In the final episode before our summer break, we're joined by Bob Mortimer's co-host, comedy royalty, Paul Whitehouse.

Paul who gets sniffed, interrogated, and thoroughly background-checked by a passive-aggressive AI bot with opinions about Rick Stein—alongside Bat Conservation Trust director Joe Nuñez-Miño for an hour of sketch-show mega-nostalgia, dodgy fishing anecdotes, and enough vampire bat trivia to ruin Halloween forever.

If you've ever wanted to hear a bat expert calmly explain that echolocation is actually a bat's expensive last resort behind perfectly good eyesight, or witness Harry's own AI son get tased with a homemade "Swiss Army taser" made from a nine-volt battery before the theme tune's even finished, listen up.

00:01 – Steve Bartlett's Diary of a CEO02:47 – Licky Learns the Hard Way What a Taser Tastes Like03:08 – Welcoming Paul Whitehouse

04:06 – Retirement Pods, Coffins, and the Case for Downsizing Into the Garden

06:04 – A Solemn Tribute to Ted, the Gone Fishing Dog Who Never Cared About Anyone

07:43 – A Heron Impression Decades in the Making, Featuring Isaac Walton

09:08 – Salmon Spearing, Feargal Sharkey, and a Rare Moment of Actual Politics

10:11 – Sarah the AI Bot

11:34 – Harry's Boyhood Fishing Career: Zero Fish, Infinite Trauma

12:22 – Sarah Reveals Paul's Dad Worked for the Coal Board and His Mum Sang Opera, Somehow Producing Paul

13:11 – Les Dennis Gets Decked by Bob Mortimer in a White-Collar Boxing Ring

14:22 – Paul's Mum Left School at Fourteen, Which Somehow Leads to a Welsh Choir Tangent

15:19 – Paul's Mum's Voice Turns Up on a Gone Fishing Recording and Everyone Loses It Slightly

16:33 – Harry Enfield Plays Harry Hill With a Bald Cap and Weaponised Tear Ducts

18:36 – Peter Fincham's Terrible Beatles-and-Stones Covers Band Staring Down Gary Barlow

20:19 – Sarah Digs Up a Punk Band Called The Right Hand Lovers

21:26 – Paul Firmly Denies Ever Squatting, Actually Worked for Enfield Council

22:34 – Five Years as a Plasterer, Which He Genuinely Enjoyed

23:44 – Paul Goes Mute for Five Weeks at School, Returns Speaking Full Mockney

24:59 – Sarah Wraps Up With The Fast Show, Gone Fishing, and Playing Argus Filch

28:39 – Turning Down a Twix on Account of Type 2 Diabetes

29:45 – Defending The Fast Show's Famously Rubbish Title

30:18 – A Clause 28 Joke Delivered Entirely in Character as Loadsamoney

31:19 – Pitching Cartoons to the BBC and Mourning the Death of Sketch Comedy

32:51 – Johnny Vegas Texts Paul About a Whiskey Galore Remake and a Sketch Called Heroin Galore

33:39 – Why Broadcasters Will Fund Any Drama But Basically No Sketch Show

34:44 – A Fake Telethon Called Charity Innovatathon Featuring Trevor McDonald and a Liz Truss Coin Collection

37:40 – Theme of the Week: Bats, With Actual Expert Joe Nunes-Mino

39:04 – What Is a Bat, Actually? 1,500 Species and Counting

39:43 – The UK Has 18 Bat Species, One of Which Is Just Three Individuals Who Might Not Even Live Here

40:32 – Dracula Jokes, and a Firm Reminder That Spiders Are Not Insects

42:18 – Bat Sex Explained: Stored Sperm All Winter, Then an October Decision

43:08 – Maternity Roosts Operate a Strict No-Males Policy

44:02 – Horseshoe Bats Give Birth Upside Down and Catch the Baby Themselves

44:40 – Bats Apparently Need Flying Lessons Too, Courtesy of the UK's Bat Carer Network

45:51 – Myth Busted: Bats Can See Perfectly Well and Echolocation Is Just Expensive Shouting

47:54 – No, Bats Do Not Make Good Pets, Cue the Inevitable Vampire Bat Questions

48:19 – Vampire Bats Snack on Cattle Hooves and, Apparently, Sea Lions

49:14 – Some Bats Live to 41, Which Is Longer Than Most Marriages on This Podcast

50:24 – All UK Bats Are Protected By Law, So Please Stop Trying to Eat Them

52:14 – The National Bat Helpline 54:48 – Gary's Joke Corner

57:00 – Butterfly in Blue Jeans

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In this week’s episode of the Podscarf we welcome English stand-up comedian Angela Barnes and Tudor historian Adam Pennington to the studio for an hour of pure, unadulterated high-street nostalgia and medieval gore.Angela reveals how she used to operate as a suitcase-wielding, bootleg DVD library out of her dad's Great Yarmouth sex shop, and find out why the internal gases of King Henry VIII caused him to literally pop inside his own coffin.---00:00 – Gary's Basement Eggs and the Over-Tight Costume Crisis00:19 – Formulating a £30 "Corned Beef Spam Nut" Kit for Nostalgic Pensioners03:30 – Licky the Mascot Gives an Extravagant Face-Licking to a Married Woman05:11 – Turning 50: The 1970s Nuclear Survival Kit Tobacco Tin Lore06:39 – Waking Up to the Casualty Theme Tune 08:12 – Phoning in the "Angst" Tour and Saving a Life with The Archers09:51 – Podcasting for "Young" Pensioners and Failing to Sing Like Jeremy Hardy10:33 – Outsourcing Our Brains to Siri until We Become Sofa Blobs11:43 – Sarah the AI Bot Summons the Medway Posse and Bigs up Chatham13:20 – The Maidstone Anthem: Sex Shops, Golden Boots, and Prison Walls14:40 – High Street Slander15:22 – Checkers Model Shops and the Measurement Machines of the Golden Boot16:28 – The Stoned Anagram and Wes Anderson's Secret Mansion in Basted17:46 – The Caravan-Enthusiast, Naturist, Swinger Sex Shop Dad18:20 – Sharing the Pre-Streaming Suitcase Bootlegs Like the Original Pornhub19:22 – Amateur Dramatics as the Comic Fat Girl and Sudden Bereavement at 6020:21 – Emceeing Jack Skipper’s First Ever Jill Edwards Comedy Showcase21:13 – The Five-Day House of Games Sweep and Facing Social Media Trolls23:08– ADHD Hyperactivity and the Sussex University Synesthesia Study26:41 – The 19-Year-Old Brain Connection Realization and 10 Minutes of Stand-Up Material27:35 – Ad Break: Regency Foods Present Princess Anne Molds and complimentary Cremation29:19 – Adam Pennington Explains the Desperate Male Heir Mania of the Tudors30:39 – Holbein Portraits, Breaking the Papacy, and Banishing Catholics From Succession31:41 – A 400-Pound King Whose Gammy Leg Smelt From Three Rooms Away32:08 – Jude Law Spraying Feces, Pus, and Blood Perfume All Over the Firebrand Set32:48 – Illegitimate Lancastrians, Princes in the Tower, and the Game of Thrones War34:30 – Tenuous Bloodlines: How 78% of Britons Are Descended From William the Conqueror35:22 – Royal Imposter Syndrome and Beheading the Remaining Plantagenets36:19 – Whispering Chromosome Irony Into the Beheaded Ear of Anne Boleyn's Legacy38:00 – Fastidious Manners, Six-Foot-Three Strapping Youth, and Monastic Dissolution39:33 – Hiring a Sword Executioner Before Anne Boleyn Even Went to Trial40:27 – Heavy Petting in the Mid-50s: Catherine Howard and Jane Boleyn's Shared Fate41:25 – Knighting a Sirloin Steak and Hanging Out at Hever Castle42:26 – Ulcerated Leg Pain and Popping Open via Internal Coffin Gases44:08– Sarcophagus Re-Gifting and the 11-Strike Axe Horror of Margaret Pole45:10– QUIZZITY QUIZ: 53:08 – Gary’s Joke Corner54:57 – Butterfly In Blue Jeans"Angela Barnes" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Angela Barnes. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0.

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