved to the same town, and their lives began to overlap in schools, clubs, and community events. Sarah has stopped going to things she enjoyed because Laura turned up, and now she’s wondering whether she needs to move away from a town she loves.

Sarah's question is this: is there a way to feel better, or is the only solution to leave?

Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.

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Hello and welcome back to Dial Emma! This week, I want to talk about something I suspect many of us experience but aren’t especially proud of: finding other people really, really annoying.

I don’t mean the obviously rude or provocative ones. I mean the perfectly pleasant friend who sends a seven-minute voice note when you asked a yes-or-no question, the colleague who begins with “can I just ask you a really quick question?” that you know will be anything but 'quick', or the person who tells you a story you’ve heard several times, and you still have to laugh in the right places.

I do like people. I’ve spent my working life listening to them. But I can still find them annoying, and admit that it feels oddly mean, especially when it’s someone we love. Irritation isn’t very precise. It tells us something is bothering us, but not always what. So in this episode, I want to get curious about what it’s pointing to.

Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.

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Book my 2027 women's retreat at Bliss House in Crete: https://bliss-house-experience.replit.app

Social media:

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Email: contact@dial-emma.uk

This episode has been on my mind for a while, so I want to talk about something I think about a lot: concern. Specifically, the kind of concern that gives us a sense of permission to involve ourselves in somebody else's life. Being attentive to the people around us is a good thing. But I've been thinking about what happens when concern starts to carry an expectation - when the person expressing it begins to feel entitled to an explanation, a response, or a change in somebody else's behaviour, and the person receiving it experiences it not as kindness but as intrusion.

There isn't a single listener dilemma at the centre of this one. Instead I want to pull apart a psychological distinction I think we confuse constantly: the difference between caring about somebody and feeling entitled to influence them.

Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.

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Book my 2027 women's retreat at Bliss House in Crete: https://bliss-house-experience.replit.app

Social media:

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Email: contact@dial-emma.uk