Csaba Méra
AUTHOR

Csaba Méra

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Csaba was born a few years after the end of the second World War in Szeged, Hungary. His father Zoltan grew up in Transylvania, which was formerly a part of Hungary. Zoltan grew up struggling, along with 1.5 million Hungarians after World War I, when the region was taken over by the oppressive Romanian government. With love and profound dedication, Zoltan’s widowed, impoverished mother supported his passion and drive to become a physician. During World War II, Zoltan was a physician in the Hungarian military that was pushed forward by the Nazi regime acting as its front line of attack into Russia. He was an inspiration to the many young, inexperienced soldiers and saved many lives during the war. As World War II was ending, the German military destroyed key locations as they retreated through Hungary, while the Russian forces added to the destruction in their efforts to push through Hungary to defeat the Nazi regime. It was under these circumstances that Zoltan ended up in Szeged, in southern Hungary and became a leading trauma surgeon in the city’s largest hospital. It was during these difficult times that Zoltan met Klara during a modest debutante event, when many struggling families were hoping to find a caring life companion for their daughters. Klara was a very bright and talented young actress and singer, and was recognized nationally for her talents. However, all of that had been suppressed during the brutal times of war and its aftermath. After getting to know each other over a few months, Zoltan proposed to Klara, and although she was much younger than Zoltan, her family gave their blessing and the two of them were married. Just over a year later, their first son was born, whom they named Csaba, after the youngest son of Attila the Hun. Csaba became a popular name for newborns as a rebuke by Hungarians to the oppression and mistreatment by the authoritarian communist regime, as a satellite nation of the Soviet Union. Csaba was a feisty infant and needed plenty of attention and corrections. During his second year of life, Csaba became very ill and was hospitalized with a medical problem that would not be identified till decades later: hemolytic uremic syndrome. He received intensive care services and his parents were warned that he may not survive. But because he was named after Prince Csaba, who never lost a battle, that most certainly was not going to happen! At the age of seven, he escaped with his mother and younger brother, fleeing to Austria in the middle of the night, as the Soviets crushed the 1956 Hungarian revolution with an iron fist. Zoltan, Csaba’s father, had left earlier to prepare for what was to come. The family was reunited in Austria and were accepted on the British refugee quota in early 1957. A shy, self-conscious introvert, Csaba did his best to learn the new language and the customs of his peers in elementary school. He was ridiculed early on and ended up in a couple of fights with students who passed along their parents’ resentment of the Hungarian refugees; the so-called state supported foreigners. Csaba passed the Eleven-plus examination in the last year of primary school, which allowed him admission to an all-boys grammar school. Uniforms, strict behavior codes, and rigorous academic expectations were the norms in British grammar schools. Csaba was keen to comply and succeed academically. After the first year, he was a topper among the 90 or so fellow students in academic standing, greeted with a certain mix of admiration and underlying resentment by students and teachers alike. Meanwhile, having passed the required certification examinations for foreign physicians entering the country, Zoltan had become head of emergency medical services and trauma surgery at the hospital in their hometown of Caerphilly in South Wales. However, ultimately, Zoltan was not pleased with the way the healthcare system functioned in the UK and made the decision to take on private practice in Saskatchewan, Canada. Csaba’s mother had struggled with mental health issues over the years and would be absent from home for several days at a time. It was during one of these absences that Zoltan and Szabolcs, Csaba’s younger brother, headed off to Canada, leaving Csaba by himself, at the age of 15, so he could finish out the school year. A few days later, Klara came back home and was in bad shape. Csaba took care of her, cooked, and cleaned the home-and of course, did his schoolwork. Finally, he made the decision not to finish the school year, but to join his father and brother in Canada. Csaba’s mother and he went to London to get passport updates and visa clearances - within a week, they were in the air, flying to Canada. Since they arrived late in the school year, Csaba learned that he could challenge grade 12 subjects by passing the final exam. He arduously studied at home and successfully passed the exams. The following year, while away at boarding school, his mother committed suicide. This was her second attempt and she succeeded, leaving behind a crushed family who had loved her so much, even during her challenging times with erratic behavior. Even as he struggled with trying to understand and deal with his mother’s demise, he drove on in his studies. He continued on an accelerated academic path and completed his premedical degree, entering medical school at the age of 18. He married at the age of 19. His wife and he had two boys during medical school in Loma Linda, California. After an internship in pediatrics, his wife and he divorced, but Csaba stayed close to his family, making sure he stayed connected with his two boys. Csaba worked as an emergency medicine physician and two years after his wife and him divorcing, they remarried. That lasted for four years and they divorced again. . Csaba moved to Toronto, Canada, where he completed his pediatric training and also completed his pediatric hematology oncology fellowship. He married a pediatric oncology nurse and after finishing his fellowship, they moved together to California, where Csaba joined a multispecialty medical practice. A baby boy joined Csaba and his wife during their first year back in California. However, at nine months of age, the infant developed a serious, unidentified illness and died two days later. Recovering from this traumatic episode in their lives, Csaba’s wife and he had two more healthy baby boys and raised them together. During the time raising the two lads from the second marriage, Csaba practiced pediatrics and pediatric hematology oncology in several settings: multispecialty clinic, solo practice, and finally in a staff model clinic in Southern California, where he held a number of executive level clinical leadership positions. Csaba worked as a senior leader in various healthcare industry settings and in a number of consulting roles. His goal has always been to improve healthcare services to the people being served. Csaba’s father, Zoltan, married many years after Klara’s suicide. Zoltan lived in Canada with his second wife for twenty years, where he did solo practice as a family physician and surgeon. One morning, when his wife drove to work, after she got out of her car, she collapsed with a massive stroke and had to be put on life support. Based on previous agreements they had made, under these circumstances, she did not want to be maintained on life support and wanted to donate her organs to patients who needed them. Seven people benefited from her decision. Zoltan was profoundly impacted by this heart-wrenching event in his life and came down to California, where he lived with Csaba and his family for a year. Csaba and Zoltan worked on a similar arrangement as with Zoltan’s wife, except for organ donation, due to his age not being appropriate as a donor. Over the next three years, Csaba closely supported Zoltan during his dear father’s steady decline into a deep state of Alzheimer’s dementia and kidney failure until his ultimate, inevitable demise. Csaba had previously taken his mother’s ashes back to Hungary to be united in a family columbarium. Zoltan had no family left in Europe, so Csaba buried his ashes next to a magnificent Douglas fir in Forest Park, in Portland, Oregon, along with the ashes of his organ donor wife. Csaba and his family moved to Portland, Oregon, where Csaba was a physician leader at two health insurance companies. When their two boys were teenagers, his second wife and he divorced. After yet another painful life experience, Csaba decided not to get back into the complicated interpersonal relationship space of marriage, and decided to just stay single. That lasted for two years and he finally decided, in atypical form, to try something different. Csaba always had a great admiration for China, after having watched a brilliant ten-part British series called The Heart of the Dragon. So, he found the most secure online dating site for international relationships and dated his present Chinese wife for a year, with several visits to China and adventures with her all over the country. He facilitated his wife’s immigration to the US on a fiancé visa and in January 2007, two weeks after she and her 12-year-old daughter arrived, they were married. Their respect and love for each other continues to grow and flourish. For more information on Csaba, visit csabamera.com or follow his Facebook Page Csaba The Mad Hungarian csabamera.com https://www.facebook.com/csabathemadhungarian
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