Showing results by narrator "Mathew" in All Categories

William de Worde is the accidental editor of the Discworld's first newspaper. Now he must cope with the traditional perils of a journalist's life - people who want him dead, a recovering vampire with a suicidal fascination for flash photography, some more people who want him dead in a different...

Happy face or sad face? The future of Tom’s school trip depends on an emoji! Welcome back to the amazing world of Tom Gates! But right now, it’s not looking quite as amazing as usual. Tom’s trying really hard to stay out of trouble. But he’s got three sad faces on the school achievement chart. Just one more sad face means Mr Fullerman will ban him from the school trip. Moany Marcus is making things worse. And now Tom’s upset his grumpy sister Delia.

Q: Who wants their five star funny story included in Oakfield School's story book? A: Everyone! But what will Tom write about? Inspiration strikes when he looks at his excellent collection of odd objects and remembers the funny stories behind each one. Starting with Great Great Aunt Aggie's fake bird hat, the weird stone with a hole and his very special doodle pen. Marcus wants to write about Tom (which is annoying), Amy's got a funny poem and Norman's story is all about...cheese. But Mr Fullerman can only choose the five star stories – will Tom get his work in on time?

This is the art box of my DREAMS. Earning extra pocket money to buy it will be TRICKY. I’ll need to HELP OUT a LOT. Wash Delia’s clothes? Why not. Clean Dad’s shed? Yes, please! Sweep up the leaves? No problem! But when a HUGE STORM hits Oakfield Town and wrecks the library roof, a big campaign begins to FIX IT FAST. Can our school reach the target before the kids from Great Manor? Hmmm...eventually.

Oh no! Tom's stuck at home with a fractured ankle, and it's spoiling his fun. Doodling on his plaster cast helps to pass the time, along with visits from family (with treats), friends and even Rooster managing to sneak in. Tom remembers other fun times he's had, like metal detecting with Uncle Kevin and the cousins or inventing a new secret language with Derek. But only one thing will cheer Tom up - a caramel doughnut from the new bakery...trouble is, every other kid in town keeps getting there before him!

Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork - not the old fashioned, grubby pushing and shoving but the new, fast football with pointy hats for goalposts and balls that go gloing when you drop them. And now, the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match, without using magic, so they're in the mood for trying everything else. The prospect of the Big Match draws in a street urchin with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can, a maker of jolly good pies, a dim but beautiful young woman who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there has ever been, and the mysterious Mr Nutt.

A laugh-out-loud collection of stories starring Tom Gates and his friends, family and foes! Featuring: 'A Delicious Chicken Pie', 'Getting Stuck in a Lift with Delia', 'A Teacher Swap at School', 'Some Tiny Ants in Tiny Pants' and 'The Adventures of Wafer Boy'.

Norman's told the whole school that DogZombies have a NEW SONG and a NEW LOOK for the BIG end of term party. But the problem is ... they don't. Will Tom make it to Leroy's party on time? Is dressing as a dolphin with a blue face a good idea?

Tom Gates is Ha! Ha! HILARIOUS! He's created a brand new comic Ants in Pants to make everyone (even Delia) laugh. Inspiration for his new comic is everywhere! There's Mr Keen's unicycle mishap and their NEW supply teacher Miss Jam (whose first name is NOT Strawberry or Traffic – but it should be). Class 5F LOVE Miss Jam's lessons. Mr Fullerman, not so much. BUT when Tom's comic falls into the wrong hands, everything starts to go wrong. HOW will he get himself out of this MESS? How will he make everyone laugh again? Will Marcus help him out? Hmmm ... maybe.

No player has been more synonymous with the glory years of Manchester United Football Club over the past two decades than right-back Gary Neville. An Old Trafford regular since he attended his first match at the age of six, captain of the brilliant 1992 FA Youth Cup-winning team that became known as 'Fergie's Fledglings', outspoken representative of MUFC, Neville is the ultimate one-club man. He has been at the heart of it all, and he is telling it all.

On Sunday, February 3rd 1990, seven-year-old Danny Redpath disappeared from his home. Four months later, his body was found in the nearby forest, washed clean of all evidence. Over time, more bodies were discovered; more families devastated forever. Apprehended while attempting to abduct another child, Jonathan Egan-Walsh was charged with the murders of thirteen boys. Convicted on all counts, he received life in prison and went unrepentant, still refusing to reveal the whereabouts of one of his victims, Zachery Marshall.

From Alex T. Smith, bestselling author of the Claude series, comes How Winston Delivered Christmas – the irresistible story of the brave little mouse who sets out on an adventure on Christmas Eve. Winston the mouse is on a Very Important Mission. On Christmas Eve, he finds a letter that has...

When Stuart is made redundant from his post as an advisor at Rayleigh Job Centre, he finds it hard to let go. Losing his job is tough enough, but worse than that is losing his chance of finally forging a relationship with his colleague, senior job seeker Nicola, who he's been yearning for ever since their one-night stand seven years ago. Queuing up to sign on, he finds himself reunited with his old school mates Joe and Terry, who he thought he outgrew years ago. They're delighted to have him back in their gang and are soon far too busy to find a job.

Twitter hero James Felton brings you the painfully funny history of Britain you were never taught at school, chronicling 52 of the most ludicrous, weird and downright 'baddie' things we British* have done to the world since time immemorial - and then conveniently forgot all about, of course.

The ultimate audiobook of, well, everything you would want to find in another hilarious Tom Gates audiobook by the amazing Liz Pichon. What’s this one about? Everything! Packed with brand new activities, makes and stories and unique Tom Gates stuff to do which will keep you busy all year round.

The hilarious SEVENTH BOOK in Sue Townsend's bestselling series, sees Adrian fall in love, be inconvenienced by the war and face his new nemesis: a swan from the local canal . . . Wednesday April 2nd My birthday. I am thirty-five today. I am officially middle-aged. It is all downhill from now. A...

Hurray - it’s half term! A lovely week off school, with all sorts of cool things to do. Oh no! It’s half term, but Tom’s mum and dad forgot about it and have absolutely nothing planned. Oops. But hey - when it comes to keeping busy, Tom is never stuck for ideas. So he’s created his own cool book of amazing stuff to do! A week of doodling, stories, activities and mayhem with Tom and the gang. Farewell, boredom!

The bold, funny, and taboo-busting guide to the menopause for women who can’t slow down – from entrepreneur and menopause ambassador Meg Matthews. When Meg Mathews hit menopause, she was shocked by the lack of awareness, understanding and support available to women – and found much of the...

An inspirational toolkit for solo living - full of sound, practical advice, warmth and humour. Whether you view living alone as the ultimate compromise or the ultimate luxury, it presents daily challenges, such as cooking for one, organising holidays, juggling finances and avoiding the siren call of wine, Ugg boots and Netflix. And there are the less tangible tests, like nailing the octopus of loneliness to the wall and holding your head high in a society where solo living is viewed (consciously or not) as the runner-up prize.

Brought to you by Penguin. Join Douglas Adams, bestselling and beloved author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and zoologist Mark Carwardine on an adventure in search of the world’s most endangered and exotic creatures. In this book, Adams’ self-proclaimed favourite of his own...