The boys try vigorously to give a damn about the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, and speculate the future of a monarchy which really has no power. Then, Harriet Tubman gets a new legacy with a new moniker, conjured up by the brilliant, Red Scare. Serena Williams is another queen which, this week, was laid to rest. Eli Manning has more super bowl rings than the guys' beloved Bears. Then, Teddy and Scotch solve all of California's important issues.

Listen up, you tubby tubs of tub-scum!

Teddy stumbles out of the gate with some annoying technical issues, but runs with it anyway. The boys lay the groundwork for what to never expect from the Scare, in the future. They discuss what it might take to be sad enough to sit in the audience of a prime time game show. Then, Scotch tickles Teddy's tits by reviewing some of the most ridiculous names from young, up and coming rappers.

Listen up, syzurp swallowers!

The boys give lukewarm explanations as to why they've been recently absent. Current affairs aren't cutting it anymore, so Teddy and Scotch devise a new plan for America, that will offset the taxes they're about regurgitate over Biden's college debt forgiveness program. It also might just be the best damn game show anyone's ever thought of.

Listen up, content vampires!

Scotch reveals that he's going to be touching down on the east coast, for the time, and plans to dip his icy big toe into the Atlantic, like it's a double shot of Kessler whiskey. The boys discuss why Brittany Griner might never set foot on American soil again, right after admitting to not giving a damn. Then, fittingly, they pay a tribute to a Boston legend. No, not Larry Bird, but, Bill Burr.

Listen up, lesbian liver lickers!!

After a slight summer vacation, the boys get the band together for a brief little jam session, to kick the cobwebs off before making their triumphant return.

Listen up, groupies!

The boys pay their respects to one of the greatest movies ever made, Goodfellas, and narrowly mention the passing of Ray Liotta. Although he's filled with hate and crap, Teddy details the importance of respecting one's opponent. Scotch gives us a healthy dose of riveting sports trivia, as they pay an obligatory tribute to Tom Brady. Then, the guys have fun with Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.

Listen up, you careless whisperers!

The guys throw their weight around regarding their expertise about being rotund individuals, and whether or not fat men gain penis, while losing weight.  The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue infuriates Teddy, but Scotch was too busy getting screwed in the drive-thru, he forgot that he's large because he loves flavor, not substance. Speaking of no substance;

Listen up, FUPA fruits!

The boys plunge wrist deep into the annals of history by addressing the misconceptions Americans have about Cinco de Mayo. Teddy regales us with a summary of the greatest impromptu comedy lineup ever assembled, which included, Chris Rock, Leslie Jones, Jimmy Carr, Dave Attell, Jeff Ross and Dave Chappelle. Scotch almost cracked his own skull while trying to make an omelet. The guys discuss the rules of bathroom etiquette, in regards to being a good partner to their respective ladies. Elon Musk is one step closer to taking over the world.

Listen up, wet wipes!