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Childproof

Childproof

By: Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom
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Parenting is hard, but it's even harder when you feel alone and have only the sounds of Cocomelon to keep you company. Childproof is a parenting chat show for when you’re craving adult conversation. As parents to three kids each, co-hosts Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom have been there. They know that sometimes our kids are the ones on the verge of a tantrum, and that sometimes it’s us. Childproof attempts to figure out the dos, don’ts, and f*ck its of modern parenthood. From yelling at your kids (we’ve all done it) to finding a sleep schedule that doesn’t ruin your life, Gwenna and Tori share the challenges they’ve faced and the lessons they’ve learned, and are eager to share their experiences through a mix of one-on-one conversations, guest appearances, and input from listeners revealing their own parenting secrets. Clearly, we could use some help from everyone and their mother.Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom Parenting & Families Relationships
Episodes
  • Parenting Linguistics?
    Sep 23 2026
    Do you call it a trolley, a buggy, or a cart? Soda, pop, or coke? On this episode of Childproof we discuss language quirks, regional dialects, and, just for a little bit, remember this is a parenting podcast and somehow pigeonhole our random off-topic wanderings back into the parenting communication sphere. If your kid is developing an accent, do you teach them a neutral pronunciation anyway? We want to hear from you! Do you have questions, comments, jokes, or anything else you want us to know? Email us: Childproofmail@gmail.com ⁠Join our Patreon for pre-show bonus content⁠ Video version of ⁠Childproof available on Youtube ⁠ Be sure to check out our other show ⁠⁠Founded⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    49 mins
  • Into The School Year
    Sep 9 2026
    Ever feel like the days bleed together and you’re not sure how time works anymore? That’s how Tori and Gwenna felt most of the summer. Tuesday? What is that? Feels fake. But now that school is back in session, time has gone less wibbly wobbly. It’s not making more sense because it’s still kids and those, generally speaking, rarely make sense. (Well, by adult standards anyway, but we aren’t ready for that conversation…). Also for the record, Gwenna would like it known these Show descriptions have begun to blur and she no longer knows what she’s supposed to be doing with them. Hence this one looking like…*this*? We want to hear from you! Do you have questions, comments, jokes, or anything else you want us to know? Email us: Childproofmail@gmail.com ⁠Join our Patreon for pre-show bonus content⁠ Video version of ⁠Childproof available on Youtube ⁠ Be sure to check out our other show ⁠⁠Founded⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    54 mins
  • Are We Raising Villains?
    Aug 26 2026
    On this episode of Childproof, Parasocial Parenting, we discuss if our kids are actually growing up to be villains and how to successfully tell our children they actually suck. (Well, not that they suck but that their book is really very bad.) There’s a muddy bit in the beginning where we distracted ourselves with weather but if you slog through that bit, it gets better. We want to hear from you! Do you have questions, comments, jokes, or anything else you want us to know? Email us: Childproofmail@gmail.com ⁠Join our Patreon for pre-show bonus content⁠ Video version of ⁠Childproof available on Youtube ⁠ Be sure to check out our other show ⁠⁠Founded⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    46 mins
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