I’m rushing out to a gig. Description coming soon. But why not just listen and find out for yourself, for goodness sake.

Folk singer and former medical doctor James Fagan joins us to talk bollocks. Cassette Roulette takes us on a strange journey from the poetry of Arthur Seymour John Tessimond to Pat and Peggy of EastEnders. Our niece inspires a dance hit with her posh pain au chocolat panic, we check out British Gas’s sexually suggestive TV advert, and there are more mystery musical challenges, this time with an incendiary twist.

I’m talking taps in Technological Regression Masquerading As Technological Progression. Join me in the kitchen for another exciting dish-washing special, providing listener Steve with one heck of a high-scoring round of Exclamation Cricket. The return of Cassette Roulette leads us down a rabbit hole involving Ross Noble and an alligator. There’s more vestibule-based chat, more mechanical music challenges, and Ellie turns roving reporter, conducting an exclusive interview for Le Creuset News.

It’s been a while, but this week I recount a harrowing journey that involves coming under attack on a deserted street in Sheffield. I also have an awkward incident in a bakery. To unwind, I take a bath—and fear not, I bring you in with me. There’s an update on my recent dalliance with the Daily Mail, plus more recordings of listeners’ washing machines and more mechanical musical challenges.

This week, Ellie gets a Google Alert for my name, linking to a Daily Mail article in which I am mentioned and quoted. We read you the article, then embark on some investigative journalism of our own to uncover the truth behind the story. And that’s not the only article we read on this week’s podcast: we also have the write-up of the very strange interview I did for a Yorkshire newspaper last week. Plus listeners’ Yorkshire jokes, more mechanical musical challenges and, I suppose at this point it probably goes without saying, more Le Creuset news.

It’s a very literature-heavy podcast this week, as we bring you spontaneous limericks, a poem from my ten-year-old self, and I recount the rather unusual newspaper interview that I did a few days back. Plus, finally, after months of waiting, I’m back in the kitchen for a dishwashing special. More mechanical musical challenges, more Le Creuset news, and the return of our catchily titled feature Technological Regression Masquerading As Technological Progression.

Join me at Folk East Festival along with the other two from The Young’uns and friend of the podcast Mathew Crampton, for a chat with folk singers Emily Portman and Sam Carter, plus Canadian shanty band Pressgang Mutiny. Emily is the victim of an impersonation, Sam takes the law into his own hands, and Pressgang Mutiny inspire a Canadian-based guessing game. Meanwhile, back at home, I am contacted by the dead, there’s a mystery music challenge, and we’re fleetingly joined by Alan Carr.

It’s the final chapter of my fantasy Novella, The Story Of The Brain King. Will the Time Doctor and the Lord Of Darkness agree to stop the destruction of an entire planet? Cassette Roulette showcases one of my invented childhood games. There’s a brief appearance from Dara Ó Briain and Terry Wogan, and we have another strange experience in the Turkish baths.