This week, we help make a listener’s dream come true. We re-open communication with our American best selling crime and thrillers author friend. And Herbal Tea Of The Week is back, which takes a dramatic turn.

This week, we dissect another traditional folk song, as we meet an aristocrat with terrible navigational skills and an adulterous wife. I tell the story of how, at primary school, I was the leader of a criminal girl gang. We journey back in time 4000 years to experience the world’s first stand up comedy show. A gig in a grammar school takes an unexpectedly dramatic turn. And there’s a desultory ditty about dim sum.

This week, more innovative games and challenges for you to get involved in. We discuss imperial measurements, I wonder around a park talking about my genitals, there’s a lengthy dissection of the traditional folk song Matty Groves, and I inadvertently sabotage another comedian’s gig with some unintended slapstick. I'll get around to writing a desff

In November we (The Young’uns) hosted an event in Middlesbrough to celebrate our fortieth birthdays and twenty years gigging together. This week’s podcast features a little interview we did with one of our famous fans, Felicity Finch, who plays Ruth in BBC Radio 4’s The Archers. There’s also an appearance from North East folk band The Unthanks, who treat us to a very surprising performance, giving us an exclusive sneak preview of their exciting new album.

This week we meet The Jesus Geezers, a cockney gospel band. Ellie has a weird dream about me and Billy Bragg. I unearth my childhood diaries. And I recount my unusual experience with an A-list celebrity in a cupboard.

Ellie and I return with semi-regular feature spammer time. There’s the clockwork-regular contribution from star pupil Olivia. Tales of door-based debacles and rude awakenings involving guns, explosions, sirens, and a duck. Plus paranormal experiences involving kids and a cat. I narrowly avoid being punched, and I inadvertently cause chaos in a swimming pool and get myself into hot water with some peeved parents. And of course it’s the reveal of our boundary-pushing mystery sound contest.

This week, I have an odd experience at a urinal. I blind a computer programmer. Ellie has a medical mishap. There’s a poem from the perspective of a piece of chewing gum. We take a walk in the park where we chat about my meeting with Jason Donovan, plus there’s more goose news, and we meet an arse-scratching squirrel; you’ll have to listen to discover if the squirrel is scratching its own arse, or the backside of me or Ellie. We’ve been looking after our ten-year-old nephew this weekend and it’s certainly been eventful. We have our first listener complaint and I enlist the services of Frank Skinner to defend my honour. Our street becomes embroiled in a bin-based drama. Plus, in yet another example of paradigm shifting podcasting, there’s a mystery sound competition. And more chat about Vegetables, Biscuits, Birds And Le Creuset.

Chapters:

(00:00:00) Coming Up, Plus Some Toilet Humour

(00:01:58) The Bastard Thing’s Crashed!

(00:20:48) William The Conqueror And The NHS Phone Service

(00:30:51) From Booing To Chewing

(00:34:57) Featuring Jason Donovan, Some Goose News, And An Arse-scratching Squirrel

(00:50:07) Listener Complaint

(01:04:52) Weird Woman At Gig

(01:09:01) Mystery Sound Competition And Some Street Drama

(01:23:18) More Chat About Vegetables, Biscuits, Birds And Le Creuset

Ellie’s fame is on the rise, and she receives a potential new career opportunity. I am surprised to find myself doing a stand up gig in a sex club, which was a very weird experience indeed. This week’s games involve guessing vegetables, identifying birds, and more biscuit-based fun. Ellie has an encounter with another blind man. A trip to the barbers gets unexpectedly political and also sexual. I’ve got some gossip involving Jasper Carrott and Iron Maiden, and there’s another surprise song in the park.

(00:00:00) - The Intro Bit

(00:02:37) - Ellie’s Fifteen Seconds Of Fame

(00:09:43) - I Find Myself Performing In A Sex Club

(00:26:22) - Guess The Vegetable

(00:31:06) - Ellie’s Tram Drama

(00:33:33) - Brazen Barber Banter

(00:54:40) - Jasper Carrott, Iron Maiden, Le Creuset And Sonic The Hedgehog

(01:12:42) - Professional Window Doodler