Showing results by publisher "Podium Audio" in Satire

It was just supposed to be a quick trip to the pet store for some cat food, but the universe had other plans for Florence Valentine. Good for nothing kids and some annoying store employees were giving her a hard time, and then things got worse when she was killed by a delivery truck. Instead of angels, pearly gates, and eternal rewards, a voice in her head keeps telling her that she’s become a dungeon core, whatever that is.

After establishing the Society of Assured Prosperity and successfully disguising his insurance business as a charity, Willem heads to the capital of the kingdom to expand into a new market....

Tyson Dawes is back from the dead! Broke, lost, and more pissed off than ever. Once the legendary leader of Silken Sands, Tyson's name echoed across the multiverse as the Windowpuncher, the man who tore down the Church of BuyMort and carved out an affiliate that stood for more than just profit margins. But that was a century ago. Betrayed, left to rot in the void, and stripped of everything, Tyson wakes to find his empire gone, his legacy twisted, and the people he cared about most lost to time. But Tyson isn't one to stay down for long.

After pacifying the old Earth underground military base and defeating the Sleem, Tyson Dawes and Silken Sands are flush with new items and morties. But the Dearth Conglomerate has been circling over them in Arizona, and they want his land. Which wouldn't be such a problem if the boss weren't such an incompetent and spoiled child.

Get ready for a hostile takeover of epic proportions. In BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem, the end isn't nigh—it's been leveraged, securitized, and is ready to liquidate. Say your prayers and check your credit score because when the celestial ledger closes, you'll want to make sure your cosmic assets are diversified.

After too many lifetimes to count slaying demons and grinding levels, prophesied hero Kaito finally tells destiny where to shove it. He's done. When dimensional portal number seventeen drops him in front of an enthralled king begging him to vanquish the looming Dark Army, he does what any retired adventurer would do—politely refuses and heads off to focus on the simple pleasures of life: community, and getting his taxes done on time.

People may call me an "overachieving ice queen," but I would do anything for the people I love. So when my friends ask me to host an event at their famous farm, I'm more than happy to help… until I discover I've been set up.

I never wanted any of this. Sure, I'll take the universe-shattering powers—who wouldn't? But there's always a bloody price. You don't inherit the ability to bend creation to your will and get to ride off into the sunset. Oh no, every power-hungry dickhead in the universe wants a piece of the action, especially the former God of Creation. Not that I asked for the title—or any of the mess that comes with it. But, if I want to achieve my dream of being left the hell alone, it's going to cost me. And that price? Pain… so much pain.

Jack Woodson was a thermal design engineer for four years until he was laid off from his job. Now, as a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn't changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day. Learn Me Good is a hilarious first-person account, inspired by real life experiences.

He's the current bane of my existence… and the hot monster haunting my dreams. Maybe if he weren't also the single father of one of my students, I'd be okay with the evening jaunts into the skankier parts of my subconscious, even though nothing ever goes anywhere. I mean, a private elementary school teacher has to relieve stress somehow, right?

I knew the terms: marry a stranger on the spot, handpicked by experts just for me. But that's not what's happening. My bride is no stranger. And she's wearing a black dress reminiscent of the one she wore the last time we spoke… at prom. Surely she's gotten over what happened at prom by now. Except... it only takes me about five minutes to realize she hasn't. And now, I'm married to the one woman I did wrong in my life. But she still trembles at my touch. Either this is about to be the biggest mistake of my life or the greatest second chance in history. And all of America gets to watch it...

I finally met my match, and she doesn't even know my true identity. I'm Italy's most famous actor, seeking refuge from the spotlight after my public breakup. When my Amalfi Coast getaway is disrupted by a fiery redhead wielding a camera, the exclusive Mare Verde Hotel quickly becomes a battleground. Our meet-hate sparks a whirlwind of clashes, but beneath the animosity lies undeniable chemistry.

Life was simple until Evan, my rock-solid childhood best friend turned dreamy doctor, dropped a bombshell. He wants to cash in on the marriage pact we made as teenagers. Evan's always been there for me, but when he suggests we take our friendship to the next level, I freeze. I can't risk our bond for something more…