Showing results by author "Dustin Gross" in All Categories

Some places are older than the people who find them. Some secrets are worth keeping forever. When nine-year-old Pip Warren is sent to spend the summer at his grandmother's farm, he expects eight weeks of nothing. Instead, he finds a gap in a fence, a meadow that doesn't quite belong to the ordinary world, and a rabbit with one white ear who is waiting — very patiently — for exactly the right person to come along.

One glowing acorn. Two best friends. A whole world of magic waiting to be heard. Eight-year-old Freddie Butterfield thought summer in the quiet village of Willowbrook would be all about ham sandwiches and games of hide-and-seek. But when he discovers a shimmering, golden acorn nestled among the roots of an ancient oak, the ordinary world disappears.

Planning a trip to Japan? Ditch the boring guidebooks and download the only Tokyo travel book that tells you what REALLY happens when you step into the neon chaos of Japan’s capital.

There's something different about the new headteacher. Priya Mehta is going to find out what. When Mr. Badger arrives at Sycamore Lane Primary School on a Monday in September, ten-year-old Priya notices three things immediately: he predicts the rain to the exact minute, his shoes are spotless on a muddy morning, and his nose moves in a way that isn't quite human. She opens her green notebook and begins THE INVESTIGATION—DAY ONE.

Dive into the wild, sacred, and scandalous 2,000-year saga of the Catholic Church with The Keys of Heaven and the Sins of Earth by Dustin Gross—a brutally honest history that pulls no punches. From catacombs to cathedrals, this book uncovers the Church’s greatest hits and darkest misses: saintly heroes like Oscar Romero, power-hungry popes plotting like mob bosses, and earth-shaking controversies from the Crusades to modern abuse scandals.

Ever fantasized about ghosting Thanksgiving—and your entire family? How to Quit Your Family (Without Getting Arrested) is your brutally honest, laugh-out-loud roadmap to freedom from toxic relatives, guilt-ridden holidays, and generational dysfunction.

Basic training was a disaster. His first mission was worse. But somehow, Private Johnny Durham is still alive—and that’s the real miracle. What happens when the world’s most unlucky soldier stumbles his way through the ranks of the U.S. Army? Absolute chaos.

Nine gates hold the basin together. Someone has begun tearing them apart.When the Ninth Gate collapses, killing its Warden and everyone caught in the disaster, the official explanation is simple: aging infrastructure, neglected maintenance, catastrophic failure. It is also a lie.At Third Gate...

Traditional worship told you to sit still, be quiet, and focus. Your brain didn’t get the memo. If church overstimulates you, if “quiet time” feels like torture, and if your prayers arrive in tangents, you are not broken—you’re neurodivergent. And your way of worship can be just as holy. Neurodivergent Spirituality: When Traditional Worship Doesn’t Work for Your Brain tears down the myth of the “perfect worshipper” and replaces it with a biblical, practical vision of faith that fits real bodies and real brains.

Jax hates stools. He hates counters that are chest-high. But mostly, he hates not getting paid. Captain Jax is a pilot with a Napoleon complex and a corvette held together by duct tape and lizard spit. He’s five-foot-six of pure spite in a galaxy built for giants. When a slime-mold broker offers him a retirement-level payday to transport a "biological sample" to the edge of the Drift, Jax doesn’t ask questions. He just wants the credits.

Jesus, Don’t Let Me Cuss in Church is a blunt, funny, and deeply pastoral field guide for believers who keep screwing up and still keep showing up. Dustin Gross drops the church mask and tells the truth about doubt, anger, panic, and the pressure to perform holiness—then points to a Jesus who isn’t impressed by our act and isn’t afraid of our honesty.

Healing isn't a miracle. It’s a transaction. Malakai Vane is not a "white mage." He doesn't pray, he doesn't sparkle, and he doesn't do charity. He is a combat medic who knows the one immutable law of magic: The Tax.

Did you know that Zeus had the impulse control of a reality TV star on a bender? That Poseidon settled his grudges with tsunamis? Or that Ares was the god of war but somehow still managed to lose fights? Divine Dysfunction is a wild, sarcastic deep dive into the Greek and Roman gods who ruled the cosmos but couldn’t rule their own lives.

In this wildly irreverent fantasy parody, four extremely unqualified adventurers are chosen to save the world—or at least not make it worse. Grogthar the Blood-Spiller: a shirtless barbarian with more biceps than brain cells. Tinsel: an elven rogue with sticky fingers and zero morals. Kevin: a depressed necromancer whose horse might be more competent than he is. Arlandio DuFlair: a bard with the libido of a god and the self-awareness of a rock.

In the chaos of post-plague France, a bastard noble, a disgraced knight, a cunning thief, and a blasphemous priest embark on a treacherous journey to reclaim a stolen birthright. Betrayal lurks in every shadow, and the Hundred Years’ War has made mercenaries cheap—but loyalty even cheaper. As assassins, warlords, and scheming nobles close in, survival demands wit, steel, and a willingness to gamble it all. In The Ale-Stained Chronicles, honor is a myth—only the ruthless endure.

They told him to shrink. He chose to suplex society instead. Ricky "Napalm" Stubbs just got fired for body-slamming a vending machine—and that was before the smart scale insulted his BMI in a British accent. Unemployed, overweight, and overwhelmingly pissed off, Ricky creates the Chunky Combat Club: a secret underground league for misfits who are thicc, ticked, and totally over it.

The sacred. The sinful. The stupid. Tequila is all of it—and this is your lime-salted, smoke-soaked guide to surviving it. There are books about tequila—and then there’s this unholy gospel of agave-fueled madness. The Book of Tequila: Glory, Regret, and Other Sacred Traditions is your laugh-out-loud, profanity-laced, weirdly informative guide to the most dangerous spirit on Earth.

Adulting is a scam, and you’ve been tricked into playing. Bills, burnout, awkward family gatherings—nobody warned you it’d be this chaotic. How to Survive Life Without Totally Screwing It Up is the brutally honest, laugh-out-loud survival guide you didn’t know you needed. Packed with real talk, questionable advice, and the reassurance that nobody has it figured out, this book is your go-to for navigating life’s absurdity with (mostly) your sanity intact.

Struggling to function as a responsible adult? You’re not alone. How to Put On Your Underwear and Other Life Hacks is your brutally honest, laugh-out-loud guide to surviving everyday chaos—bad alarms, awkward small talk, and grocery store blackouts. Because let’s be real: adulting is a scam, and we’re all winging it.

They stole his bread. They mocked his speech. Now, he's taking it all back—one quack at a time. Meet Thaddaeus McQuack: a furious, foul-mouthed duck with a grudge the size of a city pond and a speech impediment that only makes his threats funnier. After a mime-related incident lands him in a zoo, Thaddaeus breaks free—and declares war on mankind. With a deranged cockatoo named Steve, a flying squirrel militia, and a revolution built on stale bread and pure rage, Duck Off: The Quack Chronicles is a wild, action-packed satire you never knew you needed.