Episodes

  • Rewind: Sexual Fluidity
    Jun 13 2026

    This episode was originally published on March 3, 2017.

    "Whatever"— that's how the actress Maria Bello describes her sexual orientation. Her "love who you love" attitude toward sexuality, regardless of gender, is often referred to as fluidity.

    Maria joins the Sugars this week to discuss a couple of letters having to do with the confusion and complications that can accompany a shift in one's sexual preferences and partnerships. She wrote about the evolution of her own family structure in her 2013 Modern Love column for The New York Times, "Coming Out As a Modern Family," which she later turned into the book, "Whatever...Love is Love: Questioning the Labels We Give Ourselves."

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    42 mins
  • Rewind: Baby or Bust
    May 30 2026

    This episode was originally published on March 22nd, 2017.

    You wants kids; your partner doesn't. Or your partner wants kids, and you don't. Whatever the scenario, few subjects are as emotionally charged and potentially deal-breaking in a relationship as a disagreement over the decision to become parents. In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars take on this tricky topic with the help of the writer Danielle Herzog, who's written in the past about ending her own marriage to become a mother.

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    35 mins
  • Redux: Rapid Fire, Love & Money
    May 16 2026

    When it comes to love, money is supposed to be no object. But there’s no disentangling love from anything in our lives, and income is no exception. So how do you assess the role money should play in a relationship, and what happens when your desires and means change over time?

    In this episode, five letter writers want to know how to discuss money with their romantic and familial partners. How do I stop resenting my husband for his low income? How do I ask my stay-at-home wife to get a job? Should I feel obligated to share the wealth with my fiscally irresponsible parents? The Sugars answer these questions and more in rapid-fire style on today’s episode.

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    44 mins
  • Dear Sugars presents: "The Midnight Rebellion," a new adventure fiction podcast
    Apr 25 2026

    From the WBUR Podcasts team, here's a new kind of story — one that's all about choices and consequences. The Midnight Rebellion is a pick-your-own-path podcast set 100 years in the future, where the stakes are nothing less than the planet itself. It's fiction rooted in real science, built for the kids in your life (ages 7 and up) — and the whole family. Because if Dear Sugars taught us anything, it's that the choices we make shape our futures.

    This is Chapter 1 of The Midnight Rebellion. Choose wisely.

    And if you liked what you heard, listen to the rest and follow The Midnight Rebellion wherever you get your podcasts.
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    20 mins
  • Repost: Sex & Aging
    Mar 21 2026

    This episode was originally released on May 25th, 2018.

    When two women in their sixties start losing interest in sex, their sex-starved partners become increasingly frustrated. Both women blame old age for their waning libidos. But is their diminished sex drive because of age or something else?

    The erotic lives of senior citizens are typically made invisible by our culture, which can lead to confusion and misinformation. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationship columnist for AARP, joins the Sugars to dispel certain myths about sex and aging: Do libidos change after menopause? How does the aging body affect the way we feel about sex? Should medical interventions be considered for a declining sex drive?

    Dr. Schwartz is a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and has written more than 25 books on love and sexuality. She’s also an on-air expert for Lifetime TV’s “Married at First Sight.”

    The Sugars Recommend “Our Souls at Night,” by Kent Haruf

    “Scary Old Sex,” by Arlene Heyman

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    37 mins
  • Repost: Change Is A Work In Progress
    Mar 7 2026

    Seventeen-year-old “Struggling” had big dreams to leave his small town, but his living situation was at risk because he couldn’t stop using drugs. A letter writer who called herself “Bad Mom” loved her children, but could no longer bear the demands of motherhood. Both desperately needed to transform their lives.

    In today’s update episode, we check in with some of our most memorable letter writers from previous episodes. The Sugars find out if “Struggling” was kicked out of his mother’s house, and they give “Bad Mom” a call to see if and how her views of motherhood have changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than two years ago.

    This episode was originally published on January 27th, 2018.

    The Sugars Recommend Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger Archaic Torso of Apollo by Rainer Maria Rilke
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    35 mins
  • Repost: Should I Stay Or Go?
    Feb 21 2026

    This episode was originally released on September 9, 2016.

    In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars bring you another "Rapid Fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters that are all centered around a theme. The theme for this episode is "stay or go" -- people who have a voice in their head telling them to leave their relationship, but who aren't sure it's the right move.

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    34 mins
  • Throwback: How Do I Find The Courage To Be My Own Guide?
    Jan 31 2026

    This episode was originally released September 23rd, 2016.

    The Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. In this encore episode, they take on a broader, more existential question: how to follow your heart. The Sugars discuss with the GRAMMY-winning singer/songwriter India Arie, who shares how she learned to be her own guide.

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    27 mins