very helpful for suicide survivors

I found this very helpful and cathartic after a colleague committed suicide. very good

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Insightful, highly recommended

Insightful and useful book for me as trainee counsellor and bereavement supporter.
The narration by the author was monotonous and a bit rushed at the same time, particularly when she is reading other survivors accounts. There were no pause between stories, so sometimes it was confusing where one story ends and another starts.

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2 people found this helpful

Finally, some comfort

This book was recommended to me by my grievance councillor following the suicide of my best friend. I never for one moment thought it would help me, let alone discover that what I was experiencing was all too common amongst suicide survivors. It has really helped me feel a unity with anyone who's loved one has taken their own life. It makes you realise you're not alone and the feelings you are experiencing are normal. There's nothing more harrowing than suicide so for your loved one to kill themselves, you need all the support you can find. This book helped me to feel normal again x

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1 person found this helpful

Great companion for recovery after suicide

I admire the very personal, delicate, gentle and honest way it has been written. It gives you hope, courage and most of all validation for your thoughts and feelings, that you are not crazy and you are not alone. I could not but listen it through in one go (as much as possible). I cried and I smiled because of recognition. It was a huge releif to get validation for my feelings and reactions. It also offers great insight into understanding the other members of my family who reacted very different from me, And that brings reconciliation and forgiveness. This book has been one of the major factors of my recovery and the bond that the lived experience of suicide loss does create is experience even through a book. I am enormously grateful for the author of being there and sharing her story and stories of many others who have lost a loved-one to suicide. Instead of seeing myself as a total loser of failure because of the suicide of my beloved father, I now see myself as almost a hero - because 30 years later I understand how incredibly difficult thing I had to go through as a child and mostly on my own because of the secrecy and silence in the family caused by the shame and stigma of the society. But as other suvivors, the amazing thing is against all odds, I did survive. My only wish is that no one would have to go through this alone as I did - and Carla's book is a wonderful help in that.

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Helpful book

Interesting read & helped with the grief of losing my dad to suicide. She captures all the emotions and thoughts I had & attempted to provide answers to some of the many questions.

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1 person found this helpful

Poignant, compassionate and hugely helpful for those affected by suicide

When someone we love takes their own life, it leaves those left behind with more questions than answers, more guilt than if it had been by natural causes, more grief because we couldn't save them. At such a time of the deepest pain imaginable due to such a sudden and sometimes unexpected loss, we need compassion, love and understanding though these caring attributes are often withheld due to the stigma and misunderstanding associated with suicide.

It is also wholly unhelpful that it has for way too long been considered as a selfish act, a crime, an act against religion etc. So much so that at funerals and burials, the person we love who has died by their own hand, they are not permitted entry into a place of 'holiness' or to be buried among other residents of a cemetery. It is as if they are considered unclean or evil and their presence risks tarnishing others. These beliefs are borne of ignorance and fear. They are inhumane.

Suicide is the desperate act of someone who can find no peace in living. It is often the only option they think that is left for them.

This book offers those navigating their way through life after suicide a place of sanctuary, of understanding, of hope, support and non-judgement.

Even if so far in your life this hasn't happened to you, this book will teach you what you need to know should such an event occur, which of course I hope it never does. We need to talk about it more, allow those suffering from such a loss, our time, listening ears, hugs and hearts.

Mental illness and suicide happens all around us and we just have to take time to notice. We may not be able to prevent a suicide if someone is determined to execute it, but if it's talked about more openly like it's not something of shame, there's an opportunity for us to prevent it, and also understand the fallout of it so we can take care of those who are left behind.

Thank you Carla Fine for sharing your personal experience and thank you also to those of you whose stories you have bravely shared. It has been a deeply meaningful, enlightening and moving read.

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This made me feel not alone.

Sad but unfortunately relatable. This story makes you see that your story isn’t the only story. You are not alone as a survivor of suicide, and you will get through it.

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