Episodes

  • Road Rage

    Road Rage
    Apr 8 2026
    Yet another episode sponsored in part by MacMillan Audio because they produced Gwenna’s latest book, Thinky Thoughts All Grown Up & Still Just as Confused. You can listen to the full version come April 14th but for now, please enjoy just one more essay. This one is road rage and involves bricks, land boats, cloud-haired women in sensible shoes, and the root of a good chunk of Gwenna’s car-based anxiety. We want to hear from you! Do you have questions, comments, jokes, or anything else you want us to know? Email us: Childproofmail@gmail.com ⁠⁠Preorder Gwenna's new book⁠⁠ Get a free cookbook of bonus recipes inspired by Thinky Thoughts. Free with proof of preorder! ⁠Join our Patreon for pre-show bonus content⁠ Video version of ⁠Childproof available on Youtube ⁠ Be sure to check out our other show ⁠⁠Founded⁠⁠ Childproof is a part of the Airwave Media network. Please contact ⁠advertising@airwavemedia.com⁠ if you would like to advertise on our podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    36 mins
  • Creamed Corn

    Creamed Corn
    Apr 1 2026
    This episode of Childproof is sponsored in part by MacMillan Audio. Gwenna’s new book Thinky Thoughts hits shelves April 14th and MacMillan Audio produced her audiobook. Gwenna will read her own book to you. And you get a sample here on Childproof. Enjoy this complete essay Creamed Corn from Thinky Thoughts: All Grown Up & Still Just as Confused. Is creamed corn a thinly veiled reference to grown up times? No, it’s a blatant reference to that time Gwenna though she could make creamed corn with cream of celery soup. We want to hear from you! Do you have questions, comments, jokes, or anything else you want us to know? Email us: ⁠⁠Childproofmail@gmail.com⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Preorder Gwenna's new book⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get a free cookbook of bonus recipes inspired by Thinky Thoughts. ⁠Free with proof of preorder!⁠ ⁠⁠Join our Patreon for pre-show bonus content⁠⁠ Video version of ⁠⁠Childproof available on Youtube ⁠⁠ Be sure to check out our other show ⁠⁠⁠Founded⁠⁠⁠ Childproof is a part of the Airwave Media network. Please contact ⁠⁠advertising@airwavemedia.com⁠⁠ if you would like to advertise on our podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    40 mins
  • Yeehaw! Email Roundup

    Yeehaw! Email Roundup
    Mar 25 2026
    It’s time for another round of enjoying our mutual parasocial relationships with our listeners! We’ve asked you questions. You’ve answered them. We’re reading some of them. And then using your answers to explore tangents that may or may not have anything to do with anything. At the end of every episode we invite you to email us with questions, suggestions, or things we should know. We shamelessly turn that into episodes. Want to be a part. Email us. We might shamelessly turn it into an episode. We want to hear from you! Do you have questions, comments, jokes, or anything else you want us to know? Email us: Childproofmail@gmail.com ⁠Join our Patreon for pre-show bonus content⁠ Video version of ⁠Childproof available on Youtube ⁠ Be sure to check out our other show ⁠⁠Founded⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Preorder Gwenna's new book⁠⁠ Get a free cookbook of bonus recipes inspired by Thinky Thoughts. Free with proof of preorder! Childproof is a part of the Airwave Media network. Please contact ⁠advertising@airwavemedia.com⁠ if you would like to advertise on our podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    52 mins
  • What Happened?

    What Happened?
    Mar 11 2026
    After a pause. And a break. And a distinct lack of explaining ourselves. And another break. We’re back. This time with an explanation of exactly what happened. The winds of change are blowing and we’re excited to see where they take us all! We want to hear from you! Do you have questions, comments, jokes, or anything else you want us to know? Email us: Childproofmail@gmail.com ⁠Join our Patreon for pre-show bonus content⁠ Video version of ⁠Childproof available on Youtube ⁠ Be sure to check out our other show ⁠⁠Founded⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Preorder Gwenna's new book⁠⁠ Childproof is a part of the Airwave Media network. Please contact ⁠advertising@airwavemedia.com⁠ if you would like to advertise on our podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    48 mins
  • Childproof Untold

    Childproof Untold
    Feb 25 2026
    On this episode of Childproof Gwenna and Tori discuss things. Okay, full disclosure for the seventeen people that read notes and descriptions, we recorded this and then Oklahoma and Kentucky both exploded with influenza. Everyone was sick. Stuff got paused while we all healed. It was rough. No one had any fun. Show notes didn’t get written and by the time they got back to it Gwenna, who writes the descriptions forgot what we talked about and Tori, who edits the episodes cannot be trusted to write descriptions. So now you know this is a podcast hosted and run by two people who have no idea what they are doing and should be better at this by now. We want to hear from you! Do you have questions, comments, jokes, or anything else you want us to know? Email us: Childproofmail@gmail.com ⁠Join our Patreon for pre-show bonus content⁠ Video version of ⁠Childproof available on Youtube ⁠ Be sure to check out our other show ⁠⁠Founded⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Preorder Gwenna's new book⁠⁠ Childproof is a part of the Airwave Media network. Please contact ⁠advertising@airwavemedia.com⁠ if you would like to advertise on our podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    52 mins
  • So Now It's A Problem

    So Now It's A Problem
    Feb 11 2026
    Tori only thought they were losing it. Their snow continues and we decided to scour the internet for what they are saying about parents in the media. Did you know Warren Buffett was a gentle parent? Who knew? And then we spend most of the rest of the episode being very millennial and complaining about a Buzzfeed article. It’s not so much complaining as pointing out how it’s wrong a bunch. So like I said, being very millennial about it. We want to hear from you! Do you have questions, comments, jokes, or anything else you want us to know? Email us: Childproofmail@gmail.com ⁠Join our Patreon for pre-show bonus content⁠ Video version of ⁠Childproof available on Youtube ⁠ Be sure to check out our other show ⁠⁠Founded⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Preorder Gwenna's new book⁠⁠ Childproof is a part of the Airwave Media network. Please contact ⁠advertising@airwavemedia.com⁠ if you would like to advertise on our podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    54 mins
  • Snow Problem

    Snow Problem
    Feb 4 2026
    White people talking about the weather, weird Barbies, transmogrifying spoons, fork licking, crutches, clutter, hoarding, and lying. Somehow that’s all in this episode. Tori and Gwenna have gone stir crazy I. The ale of the winter storm that swept the nation and this episode is the proof of that. We want to hear from you! Do you have questions, comments, jokes, or anything else you want us to know? Email us: Childproofmail@gmail.com ⁠Join our Patreon for pre-show bonus content⁠ Video version of ⁠Childproof available on Youtube ⁠ Be sure to check out our other show ⁠⁠Founded⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Preorder Gwenna's new book⁠⁠ Childproof is a part of the Airwave Media network. Please contact ⁠advertising@airwavemedia.com⁠ if you would like to advertise on our podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    49 mins
  • The Never-Ending January

    The Never-Ending January
    Jan 28 2026
    January is still here. Because it won’t leave. Why won’t it leave? Why does every January seem to last five years? On this episode of childproof Gwenna and Tori discuss snow days and library perks. Art contests and alarm clocks. But mostly we just keeping waiting for January to be done. We want to hear from you! Do you have questions, comments, jokes, or anything else you want us to know? Email us: Childproofmail@gmail.com Join our Patreon for pre-show bonus content Video version of Childproof available on Youtube Be sure to check out our other show ⁠Founded⁠ ⁠Preorder Gwenna's new book⁠ Click here to find the ice cream ball Gwenna mentioned Childproof is a part of the Airwave Media network. Please contact ⁠advertising@airwavemedia.com⁠ if you would like to advertise on our podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
    Show More Show Less
    56 mins