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The Scream I Couldn’t Let Out: Trauma Recovery, Somatic Release & Being Safely Witnessed

“I had always wanted to be able to scream. I always felt like I needed to let out a scream, but I couldn’t.”

In this powerful season one closing episode of The Angela Rose Show, Angela shares a deeply personal recovery story about experiential trauma therapy, emotional release, and what it felt like to finally be safely witnessed.

Instead of interviewing a guest, Angela reflects on her time at a trauma-informed healing workshop in Tennessee, where storytelling, confidentiality, consent, and shared humanity created a space where survivors could be seen without being fixed, advised, or judged.

Angela opens up about the impact of sharing her story timeline in a small group, watching others gently respond with tears, anger, and quiet connection. For someone who had often felt dismissed, misunderstood, or spiritually corrected instead of heard, this experience became a powerful example of what safe witnessing can feel like.

She also shares two deeply embodied moments from her recovery: the first time she was finally able to scream with a circle of other survivors, and a powerful exercise where carrying and throwing rocks became a physical release of anger, injustice, and old identities she never asked to carry.

With honesty and courage, we explore:
• Why some survivors feel the need to scream, but cannot access it
• The healing power of being witnessed without advice, fixing, or spiritual correction
• How storytelling can reduce shame and create connection
• The importance of consent, not only physically, but emotionally and verbally
• Why trauma survivors may need safe witnesses before they can fully express pain
• Somatic release through screaming, movement, nature, and embodied therapy
• Releasing anger in safe ways after years of suppression, obedience, and fear
• Dropping the “rocks” we were handed but never chose to carry
• The role of survivor community in helping us feel less alone
• Learning that emotional expression is not what is wrong with us — it may be what is right about us

This is not just a story about therapy.
It is a story of being heard, releasing what was never yours, and learning to express what had been silenced.

Trigger Warning: Discussion of trauma recovery, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, coercive control, religious trauma, suicidal ideation/intrusive thoughts, emotional suppression, and somatic release.

If this episode resonated with you, comment “I get it” below. If you have ever felt that scream stuck inside, or if you have ever needed someone to simply witness your pain without fixing it, you are not alone.

Therapy Resource: Onsite https://experienceonsite.com/

Follow Angela Rose:
Instagram: / angelarosemartin
Facebook: / angelarosemartin
TikTok: / angelaroseshow

Crisis Support Resources
Crisis Text Line — Text TWLOHA to 741741
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call 988
National Child Abuse Hotline — Call 800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Hotline — Call 800-799-7233
RAINN — Call 800-656-4673

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One Year of The Angela Rose Show: Angela Answers Questions on Healing, Growth & Reclaiming Herself

“I like to think that my younger self is grinning because she feels seen.”

In this heartfelt one-year anniversary episode of The Angela Rose Show, Angela turns the microphone toward herself for a deeply personal conversation about growth, healing, creativity, and what this past year of podcasting has meant to her.

Instead of interviewing a guest, Angela answers thoughtful questions submitted by some of her closest friends, supporters, and therapist—people who have walked beside her behind the scenes and helped cheer her on through this journey. The result is an honest, reflective episode that celebrates not just a milestone, but the courage it takes to keep showing up.

Angela opens up about what she would say to the version of herself who started this podcast a year ago, the unexpected ways this work has grown her, and what it has meant to move from writing privately into the deeper vulnerability of being seen and heard on camera.

She also shares powerful insight into trauma recovery, boundaries, inner child healing, spirituality after leaving rigid religion, somatic healing, self-defense, safety, and the quiet but life-changing shift of learning that she deserves good things.

With honesty and reflection, we explore:
• What Angela would say to herself at the very beginning of this podcast journey
• How creating the show has deepened her confidence, voice, and sense of self
• The strength of emotional attunement, presence, and making others feel safe
• Why boundaries became essential as the platform and community grew
• How she holds both her own story and others’ stories without losing individuality
• What it was like growing up in a family that never fully fit the Mennonite mold
• How her understanding of faith, spirituality, and God has changed since leaving rigid religion
• The role of safety, therapy, friendships, and survivor community in post-trauma recovery
• Why nature, movement, massage, laughter, and self-defense have become vital parts of healing
• How hope, creativity, play, and honoring her younger self continue to shape who she is becoming

This is not just an anniversary episode.
It is a story of reflection, reclamation, and becoming more fully yourself.

Trigger Warning: Discussion of trauma, religious abuse, complex trauma, emotional pain, retraumatization, and recovery themes.

If Angela’s story or this podcast has meant something to you over the past year, thank you for being here. Your presence, support, and willingness to listen to hard stories with an open heart are part of what makes this work possible.

Follow Angela Rose:
Instagram: / angelarosemartin
Facebook: / angelarosemartin
TikTok: / angelaroseshow

Crisis Support Resources
Crisis Text Line — Text TWLOHA to 741741
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call 988
National Child Abuse Hotline — Call 800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Hotline — Call 800-799-7233
RAINN (Sexual Assault Support) — Call 800-656-4673

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Purity Culture, Toxic Sexuality Teachings & Shame Recovery

“Shame doesn’t produce integrity, it produces secrecy. Healing begins when curiosity replaces fear.”

In this raw, deeply validating episode of The Angela Rose Show, Angela is joined by Ann for a mutual conversation about the lasting impact of purity culture and toxic sexuality teachings inside Mennonite/plain communities.

Together, they unpack the covert messaging so many of us absorbed growing up: that bodies are “dangerous,” that normal attraction equals lust, that women carry responsibility for men’s behavior, and that boys are automatically framed as predators. They also name how silence around sex doesn’t protect children... it isolates them, removes language, and increases shame.

This episode is meant to be shame-reducing, clarifying, and empowering for anyone who grew up in high-control religious spaces, and for survivors trying to untangle fear-based beliefs from their natural humanity.

With honesty and compassion, we explore:
• The difference between attraction vs. lust (and why noticing beauty isn’t “sin”)
• How “modesty” messaging trained girls to feel responsible for men’s purity
• How boys were conditioned to expect lust—and punished for normal body development
• The harm of “shame-faced” obedience, eye-averting, and dehumanizing gender roles
• How purity culture creates fear, secrecy, and disconnection instead of integrity
• Why arousal does not equal consent (and why that matters for survivors)
• The impact of silence: lacking language for anatomy, consent, abuse, and boundaries
• Why education isn’t corruption; it’s safety
• How reclaiming agency begins when curiosity replaces fear

This is not just a conversation about purity culture.
It’s a conversation about agency, wholeness, and learning to trust your body again.

Trigger Warning: Discussion of trauma, child sexual abuse, sexual coercion, purity culture, religious punishment, shame, modesty control, dissociation/freeze responses, and other sensitive topics. This content is for educational purposes. Please take care of yourself while listening.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs language for what they lived through. These conversations matter, and they can be a lifeline.

Follow Angela Rose:
Instagram: / angelarosemartin
Facebook: / angelarose
TikTok: / angelaroseshow

Follow Ann:

Facebook: / annmariedetweiler

Crisis Support Resources
Crisis Text Line — Text TWLOHA to 741741
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call 988
National Child Abuse Hotline — Call 800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Hotline — Call 800-799-7233
RAINN (Sexual Assault Support) — Call 800-656-4673

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Jasiel’s Escape from an Amish Mennonite Cult, Childhood Abuse & Rape, and the Long Road to Safety

“I believe you—and I want you to trust yourself enough to believe yourself.”

In this deeply sobering episode of The Angela Rose Show, Angela sits down with Jasiel, a survivor who grew up inside an Amish Mennonite cult where control was disguised as “holiness,” obedience was demanded at all costs, and abuse was normalized as discipline.

Jasiel shares the terrifying reality of childhood shaped by fear, isolation, and religious manipulation—from being taught that “delayed obedience is disobedience,” to living under extreme rules that governed everything from clothing to carpet, from social connection to basic comfort.

As her story unfolds, Jasiel also offers powerful insight through the lens of her current work as a psychology student and trauma-informed coach, explaining how early abuse impacts attachment, development, shame, and the nervous system—and what healing can look like when safety finally enters the picture.

With bravery and truth, we explore:
• Growing up under authoritarian religious control and isolation
• How “obedience” and scripture were weaponized to justify harm
• The devastating impact of physical, emotional, psychological, and sexual abuse
• The loss of safety in attachment, and how it shapes trust vs. mistrust
• Forced conformity, gender separation, and the erasure of individuality
• How fear, shame, and dissociation became survival tools
• CPS involvement, excommunication, and the complicated aftermath
• The courage it takes to run, and the realities of staying hidden
• Healing through co-regulation, safety, trust, collaboration, and empowerment

This is not just a story of survival.
It is a story of truth, endurance, and learning to come home to yourself.

Trigger Warning: Discussion of child sexual abuse, rape, physical violence, religious trauma, coercive control, emotional/psychological abuse, dissociation, suicidal ideation, and neglect.

If Jasiel’s story moved you, please share this episode with someone who may need to hear it. These conversations matter—and they can be a lifeline for someone still living in silence.

Connect with Jasiel (Guest):
Email: jasielcaroline@gmail.com
Facebook: Jasiel Caroline
Instagram: @damedivergent

Follow Angela Rose:
Instagram: / angelarosemartin
Facebook: / angelarosemartin
TikTok: / angelaroseshow

Crisis Support Resources
Crisis Text Line — Text TWLOHA to 741741
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call 988
National Child Abuse Hotline — Call 800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Hotline — Call 800-799-7233
RAINN (Sexual Assault Support) — Call 800-656-4673

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Send a text

“I was so conditioned into thinking that what my parents were like was normal, that I didn’t see any red flags.” 💔

In this moving episode of The Angela Rose Show, Rebekah Thomas opens up about growing up in an Independent Fundamental Baptist household, a world where fear, control, and spiritual manipulation shaped every part of her existence. What began as a home rooted in religion evolved into a life of isolation, obedience, and eventual escape.

Rebekah’s story reveals the devastating impact of psychological, emotional, and spiritual abuse and the long, courageous journey toward reclaiming her mind, body, and soul.

Through her vulnerability, we see what happens when belief is weaponized and how the human spirit can rise from the wreckage of indoctrination.

🔍 With bravery and truth, we explore:

•Growing up under authoritarian religious control

•How isolation and fear kept Rebekah compliant

•Witnessing and surviving familial abuse

•The devastating effects of religious and mental manipulation

•How purity culture and gender hierarchy shaped her marriage

•The patterns of narcissistic control repeating across generations

•Breaking free from spiritual and domestic abuse

•Rebuilding a life of independence, self-worth, and peace

This is not just a story of survival. It is a story of awakening, courage, and rebirth. 🌿

🛑 Trigger Warning: Discussion of child sexual abuse, religious trauma, mental and emotional abuse, domestic violence, and spiritual manipulation.

💬 If Rebekah’s story moved you, please share this episode with someone who may need to hear it. Together, we can bring light to hidden stories and healing to those still searching for freedom.

🎧 Support The Angela Rose Show:

You can now support our mission and stories like this by becoming a monthly contributor here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2458617/subscribe?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR5ucQYAansDCEPvXiAhZX8XuE8r3zW9Qxwu_cnMXOXYOf1WaVKzjnxWeI1fTw_aem_6icjEQaLh3KFZIIPFzU_Kg

🔗 Follow Rebekah Thomas:

Website: https://www.ediemaessoap.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ediemaessoap

🔗 Follow Angela Rose:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/angelarosemartin

Facebook:http://facebook.com/angelarosemartin

TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@angelaroseshow

📍 Crisis Support Resources

• Crisis Text Line — Text TWLOHA to 741741
• Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call 988
• National Child Abuse Hotline — Call 800-422-4453
• National Domestic Violence Hotline — Call 800-799-7233
• RAINN (Sexual Assault Support) — Call 800-656-4673

Support the show

Send a text

“Some of our most painful losses are not fully perceived by the people around us. But that doesn’t make them any less worthy of being seen or grieved.”

In this profoundly moving episode of The Angela Rose Show, Ruth Miller unveils her story of spiritual, emotional, and sexual abuse within a conservative Mennonite community, and how she found her voice after decades of silence.

Ruth courageously walks us through childhood trauma, fear-based religion, isolation, narcissistic abuse, and the devastating loss of her daughter. Her story is one of deep grief and also of incredible grit. Today, Ruth stands as a student training to become a licensed therapist, offering compassion to others walking the same road.

🔍 With tenderness and truth, Ruth and I explore:
•Early memories of abuse and isolation in her Amish Mennonite upbringing
•The terror of being punished and silenced in the name of religion
•Surviving sexual abuse and the long-term impact of hypervigilance and fear
•Living in a controlling marriage and finding courage to leave
•The unimaginable loss of her daughter and learning to breathe again
•How mentorship, therapy, and faith helped her rebuild her life
•Why healing happens in layers and how Ruth now brings hope to others

This is not just a story about survival. It is a sacred story unveiling truth, peace, and the power of a woman who knows her strength.

🛑 Trigger Warning: This episode includes descriptions of childhood sexual abuse, religious abuse, emotional manipulation, suicidal ideation, and the loss of a child. Please listen with care.

💬 Has this conversation resonated with your story? Share your thoughts in the comments or reach out privately. You are not alone. And if you found hope in today’s episode, please like, share, and subscribe to help us reach more survivors and families.

🎧 Support The Angela Rose Show:
You can now support our mission and stories like this by becoming a monthly contributor here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2458617/subscribe?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR5ucQYAansDCEPvXiAhZX8XuE8r3zW9Qxwu_cnMXOXYOf1WaVKzjnxWeI1fTw_aem_6icjEQaLh3KFZIIPFzU_Kg



🔗 Follow Ruth Miller:
Facebook: Ruth Miller Ministries (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558948408274#)

🔗 Follow Angela Rose:
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/angelarosemartin
Facebook:http://facebook.com/angelarosemartin
TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@angelaroseshow



📍 Crisis Support Resources
Crisis Text Line — Text TWLOHA to 741741
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call 988
National Child Abuse Hotline — Call 800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Hotline — Call 800-799-7233
RAINN (Sexual Assault Support) — Call 800-656-4673

Support the show

Send a text

She ran away at 12 years old, stripped on stage at 15, and nearly boarded a plane that crashed weeks later. What saved her? Radical honesty, stubborn love, and a faith that outlived the rules.

In this episode of The Angela Rose Show, I sit down with my soul-friend Jamie, a survivor whose life began on the gang-controlled streets of Chicago. Her journey through childhood neglect, abuse, grooming pipelines, and severe addiction reveals a profound truth: healing is found in connection, not perfection.

Together, Jamie and I trace the thread that kept showing up: love wins. Her journey takes us through addiction with 7 DUIs, infertility grief, and the rebuilding of a sober community around a backyard campfire for women. If you’ve ever wondered whether authenticity can actually change a life, this story is for you.

With raw vulnerability, Jamie and I unpack:

•Surviving rape at 11 and being groomed by gangs for prostitution

•Physically dragged by church workers and sent to the Lester Roloff Baptist home

•Finding structure and faith for the first time

•The empty promise of escape through materialism and “call-girl” life

•The devastating spiral of alcoholism that led to 7 DUIs and jail time

•The life-or-death moment of self-confrontation that began 12 years of sobriety

•Clothing judgment within a Mennonite community and reclaiming personal faith

•How Jamie created Time Out for Women, a simple campfire community to fight loneliness and build authentic connection

This is more than a survival story. It’s a testament to the relentless power of showing up for yourself and the healing that happens when we choose to edify instead of judge.

🛑 Trigger Warning: This episode includes descriptions of childhood sexual assault, gang violence, kidnapping, prostitution, addiction, alcoholism, and infertility. Please listen with care.

💬 Has this conversation resonated with your story? Share your thoughts in the comments or reach out privately. You are not alone. And if you found hope in today’s episode, please like, share, and subscribe to help us reach more survivors and families.

🔗Connect with Jamie Marts

Facebook: Jamie Marts

Cell #717-201-3395

🔗 Follow Angela Rose:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/angelarosemartin

Facebook:http://facebook.com/angelarosemartin

TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@angelaroseshow

📍 Crisis Support Resources

• Crisis Text Line — Text TWLOHA to 741741
• Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call 988
• National Child Abuse Hotline — Call 800-422-4453
• National Domestic Violence Hotline — Call 800-799-7233
• RAINN (Sexual Assault Support) — Call 800-656-4673

Support the show

Send a text

“They told me it was love. But what I felt was fear, shame, and confusion. Spanking in God’s name left wounds that went far deeper than my body.”

In this groundbreaking episode of The Angela Rose Show, I sit down with Matt Shantz, mental health worker, coach, and survivor of corporal punishment in conservative Mennonite communities. Together, we uncover how “discipline in love” becomes trauma cloaked in religion, shaping our view of God, our bodies, and our ability to trust.

🔍 With courage and compassion, Matt and I explore:

• How spanking harms attachment and development, even when done “calmly” or “in love”
• Why children forced to bond with violent caregivers carry lifelong nervous system trauma
• The hidden sexual impacts of spanking, from unwanted arousal to complete shutdown
• Angela’s personal story of dissociation and powerlessness watching siblings being hit
• Why religious communities rebrand violence as “spanking” and how humor masks deep wounds
• The unique trauma of witnessing abuse in the house of God
• Practical alternatives: breaking cycles of violence, regulating ourselves as parents, and raising children with connection instead of control
• Resources for parents and survivors: attachment-based parenting, trauma recovery, and healing from religious abuse

This is not just about parenting. It is about truth-telling, breaking generational cycles, and reclaiming what love really means.

🛑 Trigger Warning: This episode includes descriptions of corporal punishment, child abuse, sexual confusion, arousal and shutdown, dissociation, religious manipulation, and spiritual trauma. Please listen with care.

💬 Has this conversation resonated with your story? Share your thoughts in the comments or reach out privately. You are not alone. And if you found hope in today’s episode, please like, share, and subscribe to help us reach more survivors and families.

🔗 Follow Matt Shantz

🌐 Website: https://www.mattshantz.org/

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shantzmatt/

🔗 Follow Angela Rose:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/angelarosemartin

Facebook:http://facebook.com/angelarosemartin

TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@angelaroseshow

📍 Crisis Support Resources

• Crisis Text Line — Text TWLOHA to 741741
• Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call 988
• National Child Abuse Hotline — Call 800-422-4453
• National Domestic Violence Hotline — Call 800-799-7233
• RAINN (Sexual Assault Support) — Call 800-656-4673

Support the show