I am sorry to say that the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all.

Like a car alarm, bagpipe music, or a doorbell ringing in the middle of the night, hearing this all-new audio edition of The Bad Beginning will only upset you. This unique multi-voice recording brings the first book in Lemony Snicket's alarming A Series of Unfortunate Events to such terrible life that no one should really have to experience it.

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school.

Like the previous books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be heard here but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose something else to listen to.

Nobody in their right minds would listen to this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay at the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and dreadfully recorded on this program.

Like handshakes or housepets, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up, and down, a range of strange and distressing mountains.

The word "carnivorous", which appears in the title of this book, means "meat-eating", and once you have read such a bloodthirsty word, there is no reason to read any further. This carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal.

Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to listen to this audiobook, in which the Baudelaire siblings descend into the depths of despair, underwater. The horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and include mushrooms, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing.

Lemony Snicket returns with the last book before the last book of his New York Times best-selling A Series of Unfortunate Events.

You are presumably looking here for clues to the shocking conclusion of this terminal audiobook, or the ending of the end. The end of the end is the best place to begin the end, because if you listen to the end from the beginning of the beginning of the end to the end of the end of the end, you will arrive at the end of the end of your rope.

Fly into a fiery and fantastical future with number one best-selling author David Walliams, in an epic adventure of myth and legend, good and evil, and one small boy who must save the world.... It is 2120 and London is in ruins. The young Prince Alfred has never known a life outside Buckingham Palace – but when strange goings-on breach its walls and stalk the corridors in the dead of night, he is thrust into a world of mystery, adventure and monsters.

There is a great disturbance in the Force. From the sleek ships of the glimmering Coruscant skyscape to the lush gardens of pastoral Naboo, dissent is roiling. The Republic is failing, even under the leadership of Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, elected 10 years earlier to save the crumbling government. Separatists threaten war, and the Senate is hopelessly divided, unable to determine whether to raise an army for battle or keep the fragile peace.

Is Lemony Snicket a detective or a smoke detector? Do you smell smoke? Young apprentice Lemony Snicket is investigating a case of arson but soon finds himself enveloped in the ever-increasing mystery that haunts the town of Stain'd-by-the-Sea. Who is setting the fires? What secrets are hidden in the Department of Education? Why are so many schoolchildren in danger? Is it all the work of the notorious villain Hangfire? How could you even ask that?

H.I.V.E. is a top-secret school of villainy, where children with a precocious talent for wrongdoing are sent to develop their talents and become criminal masterminds. After all, "Villains have the best lines and wear the best costumes."

Myrtle Meek has everything she could possibly want. But everything isn’t enough. She wants more, more, MORE! When Myrtle declares she wants a FING, there’s only one problem.... What is a FING? Mr and Mrs Meek will do anything to keep their darling daughter happy, even visit the spooky library vaults to delve into the dusty pages of the mysterious Monsterpedia. Their desperate quest leads to the depths of the jungliest jungle where the rarest creatures can be found. But will they ever find a FING?