### Mixtape Therapy — Episode 60: You’re So VainWhat does **Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain”** have to teach us about relationships, self-perception, and the stories we tell ourselves about what other people are thinking?In Episode 60 of **Mixtape Therapy**, Hannah and Scottie dive into one of pop music’s most enduring mysteries while using “You’re So Vain” as a jumping-off point for a much bigger conversation about the **spotlight effect**—our tendency to overestimate how much other people notice, think about, or judge us.Hannah shares her family’s belief that the song is actually about her father, despite his own belief that it’s about him. From there, the conversation moves into the way we discover music, with Scottie explaining his method of saving songs that catch his attention in Spotify before eventually organizing them into playlists.But the real therapy starts when the conversation turns inward.Scottie and Hannah explore how much energy we spend worrying about **how we're perceived by other people**, and what happens when we shift our attention from being liked, understood, or approved of toward **personal growth, authenticity, and being present**.They talk about:* The meaning and mystery behind Carly Simon’s **“You’re So Vain”*** The **spotlight effect** and why we often overestimate how much people are thinking about us* How our perception of our importance in other people’s lives changes as we grow older* Letting go of the need to be positively perceived* Authenticity, self-awareness, and personal growth* What therapy can teach us about being present instead of worrying about how we're being received* **Stand-up comedy**, vulnerability, and the importance of focusing outward rather than inward* Why performers can become disconnected from an audience when they focus too much on themselves* The surprising tendency to underestimate how much other people actually like us* Unspoken expectations and the problems they create in romantic relationships* Communication, emotional responsibility, and expecting people to read our minds* The difference between healthy self-reflection and becoming overly self-conscious* What it means to be “vain” in a relationship—and where the healthy middle ground might beAt its heart, this episode is about **getting out of your own head**. We all wonder what other people think of us. But how much of that story is actually happening—and how much are we creating ourselves?🎧 **Listen to Mixtape Therapy Episode 60: “You’re So Vain”** and join Hannah and Scottie for another conversation where music becomes the doorway to therapy, relationships, self-discovery, and a little bit of laughter.Co-Hosts:Hannah Shaperhttps://youtube.com/@hannahshaper6831https://www.intotheabliss.com/contactScottie Gassnerhttps://youtube.com/@heyjustbehttps://open.spotify.com/show/1THqG0Pch3Gj0kEAAhwmnA?si=VSWIflkQRgOsxUjMEK-o-wwww.heyjustbe.com

**Still Fighting It: Parenting, Mental Health & Holding On When Life Gets Hard | Mixtape Therapy**What does **Ben Folds’ “Still Fighting It”** have to say about parenting, mental health, growing up, and surviving the hardest moments of life?#59 of **Mixtape Therapy**, Scottie and Hannah unpack the emotional impact of “Still Fighting It” and the complicated feelings that can come with the idea of becoming a parent. Hannah opens up about her concerns surrounding having children when there is a possibility of passing on a **heritable mental health condition**, and how the song’s message about preparing a child for life’s struggles hits differently when viewed through that lens.The conversation moves from **parenting and childhood struggles** to school, discipline, communication, and the ways our own childhood experiences can shape how we parent. Scottie shares stories about his daughter and the challenges of watching your kids navigate the same frustrations, emotions, and growing pains that you experienced yourself.But the conversation gets deeper.Hannah shares her experience with **severe depression** and what it meant to get through a period when hope didn't feel possible. Instead of trying to tackle an entire day—or an entire life—she learned to focus on the next **hour, the next small goal, and the next reason to keep going**.Sometimes surviving isn't about feeling hopeful. Sometimes it's simply about **holding on**.They talk about:* Ben Folds and the emotional impact of **“Still Fighting It”*** Parenting and the fears that come with raising children* Mental health and the complicated decision of having children* Depression and what it means to survive a dark period* Taking life **one hour at a time*** Small goals during overwhelming moments* Self-judgment and negative thinking* How therapists can help during a mental health crisis* Supporting someone experiencing depression* Why simply showing up for someone can matter* Childhood experiences and how they influence parenting* Growing up, authority, communication, and getting in trouble* Ben Folds’ **“Rockin’ the Suburbs”** and the universal experience of growing upThis isn't a conversation about having all the answers. It's about **staying connected, finding small reasons to keep moving, and being there for the people we love when life gets overwhelming.**If you or someone you know is struggling, remember that you don't have to solve everything at once. Sometimes the goal is simply to make it through the next hour.🎧 **Mixtape Therapy** explores the songs, stories, memories, and emotions that shape who we are.**Listen. Feel. Talk about it.**Co-Hosts:Hannah Shaperhttps://youtube.com/@hannahshaper6831https://www.intotheabliss.com/contactScottie Gassnerhttps://youtube.com/@heyjustbehttps://open.spotify.com/show/1THqG0Pch3Gj0kEAAhwmnA?si=VSWIflkQRgOsxUjMEK-o-wwww.heyjustbe.com

Why do people get angry at God? In this FREESTYLE, Hannah and Scottie explore the emotions of faith, grief, disappointment, and healing. They discuss why life's unexpected hardships can lead to anger toward God, how directing blame at an abstract source can sometimes hinder personal growth, and how finding meaning through adversity can transform pain into healing. Scottie shares how reflecting on his divorce ultimately deepened his personal growth and changed his perspective on faith. This honest conversation is for anyone wrestling with grief, loss, unanswered prayers, or the difficult question: Why did this happen?Sometimes you just have to press record and see where the conversation takes you. In this special freestyle episode of Mixtape Therapy, Hannah and Scottie put aside the playlist and flow unscripted—no set track, no theme, just authentic conversation. Think of it as the hidden track on your favorite album: spontaneous, raw, and full of surprises.Co-Hosts:Hannah Shaperhttps://youtube.com/@hannahshaper6831https://www.intotheabliss.com/contactScottie Gassnerhttps://youtube.com/@heyjustbehttps://open.spotify.com/show/1THqG0Pch3Gj0kEAAhwmnA?si=VSWIflkQRgOsxUjMEK-o-wwww.heyjustbe.com

How Music Helps You Heal Grief | Phoebe Bridgers, Funeral & Emotional Recovery | Mixtape Therapy Ep. 58Can a song help you process grief?#58 of Mixtape Therapy, Hannah and Scottie dive into "I Know The End" by Phoebe Bridgers, a hauntingly beautiful song that explores loss, sadness, and the complicated journey of healing. What begins as a conversation about one of indie music's most powerful songs evolves into an honest discussion about grief, emotional resilience, therapy, divorce, faith, and why sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is simply allow yourself to feel.Scottie shares how hearing the song brought him back to memories of his divorce—not as someone trapped in the pain, but as someone able to observe it from a distance with compassion. Hannah explains why therapists often encourage people to intentionally make space for grief instead of suppressing it, introducing concepts like "the second arrow" and how self-judgment can make suffering even heavier.Together, they explore why sad music can become one of our greatest healing tools, how grief changes over time without ever fully disappearing, and why giving yourself permission to cry may be one of the strongest things you can do.In this episode, we discuss:The meaning behind Phoebe Bridgers' I Know The EndHow music helps us process grief and lossDivorce, heartbreak, and emotional healingWhy grief is nonlinearThe therapist's perspective on mourningThe "second arrow" and self-compassionHealthy vs. unhealthy ways to grieveWhy certain songs stay with us foreverFaith, anger, and finding meaning after lossWhether you're grieving the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or simply trying to make sense of life's hardest moments, this conversation reminds us that healing doesn't mean forgetting—it means learning how to carry our memories differently.🎧 Subscribe for weekly conversations where music becomes the doorway to deeper discussions about mental health, relationships, personal growth, and the human experience.

#57 - of Mixtape Therapy, Hannah and Scottie unpack "Brick" by Ben Folds—a song often associated with abortion, but one that opens the door to a much deeper conversation about relationships, emotional weight, and what it means to carry someone through their darkest moments. Together, they explore the complexities of supporting a partner through depression, grief, chronic illness, addiction, and life's hardest decisions. They discuss the feeling of becoming "the brick" in a relationship, the difference between helping someone out of love versus helping to ease your own discomfort, and how anxious and avoidant attachment styles can shape the way we experience emotional burdens. Can love survive when one person is carrying more than the other? How do you know when staying is an act of compassion—or self-sacrifice? And what does it really mean to see someone as a whole person instead of the weight they're carrying? This honest and compassionate conversation dives into empathy, commitment, emotional resilience, and the difficult choices that define our closest relationships.

Co-Hosts:

Hannah Shaper

https://youtube.com/@hannahshaper6831

https://www.intotheabliss.com/contact

Scottie Gassner

https://youtube.com/@heyjustbe

https://open.spotify.com/show/1THqG0Pch3Gj0kEAAhwmnA?si=VSWIflkQRgOsxUjMEK-o-w

www.heyjustbe.com

Sometimes you just have to press record and see where the conversation takes you. In this special freestyle episode of Mixtape Therapy, Hannah and Scottie put aside the playlist and flow unscripted—no set track, no theme, just authentic conversation. Think of it as the hidden track on your favorite album: spontaneous, raw, and full of surprises.

Co-Hosts:

Hannah Shaper

https://youtube.com/@hannahshaper6831

https://www.intotheabliss.com/contact

Scottie Gassner

https://youtube.com/@heyjustbe

https://open.spotify.com/show/1THqG0Pch3Gj0kEAAhwmnA?si=VSWIflkQRgOsxUjMEK-o-w

www.heyjustbe.com

#56 - of Mixtape Therapy, Scottie and Hannah dive into the complicated, uncomfortable, and rewarding process of personal growth. They explore what it really means to become the best version of yourself — and how that journey can change the relationships around you. Scottie opens up about losing friendships, gaining more authentic connections, and learning that growth often comes with difficult conversations and rejection. Together, they unpack the tension between personal success and maintaining meaningful relationships, while questioning how we define “the best version” of ourselves in both art and everyday life. The conversation also touches on encouragement, validation, and the lasting impact of feeling truly supported. Scottie reflects on a song about Kanye West and his mother that deeply moved her, sparking a conversation about the kind of emotional space people need to pursue their passions. Hannah adds insight into how genuine encouragement often comes from doing the internal work ourselves rather than simply offering empty reassurance. They also discuss boundaries, parenting, therapy, addiction, and the balance between focusing on yourself while still showing up for others. Along the way, they wrestle with the complicated reality of loving people — and even appreciating art — while acknowledging flaws, mistakes, and the need for accountability. This episode is an honest conversation about growth, identity, support, and learning how to love people without losing yourself in the process.

Co-Hosts:

Hannah Shaper

https://youtube.com/@hannahshaper6831

https://www.intotheabliss.com/contact

Scottie Gassner

https://youtube.com/@heyjustbe

https://open.spotify.com/show/1THqG0Pch3Gj0kEAAhwmnA?si=VSWIflkQRgOsxUjMEK-o-w

www.heyjustbe.com

#55 - of Mixtape Therapy, Hannah and Scottie dive into the question we all circle at some point: What actually gives life meaning? Inspired by a recent book and podcast, the conversation moves beyond clichés and into the real, often subtle moments where purpose shows up—like helping a stranger, being present with someone, or simply showing up when it matters. They explore how meaning isn’t always found in big achievements, but in small, human connections that remind us we belong. From there, the discussion turns personal—covering relationships, communication, and the challenge of letting others help us. Scottie reflects on how learning to receive support has shaped his relationship, while both he and Hannah unpack the deeper role trust and connection play in a fulfilling life. They also explore parenting, and how giving children responsibility—not just protection—helps build confidence, independence, and a sense of contribution. Scottie shares honest insights from fatherhood, including how being present with his daughter continues to reshape his priorities and perspective. The episode expands into the modern tension between online and real-world living—touching on social media, virtual work, and the importance of physical presence. Whether it’s connecting with strangers, training clients in person, or performing stand-up comedy, Scottie emphasizes how real-life interaction creates a deeper impact than anything digital can replicate. Grounded, reflective, and honest, this conversation weaves together purpose, parenting, relationships, and presence—offering a thoughtful look at how to build a meaningful life in a distracted world.

Co-Hosts:

Hannah Shaper

https://youtube.com/@hannahshaper6831

https://www.intotheabliss.com/contact

Scottie Gassner

https://youtube.com/@heyjustbe

https://open.spotify.com/show/1THqG0Pch3Gj0kEAAhwmnA?si=VSWIflkQRgOsxUjMEK-o-

wwww.heyjustbe.com