Are You Mad At Me? cover art

Are You Mad At Me?

How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You

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Are You Mad At Me?

By: Meg Josephson
Narrated by: Meg Josephson
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Are you constantly worried about what people think of you? Psychotherapist Meg Josephson explores the common survival instinct fawning and offers explanations, comfort and solutions. If you ever:

Leave social situations overthinking something you’ve said
Overlook your own boundaries to make other people happy
Struggle to say what you really want – even to yourself

You might be fawning.

In Are You Mad at Me? Meg challenges the idea that people-pleasing is a personality trait, exposing it to be an instinct learned in childhood to become more appealing to a perceived threat in order to feel safe. Yet many people are stuck in this way of being for their whole lives.

Weaving her own moving story with case studies and thought-provoking exercises, Meg will show you how to identify your needs, rethink conflict and build stronger connections: empowering you to stop focusing on what others think and start living for you.

'A cure for chronic people-pleasing' Adam Grant, author of THINK AGAIN

'This book will feel like coming up for air. Read it and get free' Katherine Morgan Schafler, author of THE PERFECTIONIST'S GUIDE TO LOSING CONTROL

'I can count on one hand the books that have settles my nervous system within the first three pages of reading. It's so rare to be able to say: I needed this book, me too, thank you.' Holly Whitaker, author of QUIT LIKE A WOMAN

© Meg Josephson 2025 (P) Simon and Schuster LLC 2025

 Emotions Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Self-Esteem

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Critic reviews

I can count on one hand the books that have settled my nervous system within the first three pages of reading. It’s so rare to be able to say: I needed this book, me too, thank you. (Holly Whitaker, author of QUIT LIKE A WOMAN)
Are You Mad at Me unlocks a secret door in the house of healing: understanding the fawn response. Honest, relatable, and totally binge-worthy, Josephson's work has the power to change your entire life. If you struggle with that screensaver type of anxiety that's always on - constantly worrying that you're doing something wrong or that people don't like you - this book will feel like coming up for air. Read it and get free. (Katherine Morgan Schafler, author of THE PERFECTIONIST'S GUIDE TO LOSING CONTROL)
This book offers a cure for chronic people pleasing. If you’ve ever compromised your principles to gain another person’s approval, Meg Josephson is here to help with revealing insight and sage advice (Adam Grant, author of Think Again)
Was Are You Mad at Me? written especially for me? It sure felt like it. For all the people-pleasers, peacekeepers, and fawners out there: Read this book now. My copy is already well-thumbed and heavily underlined--and, no, you can't borrow it! The book, brimming with wisdom and humanity, helped me change my relationship with myself by understanding the patterns of the past that I was still living out today. Thank you, Meg, for freeing me from so much I had buried. It is no overestimation to say that this book is a gamechanger (Susannah Cahalan, author of BRAIN ON FIRE)
Hallelujah—at last, salvation for all of us who’ve ever agonized over an awkward text exchange, wondered if we embarrassed ourselves at a party, or become convinced that a friendship cooling meant we’d unwittingly committed some grave sin. Meg Josephson’s instant self-help classic is wise, actionable, and could change your life (Ada Calhoun, author of WHY WE CAN'T SLEEP)
Meg Josephson has given the world a huge gift in Are You Mad at Me? For all of us who've spent our lives feeling like we were in trouble—with friends, bosses, spouses, children, everyone—this book offers explanations, comfort, and best of all, solutions. I'm grateful this book exists because I needed Josephson's gentle wisdom and empowering message now more than ever (Christie Tate, author of GROUP)
Psychotherapist Josephson debuts with a cogent exploration of the least-known yet ‘arguably most common’ threat response: fawning…. Josephson’s lucid prose and smart mix of clinical expertise, personal disclosure, and pertinent case studies makes for a uniquely actionable resource. She also provides an insightful look at the cultural factors that influence fawning…Recovering people pleasers will find plenty to chew on
All stars
Most relevant
Enjoyed the book and the way of addressing my actions. I would however have liked more information on how this affects men. Almost every example and therefore action was from a female view point. Men also fall into this. The reaction can also be painful with men sensing weakness and feeding on this. It didn't stop me enjoying the book, I just felt I could have got more from it.

Clear instructions on how to reset and identify your actions.

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