If Not For You cover art

If Not For You

A Memoir

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About this listen

 'If I were to look closely at the jagged edges of my fragmented heart, I'm sure I'd see that some spaces now shine with gold. And that is what he left for me.'
_______________________

'An extraordinarily brave, honest and tender book' RACHEL CLARKE

'Full of strength and hope' KATE MOSSE

'The most beautiful thing I have ever read' TOM BRADBY

'Extraordinary' ANITA RANI, WOMAN'S HOUR

On the 17th November 2019, Grey Atticus Fox was born, nine weeks early, to Georgie and Mike in a Kent hospital.
Heart wrenching, cathartic, life-affirming, this is her account of the 21 days they had together, and its aftermath - the search to make sense of unimaginable loss. It bears witness to both the confusion and the clarity that accompany great pain, and stands as a testament to empathy, care and humanity when life is at its hardest.

'He was looked after by strangers who became family, and he saw more kindness, more love, in twenty-one days than some might see in a lifetime. For his brief moments in this world, he experienced all of the very best things it can offer.'

Georgie's spare, intimate and at times surprisingly comic writing offers an extraordinary message of hope. If Not For You is about the redeeming power of love, even in our darkest hour.

'Hypnotic' MAIL ON SUNDAY

''Profoundly moving' TIMES2

'A testimony to empathy, care and humanity when life is at its hardest' STYLIST


'I cannot stop thinking about it' LUCY FOLEY

'An unflinching and beautiful book' SOPHIE KINSELLA

'Georgie Lucas writes superbly' MIRIAM STOPPARD©2022 Georgie Lucas Grief & Loss Personal Development Relationships Memoir Heartfelt

Critic reviews

Heart-breaking, beautiful, important, full of integrity, powerful and honest, inspiring and full of the wonder of women and love... In bits but also full of admiration... Georgie is a wonderful writer, clear and honest, but never sentimental, and she lets all the other people going through this terrible time with her shine as well... Full of strength and hope, and I've no doubt will both help many and also give comfort to other mothers & fathers who have lost a child
This quietly devastating account of birth, pain and loss is gripping. As I read, I was lost in the quiet, tense atmosphere of Grey's story. Georgina Lucas portrays the world of the NICU in minute, often poetic detail, finding warmth and humour when life seems bleakest. It is an unflinching and beautiful book, ending on a note of light and love in a way that should inspire us all.
An extraordinary read... This tender, exquisite memoir explores devastating loss and grief, yes, but most of all it is a book about the surpassing, redemptive power of love... I cannot stop thinking about it
I finished reading this yesterday in a welter of emotions and not a few tears. I think that this is an amazing story, delicately but powerfully told. Georgina's observations of people, places and events ring so true - they are so often searingly accurate and also so wonderfully compassionate. Despite what could be an inexorably sad story I'm interested that the words I wrote down as I read it are all positive: optimism / hope / strength / power / love. It is my firm belief that immortality is being remembered by those who loved us and Greyman undoubtedly will continue to be remembered and celebrated.
Wow. That has been a heart-wrenching few hours' reading - difficult to read with streaming eyes! It's an incredibly sad but in some ways, also a truly beautiful story. It is heart-breaking in the sense of loss and tragedy, but also uplifting in the way the love sings from each page. Really quite extraordinary.
Georgie Lucas writes superbly with her spare, and unsentimental prose
This is the most beautiful thing I have ever read; a heart-breaking account of a tragic death that is also a profound, lyrical, sometimes funny and ultimately joyful meditation on the meaning of life. The book of the year, perhaps the decade.
Beautifully written, searingly honest and profoundly uplifting, this is a book to remind us what is most important in life; a book for anyone who has suffered a loss, or ever will... In short, it is a book for everyone
All stars
Most relevant
I didn’t know what to expect when I started listening - such a difficult thing for someone to write about. However, this was amazing from start to finish. So beautifully and sensitively written. I highly recommend this.

Beautifully written

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Pathos heartache loss bravery and Angels
A story of life that could never be and a decision to let go. Just kept me listening.
To Gray hopefully twinkling in the nite sky.
To our awesome NHS nurses doctors and staff.

Gray If not for you

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I did enjoy listening to this audible. However, it was a very sad read. Lots of tears as I listened but it did make me reflect on my life, my experiences, friendships and my kindness and generosity towards others.

A very sad read

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I implore anyone and everyone to read If Not For You. This book has had the most profound impact on me and Grey's story is told so beautifully, there is no way to do justice to Georgie's immense talent as a writer. How brave of you to share this story with us Georgie and what a gift you have given us and Grey in doing so.

An absolute masterpiece

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There are no words that could express my love for this book. A tribute to an incredible little boy, his incredible family and the power of love. It cuddled me in its warmth, it lifted me with its humour, it broke me with its purity and reality. Like meeting Grey did....its words have changed me forever. I too can feel some gold in my heart thanks to you. Georgie it is simply beautiful and a celebration of the person that you are. This book will help so many as they too navigate their Goat Path.

simply incredible. For Grey - only love x

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