Episodes

  • The 5-a-side keepers' union & World Cup pub bunting: The listeners' loves & hates

    The 5-a-side keepers' union & World Cup pub bunting: The listeners' loves & hates
    Feb 26 2026
    Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the mid-game solidarity between opposing 5-a-side goalkeepers, top-half teams with wildly anomalous goal differences, managers who performatively refuse to watch their players taking penalties, and the attitude of pubs towards their flag-based bunting during major tournaments. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a quintessentially Scottish football phone-in caller and a listener flags a very niche noise made by a commentator that we will now never be able to ignore. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    57 mins
  • Literally ghosting, Larry David's Champions League commentary & Sir Alex's 2011/12 title curse

    Literally ghosting, Larry David's Champions League commentary & Sir Alex's 2011/12 title curse
    Feb 24 2026
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and, for his 100th appearance, Nick Miller. On the agenda: a cultural review of the North London derby, the threshold for a team "laying a glove" on the opposition, Champions League commentary with an unexpected voice twin, the concept of “losing the dressing room” handily explained by the BBC, the latest superbly-named Brazilian youth player and a classic Richard Keys interview from the late 1980s. Meanwhile, the panel reveal the real reason that Manchester City pipped Manchester United to the Premier League title in 2012. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    54 mins
  • Hoddle's Curse strikes again, the world-record fans' favourite & a saucy U-turn

    Hoddle's Curse strikes again, the world-record fans' favourite & a saucy U-turn
    Feb 19 2026
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Glenn Hoddle suffers the commentator's curse in the Champions League once again, Tony Dorigo's possible claim to an obscure football record, Coventry 3 Middlesbrough 1 boiled down to its purest Gary Weaver, an unexpected return for Gazzetta Football Italia (sort of), and the news of a football-themed Dutch reality TV show. Meanwhile, the panel decide the most acceptable moment and game state for a fanbase to ask their manager to "give them a wave". Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    42 mins
  • The Forest-Watford Vortex, champagne players & Pep vs Daffy Duck

    The Forest-Watford Vortex, champagne players & Pep vs Daffy Duck
    Feb 17 2026
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Pep Guardiola vs Daffy Duck in a fight for the soul of the FA Cup, whistling co-commentators, footballers’ names in US cop documentaries, Jamie O’Hara and Jason Cundy exceed themselves on Talksport, Michael Owen vs Ryan Giggs in the "Far East betting company ambassador video" stakes and predicting Richard Keys’ next withering managerial nickname. Meanwhile, the panel ponder the most Watfordy Nottingham Forest manager never to manage Watford... and vice versa. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    50 mins
  • Generic Spurs punditry, regurgitating possession & ding-dong stalemates: The 500th episode

    Generic Spurs punditry, regurgitating possession & ding-dong stalemates: The 500th episode
    Feb 12 2026
    Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the 500th episode of the podcast. On the agenda: the finer details and ramifications of Thomas Frank being sacked by Spurs, celebrity chefs' names in Premier League goals, superb sponsors in National League clubs’ full-time tweets, Adidas releasing a disgustingly expensive multipack of every World Cup ball ever, the dubious concept of a "ding-dong stalemate", and the least exciting "Winner Stays On" TikTok video football will ever produce. Meanwhile, the panel attempt another scaling of the Happy Hunting Grounds Ladder, the ultimate Premier League goalscoring quiz challenge. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    50 mins
  • Introverted full-backs, radio commentary synchronicity & the Champions League of trees

    Introverted full-backs, radio commentary synchronicity & the Champions League of trees
    Feb 10 2026
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Steve Bruce adds a crucial syllable to Pep Guardiola's legacy, gloriously synchronised radio commentary at Derby County, an unlikely candidate to be the new David Attenborough, an all-conquering UK tree qualifies for Europe, and a new use for the much-maligned Stockley Park. Meanwhile, the panel pick apart the confused, "common sense"-obsessed discourse in the aftermath of Liverpool 1 Manchester City 2. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    44 mins
  • ”Absolute wimp", Arsenal's pre-ignited quadruple & a Doha denouement

    ”Absolute wimp", Arsenal's pre-ignited quadruple & a Doha denouement
    Feb 5 2026
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Carabao Cup curiosities, the exact status of Arsenal's quadruple hopes, a very subtle footballing prefix for a certain level of player, two listeners submit their 1,500-word mini-thesis on what constitutes a “finish”, the January Transfers That Just Feel So Right XI and a first-ever attempt at quiz format Happy Hunting Grounds: The Ladder. Meanwhile, the panel react to the bombshell news of Keys & Gray's departure from beIN Sports at the end of this season. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    56 mins
  • Scorpion scepticism, 80% ball knowledge & Conor Coady's Football Clubs (2026 edition)

    Scorpion scepticism, 80% ball knowledge & Conor Coady's Football Clubs (2026 edition)
    Feb 3 2026
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: subtle podcast references at the darts, goal probabilities with Clinton Morrison, West Brom fans' limited patience with their new manager, football boot manufacturers appearing in Latin epic poems, Conor Coady goes full Conor Coady in his first interview as a Charlton player and selecting the best moment of Ian Holloway's latest outburst. Meanwhile, the panel debate the aesthetic and technical merits of scorpion-kick goals and ponder the exact level of their own "ball knowledge". Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    45 mins