The Non-Monogamy Playbook cover art

The Non-Monogamy Playbook

Exploring Polyamory and Open Relationships with Confidence

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The Non-Monogamy Playbook

By: Ruby Rare
Narrated by: Ruby Rare
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

The Non-Monogamy Playbook is the handbook for anyone curious about consensual non-monogamy: polyamory and open relationships.

This is a practical, joyful guide to the rules of non-traditional relationships. It uncovers the long history of non-monogamy, and explores why society today still favours monogamous, heteronormative relationships as gold standard.

Ruby's weaves in her own relationship learnings with humour and empathy, and offers empowering tools for dealing with the complexities - and joys - of polyamory. She provides expert but sisterly advice on setting boundaries and cultivating self-compassion, as well as ways to navigate the myriad practical considerations of sustaining multiple relationships.

The Non-Monogamy Playbook shows us that there's joy in having multiple people in your life (platonic, sexy, romantic), but with each connection there is added vulnerability. This is the ultimate modern guide to non-monogamy, helping you create confident, healthy relationships.

©2025 Ruby Rare (P)2025 Penguin Audio Gender Studies Love, Dating & Attraction Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships Personal Development Relationships Social Sciences

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Most relevant
Ruby Rare's insightful book is a must read for anyone who is interested in the world of Polyamory and relationship anarchy. Although clearly aimed more at people who are new to the concept, there's easily enough here for everyone to sink their teeth into. With her witty and conversational writing style, this is easily something accessible to anyone. I cannot recommend it enough!

The best Polyam book for beginners!

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This book is everything, and has been such a great tool to help me understand myself and function better together with the people around me. It's interesting, capturing and thought provoking, and though it mainly focuses on the poly perspective, a lot of what this book talks about I believe could also help a lot of mono people become more secure in their relationships. Or if you as a mono person simply want to understand and communicate better with your poly friend. This is from now on the first book I will recommend to anyone who's interested in working on their communication and reflecting on their relationship with themselves and how that impacts the relationships you have with everyone around you

A thought provoking book everyone should read, regardless of you being poly or mono!

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I absolutely loved this audiobook. Ruby’s voice is warm, wise and wickedly funny. The first section is a perfect intro, clear and affirming and full of those “ohhh, it’s not just me then” moments. The third section is pure gold, super useful from all sorts of perspectives, whether you’re brand new or knee-deep in NRE spirals.

I really hope there’s a second book. I’d love something that goes into family and children dynamics, and how to tell friends and family who aren’t exactly Ruby’s incredibly wise parents. A whole section on friendship would be lush too, especially how to stay friends while also being sexy friends.

If I had one gripe, it’s that it ends on endings. Important, yes, but quite a heavy way to close. Imagine if endings came in the middle, subverting the usual “arc of a relationship,” and the final section lifted us back up into threesomes, moresomes and what blooms after. That would feel deliciously hopeful.

Still, this book overflows with abundance, and that’s the bit I’ll carry forward. It’s already helped me understand myself better, and it was such a relief to hear all this from a British sensibility instead of the usual American tone. I just want more, more, more: deeper, wider, funnier.

affirming, useful and funny

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