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Dear Sugars

Dear Sugars

By: WBUR
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A podcast that fields all your questions and offers radical empathy in return. Now Playing: "You Could Make This Beautiful" co-hosted by Maggie Smith & Faith Salie.Copyright Trustees of Boston University Social Sciences
Episodes
  • Rewind: Trust Your Body
    Oct 3 2026

    This episode was originally released on June 11, 2018.

    Her doctor categorized her as overweight when she was 5 years old. Her grandmother always introduced her as the “chubby one.” As an adult, she vacillates between moderation and binge-eating, restricting food some weeks, and gorging on cake and ice cream during others. “It’s only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight,” writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. “And then the pattern starts all over again.”

    The sinister cycle of dieting and binge-eating plagues many American women. Recently, a counter-movement called Body Positive has sprung up. The movement promotes fat acceptance and attempts to reverse body-shaming, no matter one’s size. But Body Negative is skeptical, writing, “I struggle with how to be body positive after years of being told it’s wrong to be my size and weight. Is there such a thing as unconditional body acceptance?”

    Hilary Kinavey, M.S., L.P.C., and Dana Sturtevant, M.S., R.D., the co-owners of Be Nourished, join the Sugars on today’s episode to offer Body Negative and women like her some hope. Ms. Kinavey and Ms. Sturtevant present new definitions of health and discuss alternatives to the “dieting mind.” Ms. Kinavey explains that before body acceptance is achievable, “most of us who have experienced a lot of body shame … and weight stigma have healing work to do.”

    The Sugars Recommend “The Beauty Myth,” by Naomi Wolf “Hunger,” by Roxane Gay “Intuitive Eating,” by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch “10 Reasons Not to Focus on Your Weight in the New Year,” by Hilary Kinavey and Dana Sturtevant
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    42 mins
  • Redux: Emotional Labor, The Invisible Work (Most) Women Do
    Sep 19 2026

    This episode was originally released on May 5, 2018.

    Remembering the grocery list, coordinating with the babysitter, making food for the potluck, scheduling a get-together with the in-laws: These are some of the invisible tasks that (most) women exclusively do in their romantic relationships — and the list goes on and on.

    Like a modern-day Greek chorus, women from across the country wrote in to the Dear Sugars inbox echoing identical inequalities in their relationships with their husbands and boyfriends. The Sugars commiserate with this aggrieved chorus along with Gemma Hartley, the writer who set off a national conversation about emotional labor with her viral article in Harper’s Bazaar, “Women Aren’t Nags — We’re Just Fed Up.”

    Broaching the subject of emotional labor with a romantic partner can be tricky, especially if he feels as if he’s being blamed for the imbalance of labor. The imbalance in Ms. Hartley’s marriage began righting itself when she and her husband shifted their perspective: “This is not a problem with you and it’s not a problem with me. It’s a cultural problem. We have to unlearn a lot of things together in order to move forward.”

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    44 mins
  • Rewind: The Stepchild's Dilemma
    Aug 29 2026

    Whether you’re 5, 15, or 50 years old, it can be difficult to usher a stepparent in and out of the family unit. In today’s episode, the Sugars answer letters from stepchildren who have fraught relationships with their stepparents.

    This episode was originally released on April 28th, 2018.

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    45 mins
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