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How to Be Yourself

Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety
Narrated by: Ellen Hendriksen
Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (241 ratings)

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Summary

How to Be Yourself is the best audiobook you'll ever listen to about how to conquer social anxiety.

"...a groundbreaking road map to finally being your true, authentic self." - Susan Cain, New York Times and USA Today best-selling author of Quiet

Up to 40% of people consider themselves shy. You might say you're introverted or awkward, or that you're fine around friends but just can't speak up in a meeting or at a party. Maybe you're usually confident but have recently moved or started a new job, only to feel isolated and unsure.

If you get nervous in social situations - meeting your partner's friends, public speaking, standing awkwardly in the elevator with your boss - you've probably been told, "Just be yourself!" But that's easier said than done - especially if you're prone to social anxiety.

Weaving together cutting-edge science, concrete tips, and the compelling stories of real people who have risen above their social anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen proposes a groundbreaking idea: you already have everything you need to succeed in any unfamiliar social situation. As someone who lives with social anxiety, Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping her clients overcome the same obstacles she has.

With familiarity, humor, and authority, Dr. Hendriksen takes the listener through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and - at long last - exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, "Everyone will judge you." Using her techniques to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, you can finally be your true, authentic self.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.

©2018 Ellen Hendriksen (P)2018 Macmillan Audio

What members say

Average customer ratings

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A great read

Humorous, well written and scientifically based self help book. A great read for anyone who suffers from anxiety with lots of tools to help you get back on track. Loved it.

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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Amazing book

All the way from the beginning to end of this book, I found amazing advices, relatable examples, interesting stories and very clear and comprehensive theoretical frameworks. The boom is read with a very cheerful voice and the message is delivered very positively. Bringing all these elements together helped me to fully understand the message and to easily apply the advices.

This book is great for everyone who wants to go out there and just be yourself with ease.

Huge well done to the author!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Life changing listen!

After suffering with what I didn’t understand to be social anxiety for over 10 years. This book has helped to guide me towards a place I never thought I would find again. It has hit on many nerves and opened up a whole new world that I had shut myself away from.

I am sharing my learnings from this with others it’s a gift that keeps on giving.

Can’t thank the author enough! I feel like I have a second chance to live my life and be happy.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Phoebe
  • Copenhagen, Denmark
  • 14-04-18

sooo relatable

what i needed to change my perespective on social anxiety and take away the stigma.

5 of 6 people found this review helpful

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Fully recommend - the best Social Anxiety resource I have come across

Having utilised many resources on the topic of social anxiety, this book is the first that really felt like it was talking to me. Dr Hendriksen’s relaxed and humorous approach made it very easy to listen to the audiobook and it is backed throughout by scientific research which makes the insights and tools extremely credible. It has helped me understand myself better and there are many “ah ha” moments throughout. It doesn’t claim to cure social anxiety and convert you to a confident extrovert, but to help you recognise and manage Social Anxiety and to stop it controlling aspects of your life. If, like me, you’ve struggled to find a resource that really helps you understand why you struggle to be yourself in group or social situations and how to deal with it, then I recommend this book.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Very relatable!

Very helpful and relatable book for social anxiety. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would recommend.

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Great!!

Helpful if anxious in any way. Great ideas and suggestions to take those steps to feeling "normal".

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Great Book

Really well written with useful practical skills for tactically this thing. I would reccommend it

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it's not just me!!

Fantastic, so many of the stories are relatable, the things we do to protect ourselves are actually holding us back and causing our anxiety and lack of confidence. I highly recommend this, it gives you tools and methods to break through the social anxiety that keeps you down and prevents the world from seeing the real you.

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Disappointing

I am disappointed with this, In was looking for something way more. More positive, proactive and with more substance. I am finding it to be a bit of a whinge fest

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  • Anonymous User
  • 25-08-18

Best book on social anxiety I have come across!

loved it!! I came across this book at a very difficult time in my life. I have suffered from anxiety for 18yrs. That combined with hard situations in life I was at a very lost point. The stories in this book felt familiar and the lessons and advise felt real and tangible. I have started applying things I have learned in this book to the way I do and handle things and for the first time in a long time I truly feel better. I am not cured but after this book I feel more determined to learn more, live more and figure out how to work with who I am so I can finally live my best life. If you have Social Anxiety, read this book!!! Or listen to this book, just get it in asap so you can start your healing process.. I'm on my way and this book was a clear starting point for me!

10 of 10 people found this review helpful

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  • Lisa
  • 22-05-18

"Life" Changing

First off, I don't write reviews. I don't have the time. But the audio version of this book has made me such a braver, better person, I felt compelled to add a review so it might help someone else like me. For once, I'm not afraid and I feel like I'm living and not just going through the motions. I chose this book because of the title. I do feel like a fake most of the time. Always saying or acting the way I think others would expect me too. I remember my Mom being hyper aware of how others viewed her and her family and I picked up on that and didn't even realize. I didn't know I had social anxiety, but every example in this book sounded like me. I don't sleep well because I'll wake up in the middle of the night replaying things I did during the day. Things I could have done or said better than I did. And then the stress kicks in and the next thing I know I've laid awake for two hours pondering something that should have not been given a second thought. This book made me aware of what I was doing and I am falling back asleep quicker than ever before. It also gave me several different tools to help overcome my negative thoughts. And for once, it's not unrealistic tools that don't work. For once, they are working. Now when I start to replay a scenario, I think about Ellen's "movie theatre" scenario. And if that doesn't work. I put my inner critic on trial. A bonus was her chapter on "how to make friends." I've always avoided relationships for fear that someone would find out I'm not who I really am. But now I feel compelled to connect with someone on a friendship level. I highly recommend purchasing the audio version of this book. Ellen does a phenomenal job narrating and I honestly feel like I was sitting in her office at times. But instead of paying $$$ for a therapy session, I got so much more by purchasing this book. If you ever feel awkward in any type of social situation, you must read/listen to the book. It's a game/life changer.

31 of 34 people found this review helpful

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  • Kerry Young
  • 30-07-18

Exactly what I needed

I’ve read several books on social anxiety, but of all of them, this one feels like it was written just for me. Ellen Hendriksen gets it. If you have social anxiety I highly highly recommend reading this book.

Before buying the book I read some comments about the author wanting to change introverts but that’s just not the case at all. I even looked for any indication that that’s what she was doing but couldn’t find it. I’m not quite sure where those comments are coming from so please don’t let that keep you from giving this book a shot.

Mrs. Hendriksen, thank you for writing this book. It’s everything I needed to hear and changed the way I looked at many things. Every chapter was perfect but the final chapter on popularity really struck me. I’m 37 and am not as concerned with popularity as I was when I was 16 years old but I teared up during that chapter. I’m planning to share it with my two children as, even in elementary school, popularity is already a concern.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Abed
  • 14-01-19

Life-changing

I have always struggled with having a conversation, even with the closest people in my life. Funny enough, the only people I am quite confident talking to are my brother and sister who I have spent a lot of time with. But, yes, I fumble through conversations, trying to speak the right words and in the process sound gibberish.. which makes me more anxious and sweaty and freaked out. This book has literally pushed me out of my comfort zone and into what I dread the most, conversations. Midway through this book, I walked out of my room and struck a conversation with a student sitting in the lounge. I cared not how awkward I looked. It was the most eye opening, genuine conversation I have ever had in a long, long while. I can't wait to meet new people and challenge myself in the very situations that limited me in the past(rather it's I who limited myself)... As a matter of fact, I came out of it feeling AWESOME! I highly recommend this audiobook to anyone who has faced social anxiety in their life for whatever reasons. I would have loved to highlight my reasons for my anxiety now but I am learning as the day goes by. I will update this comment accordingly when I have established those reasons sufficiently.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • K. Miller
  • 25-08-18

Just be you- just be kind

This book was easy to listen too with many helpful tips on how to be yourself

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Yasmin Morrison
  • 28-11-18

Life-changing Book

This is the real deal. I've struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I've read countless other books about confidence and social skills, and they were only band-aids that never got to the root of the issue. This one is different. I couldn't put it down -- it was exactly what I needed to understand where my fears come from and how to overcome them. I'm actually *excited* to try things that would have made me cringe before. If you struggle with social anxiety, please read this!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-05-18

Lots of filling

The useful information can be summed up in 2 pages but of course you need 200 pages to publish a book.

I recommend you to google "social anxiety treatment" and any of the first websites sums up all the useful information presented in this book

13 of 21 people found this review helpful

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  • Ariel Jackson
  • 03-06-19

many jewels

I come off as confident but struggle with anxiety. this book spoke to the intricacies of what it means to be anxious. I enjoyed the stories and appreciate the overview of studies borrowed from other academics and professions. many jewels in this book that ease anxiety and most importantly let's you know that you're not alone.

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  • QueenBee
  • 29-05-19

Well told self help book

there's a piece for everyone to draw from in all levels of social anxiety.. and the tips help conquer anxiety as a whole

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-05-19

Amazing read!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. The author was lively and engaging and the content itself was excellent. She had great tips to overcome social anxiety that I've been using to change my life. Would highly recommend if you're shy or socially anxious, it won't disappoint!