You are not being dramatic. You may simply be in the friendzone. 😬

This week on Trial & Error & Error, we’re unpacking the awkward, confusing, occasionally delusional world of unrequited feelings. What exactly is the friendzone? Why do admirers keep hanging around when the romantic memo has clearly been marked “no”? And why can the person doing the rejecting sometimes feel even worse? From back burners and emotional loopholes to “I’m not ready for a relationship” and the timeless classic, “You’re like a sibling to me,” we explore the psychology behind wanting to be loved, wanting to keep someone close, and mistaking intermittent attention for a grand romantic destiny.

We also ask whether the friendzone is really the romantic dead-end pop culture makes it out to be. Spoiler: friendship is actually one of the most common ways romantic relationships begin. So perhaps the real problem isn’t friendship—it’s staying on the emotional waiting list long after the position has been filled. 🤔

Expect research, personal stories, questionable romantic decisions, and at least one reminder that “he’s not that into you” is sometimes the closure you were waiting for.

• The friendzone is less “no to the person” and more “no to romance.”
• Admirers may stay because of hope, fantasy, emotional closeness, and intermittent rewards.
• Rejectors can experience guilt, pressure, confusion, and their own kind of emotional discomfort.
• “Back burners” are people kept in low-level romantic or emotional contact—just in case.
• Friendship is not the enemy of romance: many relationships begin as friendships.
• Clear communication and boundaries are kinder than keeping someone permanently on standby.
• You cannot convince someone to choose you—and you shouldn’t have to.

Stinson, Cameron & Hoplock (2022) — The Friends-to-Lovers Pathway to Romance Baumeister & Wotman — Breaking Hearts: The Two Sides of Unrequited Love LeFebvre et al. (2022) — Conceptualizing the Friendzone Phenomenon Bleske-Rechek et al. (2012) — Benefit or Burden? Attraction in Cross-Sex Friendship Back-burner relationship research — Dibble, Drouin and colleagues UAntwerpen research repository iResearchNet: Unrequited Love Psychology Today: “And You Think You’ve Got It Bad” The mental-health benefits of platonic relationships

‼️We apologize for the inconsistent audio quality in this episode. We recorded fully online, which caused some technical limitations and differences in sound quality between speakers. Thank you for your patience and understanding—and we hope you still enjoy the conversation! ❤️

Your 20s are basically: iced coffee ☕️, questionable texts 📱, and the bold confidence to say “I’ll start budgeting next week” 💸. So… naturally, we made an episode about it 🎙️✨

In this week’s chaos-coded chat, we’re breaking down the 10 biggest mistakes people make in their twenties — from thinking you need to have life “figured out” by 25 🫠, to building your entire personality around your job 💼, to staying in situationships that ended 3 business months ago 💔. It’s funny, it’s a little brutal 😅, it’s wildly relatable, and it might save you from at least one emotional support spiral 🌀

Expect laughs 😂, research-backed reality checks 🧠, and plenty of “wait… I do that” moments 😭

• You’re not behind — you’re just early ⏳💛 Your 20s are literally designed for experimenting, failing, pivoting, and trying again.
• Your job is something you do, not who you are 💼≠🧍 Having multiple “identities” (friend, hobbyist, gym-goer, menace) makes you more resilient.
• Money avoidance is expensive 💸📉 Compound interest doesn’t care that you were “too young to think about investing.”
• Love shouldn’t feel like a full-time emergency 🚨❤️ Chaos isn’t chemistry.
• Confidence is a reward, not a prerequisite 🏃‍♀️➡️😌 Action first, confidence later.
• Almost nothing is permanent 🔁🌍 Careers change, people reinvent themselves, and you’re allowed to pivot without a dramatic rebrand.

• Meg Jay — The Defining Decade
• Morgan Housel — The Psychology of Money
• Ramit Sethi — I Will Teach You to Be Rich
• Bill Perkins — Die With Zero
• Brené Brown — The Gifts of Imperfection
• James Clear — Atomic Habits
• Oliver Burkeman — Four Thousand Weeks

• Arnett, J. J. (2000) — Emerging Adulthood: A Theory of Development From the Late Teens Through the Twenties (American Psychologist)
• Arnett, J. J. (2014) — Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens Through the Twenties
• Jay, M. (2012) — clinical work & research on the developmental importance of your twenties
• Harvard Study of Adult Development (ongoing) — long-term findings on relationships, wellbeing, life satisfaction
• Kahneman, D. & Tversky, A. — decision-making research (incl. Sunk Cost Fallacy)
• World Health Organization (WHO) — young adult health & prevention guidance
• OECD — financial literacy and youth economic wellbeing reports

• The Diary of a CEO (Steven Bartlett)
• On Purpose with Jay Shetty
• The Mel Robbins Podcast
• The Psychology of Your 20s
• The School of Life (YouTube)
• TED Talks: Meg Jay (“Why 30 Is Not the New 20”), Brené Brown (“The Power of Vulnerability”)

Plot twist: your girls are taking a little summer breather. 💅🏽☀️

After a year of weekly episodes, questionable advice, unnecessary oversharing, deep conversations, chaotic stories and somehow turning our lives into podcast content… we’ve decided it’s time to slow things down just a tiny bit for summer.

But don’t panic — we’re not going anywhere! 💖

For the rest of the summer, the Trial and Error and Error Podcast will be switching from weekly episodes to one episode every two weeks. Our next full episode will be dropping next week, and then we’ll be back in your headphones every other week. 🎧✨

Consider this our ✨summer opening hours✨.

Most importantly, THANK YOU for understanding and for continuing to show up for us. Whether you’ve been here since episode one or discovered us somewhere along the way, every listen, share, message and recommendation means more to us than you know. 🥹🩷

So this isn’t goodbye. It’s simply:

☀️ Summer schedule: every two weeks 🎙️ Next episode: next week 💅🏽 Level of chaos: absolutely unchanged

Enjoy your summer, stay hydrated, wear your SPF, make good decisions (or at least decisions that make good podcast stories), and we’ll see you next week. 💋

Love, Ale and LJ 🩷🎙️

You know that friend who swears they’re happy for you… but somehow their “compliments” sting like a wax strip? Yeah. This episode is for that. 😬💅🔥

In “Toxic Friendships”, we dive into the glamorous, confusing, low-key unhinged world of the frenemy: the “bestie” who’s weirdly competitive, suspiciously jealous, and about as trustworthy as a man who says “I’m just going to the bathroom” at a party. We break down what actually makes a frenemy (spoiler: it’s not just “being a bit shady”), how frenemies are different from messy-but-real ambivalent relationships, and why some of us keep these people in our lives anyway (hello, shared friend groups and workplace politics).

Expect philosophy, psychology, petty anecdotes, and a loving reminder that boundaries are hotter than revenge. 📚🧠🍿🚧

• Frenemies aren’t just “bad friends”: the pattern is usually competition + jealousy + lack of trust.
• Ambivalent relationships (high highs + low lows) can still mess with your health—sometimes more than you’d expect.
• Frenemies often happen when:
  • you used to be real friends,
  • you’re stuck in the same social circle/work/class,
  • the relationship survives on proximity, not peace.
• You don’t always need to “cut them off dramatically in a restaurant.” Sometimes the move is awareness + boundaries + distance.

• Delaney & Malakhova (2018) — Philosophy Now article discussing frenemies as a friendship “façade” with underlying resentment.
• Williams & Packer-Williams (2019) — Work discussing frenemies and relational aggression (and how definitions can get gendered).
• Research on ambivalent relationships and health outcomes (e.g., links to cardiovascular stress, blood pressure, depression, and interpersonal conflict).
• Aristotle’s classic friend categories (pleasure, utility, virtue) — and our unofficial addition: the frenemy, obviously.

Ever rehearsed asking for a raise... only to convince yourself you're being "too greedy" five minutes later? Yeah, us too. 😅

In this episode, we're diving into one of the most nerve-wracking conversations of your career: asking for more money. We unpack whether it's actually okay to ask for a raise in your first few years, why Millennials and Gen Z are changing jobs more than ever, how to figure out what you're really worth, and the exact questions you should ask your manager when it's time to talk salary.

No awkward corporate jargon, no "girl boss" clichés—just practical advice, research-backed insights, and the confidence boost you need to start advocating for yourself. Because doing great work deserves to be recognised. 💸✨

• Know your value before you negotiate: Research market salaries, understand your unique skills, and gather evidence of your achievements before asking for a raise.
• It's about impact, not time served: You don't have to wait five years—if your responsibilities and contributions have grown, it's reasonable to start the conversation.
• Preparation beats confidence: A well-prepared case with measurable results is far more persuasive than simply saying you've worked hard.
• A "no" isn't the end: If a raise isn't possible now, ask what specific goals you need to achieve and agree on a timeline to revisit the discussion.
• Salary isn't the only thing you can negotiate: Bonuses, flexible working, extra leave, professional development, and promotion pathways can all be valuable parts of your compensation.

• European Commission — Labour Market and Wage Developments in Europe 2025
• OECD — Employment Outlook 2025
• International Labour Organization (ILO) — Global Wage Report
• Linda Babcock & Sara Laschever — Women Don't Ask
• Leigh Thompson — The Mind and Heart of the Negotiator
• Daniel H. Pink — To Sell Is Human
• Ramit Sethi — I Will Teach You To Be Rich
• Adam Grant — Research on workplace performance, negotiation, and career development
• Harvard Business Review — Articles on salary negotiation and career progression
• Glassdoor — Salary Insights and Market Data
• LinkedIn Salary Insights
• Payscale — Compensation and Salary Research
• Robert Half & Hays — European Salary Guides
• Bank of America Institute — Research on wage growth among job switchers versus employees who stay with the same employer

(Friendly reminder: every company has different compensation policies and budget cycles. This episode is intended for educational purposes and offers general career advice—always consider your own workplace policies and circumstances when negotiating your salary.)

Can you believe it's been a whole year?

What started as two work besties chatting about life has grown into something we never imagined—a podcast, a community, and a friendship that's been shaped by every conversation we've had along the way.

In this special anniversary episode, we're turning the microphones on ourselves as we reflect on our first year of podcasting. We're asking each other the questions we've never asked before: our favourite episodes, biggest surprises, funniest behind-the-scenes moments, the lessons we've learned, and how creating this podcast has changed us both.

We'll also share what we've loved most about building this community, what your support has meant to us, and where we hope the podcast goes in Year Two.

Whether you've been listening since our very first episode or you've only just found us, thank you for being part of this journey. Every stream, follow, message, recommendation, and laugh has helped make this first year one we'll never forget.

So grab your favourite drink, settle in, and celebrate with us as we look back on an unforgettable first year—and dream about everything that's still to come.

💛 Thank you for listening.

🥂 Here's to Year One.

🎙️ Here's to many more.

Don't forget to follow the podcast, leave us a rating, and share this episode with someone who has been on the journey with us.

Ever wish STIs came with an unsubscribe button? Same. In this episode, we’re getting comfy with the uncomfy and talking all things STIs/STDs—what they are, how they spread (spoiler: it’s not just one kind of sex), why symptoms are not a trustworthy narrator, and how to protect yourself.

No shame, no scare tactics—just facts, laughs, and the kind of info that makes your future self say: “Omg thank you.” 💅🏽✨

• STI vs STD: An infection can exist without symptoms (STI), while an STD is when it progresses into a disease state.
• You can’t “tell” by looking: Most STIs can be totally symptom-free—testing is the only real tea.
• Transmission is broader than you think: Oral, anal, vaginal, skin-to-skin contact, and even shared toys can all be routes.
• Prevention isn’t just condoms: Vaccines (HPV, Hep B), regular testing, honest convos, and PrEP/PEP for HIV all matter.
• Stigma helps nobody: Having an STI isn’t a moral failing—it’s a medical situation. Period.

• World Health Organization (WHO) — Sexually Transmitted Infections Fact Sheet (2025)
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) — About Sexually Transmitted Infections (2024)
• CDC — Sexually Transmitted Infections Surveillance Report (2024)
• CDC — STI Treatment Guidelines
• Hufstetler K, et al. — Clinical Updates in Sexually Transmitted Infections (2024)
• Wu Z, et al. — Global, Regional, and National Burden of HIV and Other STIs (2025)
• Deng M, et al. — Global Burden of Disease 2021 Study Results (2025)
• Wang W, Sawleshwarkar S, Piraveenan M. — Computational Approaches of Modelling HPV Transmission…: A Systematic Review (2024)
• National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine — Sexually Transmitted Infections: Adopting a Sexual Health Paradigm
• American Sexual Health Association — An Overview of Common STIs, Testing, and Treatment (2026)
• National Health Service (NHS) — Sexually Transmitted Infections (2024)
• Cribier B. — Sexually Transmitted Diseases: An Unprecedented Overview (2025)

(Friendly reminder: this episode is educational and not a substitute for medical advice—talk to a healthcare professional for personal guidance.)

Ever wondered why your body can feel like a high-performing athlete one week and a mildly haunted potato the next? 🏋️‍♀️🥔👻 This week on Trial & Error & Error, we’re talking periods, hormones, and the internet’s favorite wellness buzzword: cycle syncing. 🩸🧠✨

We break down the menstrual cycle (without the high school trauma), how hormonal contraception actually works, and what science really says about training “by your phase.” Spoiler: your uterus didn’t get the memo about being perfectly predictable—and neither did the research.

If you’ve ever thought, “Am I genuinely weaker today, or is my luteal phase just being dramatic?”… welcome home. 😮‍💨📉💅

• 🗓️ There’s no “normal” cycle that fits everyone: 28 days is an average, not a rule—typical cycles vary widely (often ~21–35 days).
• 📈📉 Hormones fluctuate, but performance effects aren’t consistent: research shows some people feel worse in late luteal/early follicular, but objective performance changes are mixed and highly individual.
• 🧩 Cycle syncing isn’t a one-size-fits-all training plan: there isn’t strong evidence for a universal “best workout per phase,” so personalization beats trends.
• 😵‍💫 Perceived effort can change even if strength doesn’t: mood, sleep, stress, cramps, and symptoms can make the same workout feel harder—adjusting is not “quitting,” it’s smart.
• 🩺 If symptoms are intense or disruptive, get checked: conditions like PCOS/endometriosis can change everything—don’t normalize suffering.

• Menstrual Cycle 101 (Clue) — a clear overview of phases, hormones, and what’s actually happening each month: Read
• Birth Control 101 (Clue) — a plain-English guide to the different methods + how they work: Read

• Menstrual cycle & performance review (Open access, PMC): PMC7916245
• Hormones/menstrual cycle research (Open access, PMC): PMC6710244
• Menstrual cycle / exercise-related research (Open access, PMC): PMC8508274
• Cycle-related symptoms/physiology paper (Open access, PMC): PMC5820163
• Cycle, hormones, and related health outcomes (Open access, PMC): PMC5708589
• Peer-reviewed journal article (Springer) — may be behind a paywall depending on your access: 10.1007/s00737-020-01094-0