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Steve O’Connor welcomes Carol Juergensen Sheets, a licensed clinical social worker and CSAT partner betrayal trauma specialist known for her books Help.Her.Heal and Help.Them.Heal and her ERCEM Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model. Carol explains she entered the field after schools reported children acting out, leading her to IITAP training, then to couples work when she saw betrayed partners in severe trauma.

She emphasizes reflective listening as the key empathy skill and outlines empathy elements (perspective-taking, recognizing emotions, and nonjudgment). They discuss betrayal trauma phases, truth-telling, and practicing relational skills before deeper exploration, noting recovery and trust rebuilding often take three to five years. Carol shares resources, her upcoming book, Help.Him.Heal, and where to find her courses and work.

00:00 Welcome
00:57 Episode Intro and Padre Pio
02:52 Meet Carol the Coach
04:17 How Carol Entered This Work
07:48 Why Partners Need Healing
09:21 Empathy Skills That Work
11:36 Reflective Listening Practice
14:15 ERCEM Model and Trauma Phases
25:32 Help Him Heal and Male Betrayal
27:14 Head to Heart Mindset Shift
33:21 Where to Find Carol and Closing

📌 RESOURCES & LINKS:

• Visit Carol's website to learn more, find her resources, courses, workshops and much more!
• Join Finally Free - CFP's group coaching program for Catholic men: catholicsfightporn.com/groups
• Book an intro call with Steve: catholicsfightporn.com/introdiscoverycall
• Daily CFP Boost texts - text SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or visit catholicsfightporn.com/dailytext
• The Freedom Letter - a daily email newsletter - sign up at catholicsfightporn.com
• Full Disclosure support - Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process. Email Steve for more info: steve@catholicsfightporn.com
• Covenant Eyes accountability software - Get 30 days free at covenanteyes.com | Promo code: CFP
• Wisephone - a safe, locked-down smartphone that's not a flip phone - techless.com/CFP | Promo code: CFP saves $25
• Instagram: @catholicrecovery

If this episode helped you, please leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. It costs you nothing and helps other men find this content when they need it most.

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Steve O’Connor hosts Episode #64 of the Catholics Fight Porn podcast with guest Ellen Drews to discuss the “After Disclosure” phases of the Full Disclosure process: the Partner Impact Statement and the Emotional Restitution Letter. This marks Ellen's 4th appearance on the show. Check out her other episodes [15, 23, 26].

Framed by recording on the the Memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows, they connect disclosure work to grief, empathy, humility, and restoration.

Ellen explains why guided disclosure helps break denial, create shared reality, and stabilize safety.

She outlines what impact letters cover (physical, psychological, financial, spiritual, sexual, social/professional, and family effects), what makes restitution letters effective, suggested timing, and how structured, supported sessions help couples grieve losses and rebuild trust.

Ellen who holds a Master’s in Theology and Pastoral Ministry and is a Certified Partner Coach (APSATS), certified Brainspotting practitioner, ICF-Certified Life Coach, Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (ITAP), Full Disclosure Guide through Kintsugi Recovery Partners, and an Inner Child Model Recovery Specialist trained through Dr. Eddie Capparucci.

Welcome
01:09 Our Lady of Sorrows
03:11 Meet Ellen Drews
05:46 Who Ellen Helps
08:09 Three Phases of Healing
11:23 Why Guided Disclosure
13:42 When to Start Impact
20:06 Impact Statement Basics
21:31 Impact Categories Breakdown
27:19 From Pain to a Roadmap
29:54 What Changes After Writing
30:41 Making Space for Pain
31:33 Compassionate Witnessing
31:49 Safe Containment for Truth
34:27 Empathy as a Muscle
35:07 Restitution Letter Guidelines
37:22 Partner Phase Two Healing
41:10 Processing and Sharing Letters
44:45 Humility and Deeper Recovery
46:04 Overcoming Letter Resistance
51:41 United Against Addiction
54:25 Closing

📌 RESOURCES & LINKS:

• Visit Ellen's website: www.ellendrews.com and book a Complimentary Consult Call with her to discuss your situation and next steps
• Join Finally Free - CFP's group coaching program for Catholic men: catholicsfightporn.com/groups
• Book an intro call with Steve: catholicsfightporn.com/introdiscoverycall
• Daily CFP Boost texts — text SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or visit catholicsfightporn.com/dailytext
• The Freedom Letter - a daily email newsletter - sign up at catholicsfightporn.com
• Full Disclosure support - Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process. Email Steve for more info: steve@catholicsfightporn.com
• Covenant Eyes accountability software - Get 30 days free at covenanteyes.com | Promo code: CFP
• Wisephone - a safe, locked-down smartphone that's not a flip phone - techless.com/CFP | Promo code: CFP saves $25
• Instagram: @catholicrecovery

If this episode helped you, please leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. It costs you nothing and helps other men find this content when they need it most.

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Steve O’Connor is Interviewed by Tom Weaver of Come to the Table Ministry.

They discuss emotional sobriety, connection, and an empathy angle related to the 12 Steps.

01:03 Welcome and Retreat Info
03:11 Steve's Story Recovery and Coaching Story
12:47 Why Empathy Matters
14:09 Sobriety Versus Recovery
19:03 Defensiveness and Patience
22:10 Scripts and Being Prepared
24:19 Connection and AVR Practice
26:40 Daily Check In Calls
27:18 Connection Beats Defensiveness
28:04 12 Steps + Empathy Angle
35:00 Emotional Sobriety Defined
37:52 Call Up Stick With Winners
42:31 Keep Recovery Simple
44:42 Make The Call
47:38 Build Your Recovery Team

HELPFUL LINKS:

Tom + Michele Weaver at Come to the Table Ministries:

-Website here.

-Retreats + Conferences here.

-Their Podcast here.

-Email: info@tableministry.com

CATHOLICS FIGHT PORN:

-Join an amazing group of men in the Finally Free Group here.

-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337

-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at: https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP

-Get a sweet, safe, locked-down phone [that's not a flip phone] - Get a Wisephone! Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 -- https://www.techless.com/CFP

-Join the Finally Free Coaching Group: https://www.catholicsfightporn.com/need-help

-Book an Intro Discovery Call with Steve: https://www.catholicsfightporn.com/contact

-Email: steve@catholicsfightporn.com

-Sign up for the email newsletter at the bottom left of catholicsfightporn.com

-Connect with me on Instagram @catholicrecovery

-Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process for those looking for full truth in their relationship. Email Steve for more info.

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What does a sobriety actually look like? In this episode, Steve breaks down the concrete benefits of recovery, not the absence of sin, but the presence of something better. Integrity. Honesty. Hope. Not living a double life.

One of the greatest and most underrated gifts of sobriety is time spent in a state of grace - sometimes longer than a man has experienced since childhood.

If you've been wondering whether recovery is real, it is.

Steve shares some of the many gifts of sobriety and what you actually gain when you quit the behavior.

HELPFUL LINKS:

-Join an amazing group of men in the Finally Free Group here.

-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or here.

-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at: https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP

-Get a sweet, safe, locked-down phone [that's not a flip phone] - Get a Wisephone! Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 -- https://www.techless.com/CFP

-Book an INTRO Call with Steve here.

-Email: steve@catholicsfightporn.com

-Sign up for the email newsletter at the bottom left of catholicsfightporn.com

-Connect with me on Instagram @catholicrecovery

-Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process for those looking for full truth in their relationship. Email Steve for more info.

-Donate to CFP to support this work here.

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We talk a lot about men and p*rnography. But what about the woman sitting three rows back in the same parish, carrying the same secret, with nowhere to turn? And what about the betrayed husband who just discovered his wife is the one struggling?

In this episode, Steve sits down with Rachael Killackey, founder and executive director of Magdala Ministries and author of Love in Recovery, to have an important conversation. Women struggle with p*rn too. And the way they struggle, the way they hide, and the way they heal is not the same as men.

This episode is for the woman who needs help and hope. It's for the betrayed husband who just found out his wife is the one struggling. And it's for every priest and counselor who wants to serve the whole room, not just half of it.

In this episode we cover:

• How Rachael founded Magdala Ministries and why she chose Mary Magdalene as its patron
• Statistics on women and p*rn
• How shame hits differently for women, including what often happens when they bring this to confession
• Women's pathways into p*rn, including visual content, erotica, hookup culture, and the growing threat of AI
• How women heal
• The core wounds beneath the behavior and what men and women actually share at the root
• Betrayal trauma when the roles are reversed, what the betrayed husband experiences and what he needs

Episode Timestamps:

• 01:12 — Saint of the Day
• 04:13 — Meet Rachael Killackey
• 05:52 — Founding Magdala
• 07:30 — Why Mary Magdalene
• 09:22 — Women and P*rnography, The Reality
• 10:51 — The Statistics on Women's Use
• 12:23 — Shame and the Confessional
• 17:05 — Breaking Isolation Together
• 20:26 — Women's Hook, Imagination and Erotica
• 22:46 — Prayer as Rewiring
• 23:45 — Hookup Culture and Its Fallout
• 26:30 — Culture, Access, and Normalization
• 29:53 — How Women Heal
• 32:29 — Mary, Surrender, and the Path Forward
• 35:20 — The Core Wounds Beneath the Behavior
• 37:26 — When the Husband Is the Betrayed Spouse
• 43:35 — What Magdala Ministries Offers
• 45:22 — Love in Recovery and Words of Hope

About Rachael Killackey: Rachael Killackey is the founder and executive director of Magdala Ministries, the first Catholic ministry of its kind specifically for women healing from sexual addiction. She holds bachelor's and master's degrees in theology from Ave Maria University, is pursuing her certification in sex addiction therapy, and has personally walked with over a thousand women through stories of shame, secrecy, and healing. Her book Love in Recovery is available through Ave Maria Press.

🌐 magdalaministries.org 📖 Love in Recovery - avemariapress.com

HELPFUL LINKS:

-Join amazing groups of men in the Finally Free Group here.

-Get daily CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or here.

-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at: https://www.covenanteyes.com
CODE: CFP

-Get a Wisephone! Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 -https://www.techless.com/CFP

-Book an INTRO Call with Steve here.

-Email: steve@catholicsfightporn.com

-Sign up for the email newsletter

-Donate to CFP

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In 2025, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops released Create in Me a Pure Heart- a landmark document addressing p*rnography, its devastation, and the Church's responsibility to respond.

In this follow-up conversation with Joshua Urrutia, we go beyond the document itself and into the realities it names: the loneliness driving individuals to p*rnography in the first place, the p*rnography industry's deliberate targeting of children, the betrayal trauma impact on marriages, and what it actually looks like to walk toward healing in all of it.

00:58 Episode Welcome and Guest

01:39 Saints and Recovery Themes

04:09 Bishops Document Overview

05:11 Key Takeaways Loneliness Trauma

06:37 P*rn and Loneliness Stats

11:09 Isolation and Inner Child

15:23 Grooming and Tech Access

18:37 Phone Safeguards and Tools

22:30 Neuroscience of Addiction

25:15 Dopamine And Denial

25:50 Neurobiology Visual Tools

26:58 Betrayal Trauma Explained

28:12 D-Day Discovery Shock

30:41 Patience And Living Amends

33:47 Support Groups And Disclosure

36:23 Helping Others Stay Free

38:45 Practical Recovery Strategies

41:08 Church And Family Action

45:05 Resources And Farewell

Referenced in this episode: Create in Me a Pure Heart document— United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2025 Available at usccb.org

About Joshua Urrutia: Joshua Urrutia is a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate and ASAT Candidate with Intuitus Group in Texas. He holds a Master's in Counseling from Divine Mercy University, is EMDR trained, and is a verified member of the Catholic Psychotherapy Association. Joshua works with individuals and couples navigating compulsive sexual behavior, betrayal trauma, and the intersection of faith and mental health.

Website: intuitus-group.com

Phone: (512) 650-8018

Email: joshua@intuitus-group.com

HELPFUL LINKS:

-Join an amazing group of men in the Finally Free Group here.

-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or here.

-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at: https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP

-Get a sweet, safe, locked-down phone [that's not a flip phone] - Get a Wisephone! Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 -- https://www.techless.com/CFP

-Book an INTRO Call with Steve here.

-Email: steve@catholicsfightporn.com

-Sign up for the email newsletter at the bottom left of catholicsfightporn.com

-Connect with me on Instagram @catholicrecovery

-Steve and a betrayed partner coach guide couples through the Full Disclosure process for those looking for full truth in their relationship. Email Steve for more info.

-Donate to CFP

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Steve O’Connor hosts special guest Casey Allison, founder of Come Awake Coaching and Consulting.

Casey is a Master Certified Coach through ICF, an APSATS-certified Partner Coach, a Certified Disclosure Guide through Kintsugi Recovery Partners, a PSAP through IITAP, and a Brainspotting practitioner. She also has training in the perinatal period with betrayed women, and additional training to support partners of sex addicts who have criminally sexually offended, whether they’ve been charged or not. She holds many other trainings and certifications as well.

Casey shares how discovering her husband’s secret sexual life led her, after years of ineffective help and multiple practitioners, to find betrayal-trauma-informed support and eventually serve women navigating betrayal, pregnancy/new motherhood, and cases involving sexual offending. They discuss how uninformed resources can harm partners by blaming them, and share indicators of good support: prioritizing safety and stabilization, validating grief and anger, and aiming for post-traumatic growth rather than “going back.”

They emphasize the importance of truth and a collaborative Full Disclosure, including the Partner Impact Statement and Emotional Restitution letter, to restore mutuality, reduce shame, and foster empathy.

Casey shares about her Catholic women’s Facebook group and her coaching groups, and offers hope that healing is possible. Tune in and share!

Time Stamps:
Show Intro
01:13 Saint of the Day Reflection - St. John Baptist de LaSalle as a model of radical surrender
03:25 Meet Casey Allison
04:56 Casey's Story and Calling
08:13 Finding Trauma Informed Help
11:51 Safety, Stabilization, Grief, Anger and Growth
14:24 Why Full Disclosure Matters
17:21 Team Based Disclosure Support
22:04 Power, Control and Mutuality
25:06 Impact and Restitution Letters
29:47 Catholic Women Facebook Community
33:41 Casey Groups and Programs
38:29 Closing Hope and Next Steps

Links for Casey:

Free initial consultation: https://www.comeawakecoach.org/p/packages_4.html

Support groups: https://www.comeawakecoach.org/p/community.html

Workshops and Events: https://www.comeawakecoach.org/p/promotions.html

Digital Resources: https://comeawakeresources.company.site/

Released to Heal Group (starting April 15th): https://www.comeawakecoach.org/p/released-to-heal-support-group.html

HELPFUL CFP LINKS:

-Join an amazing group of men in the Finally Free Group here.

-Get daily, uplifting CFP BOOST Texts by texting SUPPORT to (941) 279-2337 or here.

-For 30 days Free of Covenant Eyes, sign up at: https://www.covenanteyes.com
PROMO CODE: CFP

-Get a safe, locked-down phone - a Wisephone! Use Promo Code: CFP to save $25 - https://www.techless.com/CFP

-Book an INTRO Call with Steve here.

-Email: steve@catholicsfightporn.com

-Sign up for the Email Newsletter at the website

-Donate to CFP