Matthew Coleman is back to join Paul for a Roma recap and a preview of Roland Garros. We debate what makes someone worth stanning and argue over being an Ostapenko versus a Sinner. And with all the injured players taking time off, we rank who would make the best James Bond during their time off. Plus we have new Lobsbians that ask the question "when would you pants yourself?" and we consult our crystal balls to predict the upsets and breakthroughs for Paris.

Buckle up for a bull ride through Madrid as Nathan Frizzell joins as guest Ball Boy. We cover all the ins and outs of Caja Magica with some Dark Magica, Magica Touch, and of course the model ball boys and girls. The ATP is red for fifth as Jannik Sinner is absolutely un-toppable collecting yet another trophy. Plus we debate just how many times a former number 1 should lose in a row before the wild cards stop and we hold space for each other as the BaeTP is hit with some clay ending injuries. And don’t miss our predictions for Rome with our always reliable Majica Balls.

On today’s show Paul is joined by Zach McKenzie from the Houston Tennis Club, OutSmart Magazine and My Gay Houston. We've got an insider’s take on the VIP treatment at the US Clay Championships, and once again worship at the altar that is the Monte Carlo Masters. And we visit the rumor mill to find out who broke up with who, who retired, and who stole who’s coach. Plus we’ve identified the Naomi Smalls of the tour, who’s wig is on backwards, and who is at risk of being stuck in the Khia Asylum. Come get caked up on clay with us.