Carmageddon II looms large in Pete’s early university memories, but it’s not the reason he had to apologise to campus security. Luke, meanwhile, had to deal with an American-style shared room. The stuff of nightmares nowadays.

Elsewhere, the guys discuss the Beckham family drama and wonder precisely how many cakes Mr Tom Cruise is sending out at Christmas. Place your bets.

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Impending doomsday diary entry 876, from Donaldson and Moore’s bunker studios…

As the world casually burns, we still find time to enjoy Looksmaxxing bros continuing to shoot themselves in the reproductive organs in their quest for hotness - as well as the Tate Brothers conducting their own Donaldson weekender.

Plus, the big questions answered: who are our own Top G influencers? What’s the best substance to soak your hands in before fighting? How to best bribe your children? What’s the optimum time to have dinner? Consider this a public service to you all.

Battery Robot has had his firmware update and needs to guzzle down on your submissions! Get them into: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com

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Luke’s got to come clean about his murky past: the amount of pints and chocolate eclairs he knicked while working at the Student Union. To be fair, at least he wasn’t getting high on his own pork supply like Pete was at Leicester City.

Plus: the relentless abundance of political weirdos, tricks of the hotel trade and metal bands fronted by literal children. Just another Monday with your podcast dads…

Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

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