Showing results by author "Morris Gleitzman" in All Categories

Brilliantly funny short stories for middle school listeners from the ever-popular Morris Gleitzman, in the hilarious style of Give Peas a Chance, Pizza Cake and Snot Chocolate! These short stories are equally funny and hopeful – at a time when we need as much hope and humour as we can get.

"I'm only going to say this once more," said Dad, "so listen very carefully. We are not ever, under any circumstances, going to Australia." What does a kid do when his Mum and Dad are misery guts? Move them to a tropical paradise, decides Keith. That'll cheer them up. It's a brilliant plan, if he can pull it off.

Eleven-year-old Grace only knows one world: the world of her mum and dad and twin brothers, and the strict religious community they belong to. But when her dad is thrown out of the church for asking questions, Grace is torn. How can she stay in the church and keep her family together?

Save 10 lives with a paperclip. Discover how a big banana can ruin your sister's holiday. Make a new friend with a garbage bin. Develop a taste for sheep's spleen and chips. Bounce on a vampire's bed. Rescue your dad from a dog and a spider. Use a toilet roll to get justice. Upset the neighbours with a pickax. Eat a pizza that makes you fearless. And imagine a world where teachers earn more money than a rock star.

Rowena Batts has enough problems in her life without adopting a crazy cockatoo. She's just splattered two hundred grown-ups with jelly and custard, and her dad's getting married to her teacher. But Sticky the cockatoo turns out to be just the friend she needs.

Thomas is eleven and lives with his mum and dad and big sister, Alisha. He was a pretty normal kid until two weeks ago, when he discovered he had developed a startling new ability. Every time anyone tells a lie, Thomas develops a violent itch in his nipples. It's uncomfortable, embarrassing, and gets Thomas into all sorts of trouble.

From the author who created the memorable world of Toad Rage comes another highly infectious tale of a brave microscopic hero who is unexpectedly propelled from his familiar nostril-home into the big wide dangerous world. In Aristotle's Nostril Morris features a whole new cast of funny and gross characters that kids will love.

Bigger and fatter than all the other microbes in the valley, Wilton feels ostracized and out of place. But even more worryingly, their world has become unhealthy and toxic with mass illness and flash storms. Setting out to find out what is wrong, Wilton meets Algy, a tiny microbe small enough to sit on his shoulder (and take refuge in his guts) who accompanies Wilton on his quest.

"'There he is', Gramps shrieked. 'The Spy. The scumbag spy.' I looked up and saw a monstrous white hairy face disappear into the drain. I had never seen such a frightening sight. White hair covered its entire head. I couldn't even see any eyes. In a flash Gramps splashed into the drain after it."

I gulped. My mouth was dry. How could I tell her? How could I just announce that her son¿s innards had been sucked out by giant worms and that his skin was probably flapping somewhere in the morning breeze? I turned away, struggling to find the words.

Tři roky a osm měsíců žije devítiletý Felix Salinger v odlehlém katolickém sirotčinci v horách, ačkoli není katolického vyznání. Jeho rodiče nejsou mrtví. Přivedli ho k matce Mince, představené jeptišek, aby se měl dobře. A určitě si pro něj brzy přijdou, jak Felix věří, jen co vyřeší potíže, které mají se svým knihkupectvím. Protože židovští knihkupci to mají v Polsku roku 1942 těžké. Jak moc těžké, to Felix pochopí, až když se v sirotčinci objeví muži s podivnými páskami na rukávech a začnou vyhazovat a pálit židovské knihy z místní knihovny.

The funny and moving story of a boy and his friends never losing heart in a sometimes heartless world. Ludo helps other people. It’s how he was brought up. When Dad is elected to Federal Parliament, Ludo grabs the chance to make Australia an even better place. But he soon discovers it’s not the homeless of the national capital who most need his help - it’s the rich and powerful.

Where do you get a top grandmother at short notice? It's not easy, but Pearl's got Winston to help her, and you can do anything when your best friend is the world's brainiest guinea pig. Then Pearl meets Gran, and the surprises begin.

Like many of his mates from the bush, Frank Ballantyne is keen to join the grand adventure and do his bit. Specially as a chest full of medals might impress the currently unimpressed parents of his childhood sweetheart. So Frank ups his age and volunteers with his horse, Daisy...and his dad. In the deserts of Egypt and Palestine he experiences all the adventure he ever wanted and a few things he wasn't expecting. Heartbreak, love and the chance to make the most important choice of his life.

When 13-year-old Matt is discovered impressing the livestock in an Aussie country town with his remarkable soccer skills, he's offered the chance of a lifetime - a try-out at one of Europe's biggest and most glamorous soccer clubs. His younger sister, Bridie, goes with him as his manager and tells us their story - warts, goals and all.

Even more desperate to save his family from ending up on his stack of squashed relatives, Limpy takes his quest to the airwaves. When a TV cooking show kidnaps Goliath to be their main ingredient, Limpy sets out to rescue him and ends up on camera himself. Can Limpy use his 15 minutes of fame to get humans to lay off the cane-toad squashing? Or will that be a recipe for disaster?

It's not easy being part of Ginger's family when you're allergic to cats; three of them love cats and five of them are cats. Now, the school principal is trying to kill Ginger's new best friend, a fierce-looking stray dog. Can Ginger expose Mr. Napier for the phoney he is?

Like many of his mates from the bush, Frank Ballantyne is keen to join the grand adventure and do his bit. Specially as a chestfull of medals might impress the currently unimpressed parents of his childhood sweetheart. So Frank ups his age and volunteers with his horse, Daisy...and his dad. In the deserts of Egypt and Palestine he experiences all the adventure he ever wanted, and a few things he wasn't expecting. Heartbreak, love, and the chance to make the most important choice of his life.

Reptile spun the wheel and expertly changed gear. We screeched round a corner. I was flung back against the seat. Desperately I hung on to the howling baby. 'When your father finds out what you've done', I yelled at the blond boy, 'you're in for it.' I stared at them trying to take it in. I was being kidnapped at high speed in a military vehicle by a bunch of little brats.... Uncovering deadly secret after deadly secret, Amy and Sprocket are lured deeper into a mystery that gets more exciting with every minute.

Amy and Sprocket are on a mission - to find her dad and his mum, rescue the baby from the Brats and uncover exactly what is going on inside the mysterious nudist colony. But the truth is even more terrifying than anything they imagined. Uncovering deadly secret after deadly secret, Amy and Sprocket are lured deeper into a mystery that gets more exciting with every minute.