The Blind Rage Podcast kicks off Shitty Remakes Month with A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010), a lifeless reboot that somehow manages to make dreams boring. Gone is the dark humor, the surreal energy, and the iconic menace of Robert Englund. In their place: a washed-out color palette, joyless exposition, and a Freddy who sounds like he needs a throat lozenge more than revenge. It’s not scary, it’s not clever—it’s just tired.

The Blind Rage Podcast is celebrating Australia Day with one of the worst horror movies the Land Down Under ever produced: HOUSEBOAT HORROR (1989). Shot on video and seemingly edited with a butter knife, this sun-soaked slasher follows a group of “musicians” and their entourage as they head to a remote lake to film a music video. What they find instead is an off-camera killer who makes quick work of the cast, the crew, and any shred of production value. With performances that redefine the word “wooden” and dialogue so flat it could double as a cutting board, HOUSEBOAT HORROR has been called everything from “the worst Australian film ever made” to “a masterpiece of accidental comedy.” And honestly, both might be true.

Are you ready to be scared? The Blind Rage Podcast flips off the lights and locks the door for AFTER MIDNIGHT (1989), a twisted anthology that studies fear the hard way. A smug psychology professor turns his classroom into a proving ground for terror, unraveling three stories that creep from romance to nightmare, from roadside tension to blood-soaked survival, and from the safety of a phone line to something far worse. When fiction bleeds into reality, no one makes it to dawn unscarred.