This week, West End performer Jaime Tait joins me for part one of a two-part conversation. Jaime and I went to drama school together when we were just 21 and so I thought I knew him. This conversation opened up a whole new side to jaime that I had never seen and I"m truly grateful for this honesty and wisdom.

We go back to growing up in Birmingham as one of seven, what was expected of him as a Black boy, and the mindset that has kept him on stage for ten years and counting. It's a conversation about energy, self-belief, and feeling like you always have more to prove.

A quick note: the first 10 minutes or so are audio only because of a camera problem. The video comes in at about 12 minutes.

Follow Jaime on Instagram at @jaaytait

Follow along on TikTok and Instagram at @christopherallenofficial, and follow on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts.

New episodes every Wednesday. Part two is out next Wednesday ✨

References mentioned in this episode:

- Urdang, now part of City St George's, University of London (where Jaime and I trained): https://www.citystgeorges.ac.uk/about/schools/communication-creativity/performing-arts

- Legally Blonde The Musical, UK and Ireland tour (Jaime's current show): https://www.atgtickets.com/shows/legally-blonde/

CONTENT WARNINGS

- RACISM AND RACIST LANGUAGE

- HOMOPHOBIA

- A PARENT'S REACTION TO COMING OUT

- AN UNSETTLED HOME LIFE IN CHILDHOOD

- STRONG LANGUAGE

CHAPTERS

- 00:00 Intro

- 01:29 Knowing someone at 21, and ten years in the West End

- 03:15 Growing up in Birmingham as one of seven: what was expected

- 04:53 Becoming the people pleaser, and the empath in the middle

- 07:30 Knowing he was gay, and using comedy to change the subject

- 10:30 Signs, labels and rules: "we're all very free beings"

- 12:24 Keeping the love for performing, and why energy gets you hired

- 16:58 Telling his dad he was gay the day before moving to London

- 20:00 Dancing "like a boy" at Urdang, and embracing every side of himself

- 24:12 More to prove: being Black and gay in the cast

- 25:27 Minority stress, intention, and whether to correct people

- 31:51 The most powerful skill: staying in a good mood

- 32:40 Meeting James, self-belief and audition rituals

- 39:17 "I know I'm going to be a lead role"

Part two of my conversation with talent agent Yan Javeri. We pick up in Switzerland and follow him through being outed to his family, a move to LA that arrived alongside profound loss, and building his own company from nothing. It's a story about grief, defiance, and what he'd say to the boy with the crocodile briefcase now.

Follow Yan on Instagram at @yancameronj.

Follow along on TikTok and Instagram at @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday.

References mentioned in this episode:

- The Visionaries, the talent agency Yan founded: https://www.thevisionariesagency.com/ @thevisionariesagency

CONTENT WARNINGS

- BEING OUTED WITHOUT CONSENT

- FAMILY ESTRANGEMENT

- A PARENT'S AGGRESSIVE REACTION (IMPLIED THREAT, NOT ACTED ON)

- TERMINAL ILLNESS AND THE SUDDEN DEATH OF A PARENT (TWICE)

- GRIEF

CHAPTERS

00:00 Intro

01:24 Finding freedom in Switzerland

02:52 Outed to his family

07:20 What being outed cost him

11:47 Leaving Switzerland for Australia and London

14:04 Becoming a talent agent by accident

17:54 Social media and the move to LA

20:17 Losing his father weeks after landing

23:29 When grief finally catches up

25:31 Losing his mother, then his job

28:15 No job, no visa, starting anyway

31:32 Nine years single

37:09 Advice for your thirties

This week, talent agent Yan Javeri joins me for part one of a two-part conversation. We go back to a childhood built on practicality rather than explanation, being sent to boarding school at eight while his brother stayed home, and the years he spent quietly studying other people to work out how to belong. It's a story about camouflage, and what it costs to build a version of yourself just to fit in.

Follow Yan on Instagram at @yancameronj.

Follow along on TikTok and Instagram at @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday.

References mentioned in this episode:

- University of Westminster, Harrow campus (formerly Harrow School of Art, where Yan studied): https://arts.westminster.ac.uk/history

CONTENT WARNINGS

- FAMILY ESTRANGEMENT

- BOARDING SCHOOL SEPARATION AT A YOUNG AGE

- BULLYING

- AN EMOTIONALLY UNHEALTHY EARLY RELATIONSHIP

CHAPTERS

00:00 Intro

03:08 Four pages of prep, and a year of therapy

07:32 Always structured: mapping things out to feel in control

08:24 A childhood of sensory overload and no explanations

09:38 Sent to boarding school at eight, while his brother stayed home

14:40 Negotiating his way back to state school

15:38 The crocodile briefcase: culture shock in Essex

19:59 Studying the popular kids, and building a version of himself

23:34 Art school, his first boyfriend, and getting in by fibbing

25:13 Fearless at Harrow: cleaning toilets at 4am for his freedom

31:48 An invitation to Geneva

This week Christopher sits down with Wales vice-captain and Crystal Palace midfielder Hayley Ladd - 111 caps for her country, a freshly completed MBA, and newly married to her university sweetheart. They talk about the version of herself Hayley tried to force at university (pink cardigan and all), meeting her now-wife on the football pitch, and what representation looked like growing up in a town not far from London where she still couldn't see anyone like herself.

Follow Standing Out on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday.

References mentioned in this episode:

• Crystal Palace Women — https://www.cpfc.co.uk/palace-women/
• Wales Women's national team (FAW) — https://faw.cymru/
• Loughborough University — https://www.lboro.ac.uk/
• Everton Women — https://www.evertonfc.com/women/
• Manchester United Women — https://www.manutd.com/en/manchester-united-women
• Arsenal Women — https://www.arsenal.com/women
• Women's Super League — https://www.wslfootball.com/
• Hayley Ladd on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/hayleyladd/

In Part Two of this two-part conversation, Eugene Lynch continues his story — what happened after his HIV diagnosis, how shame and addiction quietly took hold, and the winding road back to honesty, healing, and a full circle career at the charity that once saved him.

Follow Standing Out on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday.

References mentioned in this episode:

- Terrence Higgins Trust — https://tht.org.uk/

- Terrence Higgins Trust on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/thtorguk/

- Donate to Terrence Higgins Trust — https://donate.tht.org.uk/

- Terrence Higgins Trust's Positive Voices speaker programme — https://tht.org.uk/about-us/community-projects/hiv-training-and-speakers

THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:

- HIV DIAGNOSIS

- DRUG AND ALCOHOL ADDICTION

- MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES, INCLUDING ANXIETY AND PANIC ATTACKS

- SEXUAL ASSAULT (DISCLOSED IN DETAIL)

- REHAB AND ADDICTION TREATMENT

Listener discretion advised.

Chapters:

• 00:02:15 Telling Tim: the day of his HIV diagnosis
• 00:04:17 Guilt, shame, and hiding drug use from Tim
• 00:05:03 The medication side effect that went unnoticed for two years
• 00:07:48 The story Eugene told Tim about how he got HIV
• 00:09:12 Hitting rock bottom in 2018
• 00:11:33 Reaching out to Terrence Higgins Trust for support
• 00:15:21 A psychiatrist recommends rehab
• 00:16:21 Wrestling with the "addict" label as a gay man
• 00:19:16 Step One: writing down everything and reading it aloud
• 00:20:48 The full story he'd never told anyone, and a therapist's reframe
• 00:29:59 Telling Tim the truth years later, and a healing moment
• 00:34:20 Full circle: from service user to THT director, plus his advice and how to support the charity

This week Christopher sits down with Eugene (@eugenelynch83) - a Dublin-born corporate professional turned TikTok HIV-awareness advocate followed by thousands. In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, Eugene traces the through-line from a two-bedroom house with no central heating in 1980s Dublin, through school years spent quietly hiding who he was, to meeting the love of his life at 4am in a Vauxhall nightclub - and the diagnosis that changed everything. This episode is only part 1, part 2 will follow next Wednesday.

Follow Christopher on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and follow Eugene on TikTok @eugenelynch83 and Instagram @eugenelynch.

Subscribe wherever you listen so you don't miss Part 2 - new episodes every Wednesday.

References mentioned in this episode:

• Terrence Higgins Trust (HIV support and information) — https://tht.org.uk/
• NHS: Shingles, causes and who's at risk — https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/infections-and-poisoning/shingles
• Fire, Vauxhall (nightclub) — https://thatsup.co.uk/london/nightclub/fire-london/
• The Netherlands becomes the first country to legalise same-sex marriage, 2001 — https://spectrumlocalnews.com/ap-top-news/2021/04/01/the-dutch-went-first-in-2001-who-has-same-sex-marriage-now

CONTENT WARNINGS FOR THIS EPISODE:

• HIV DIAGNOSIS
• DRUG USE
• ALCOHOL USE
• MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES
• HOMOPHOBIA / BULLYING

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 Welcome & meeting Eugene
• 00:01:55 Born in Dublin, 1983: growing up working-class
• 00:04:00 A quiet inferiority complex, and feeling "other" at school
• 00:07:48 His aunt, and the wedding in Amsterdam she couldn't attend
• 00:11:06 Secondary school: freedom, friendship, and the class "moment of realisation"
• 00:16:46 University: becoming an atheist and deciding to "just be"
• 00:19:31 2007: meeting the love of his life at 4am in Fire, Vauxhall
• 00:20:12 A wild period, toxic relationships, and trying drugs for the first time
• 00:24:30 Why he talks about HIV on TikTok
• 00:26:04 Getting ill: shingles, diagnosis, and telling Tim

Jonathan Blake was one of the first people in the UK diagnosed with HIV, back in 1982 — and one of the real-life figures the film Pride is based on. In this episode, he joins Christopher to talk about coming out, surviving an HIV diagnosis he was never expected to outlive, decades of activism, and what it means to build an authentic life against the odds.

Follow along on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts — new episodes every Wednesday.

References mentioned in this episode:

• Terrence Higgins Trust — https://tht.org.uk/
• Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM) — https://lgsm.org/

• It's a Sin (Channel 4) — https://www.channel4.com/programmes/its-a-sin/

• The Fitzrovia Chapel — https://www.fitzroviachapel.org/

• AIDS Advert - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iroty5zwOVw

CONTENT WARNING — THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES:

- SUICIDE ATTEMPT

- HIV/AIDS DIAGNOSIS AND TERMINAL PROGNOSIS

- DEATH AND GRIEF

- FAMILY REJECTION

- RECREATIONAL DRUG USE

Chapters:

- 00:01:38 Meet Jonathan Blake: Actor, Activist & Real-Life Pride Character

- 00:05:30 Young Jonathan: Growing Up Queer in 1950s Birmingham

- 00:08:18 Discovering Theatre & Deciding to Become an Actor

- 00:12:06 Coming Out to His Family at 21

- 00:16:29 Close Calls Before Coming Out

- 00:20:09 Choosing to Rejoin the World After an HIV Diagnosis

- 00:22:16 The Symptoms: "I Was Walking Like a Gorilla"

- 00:26:30 Getting Tested at the Clinic

- 00:27:06 The Diagnosis: "You Have Three to Six Months to Live"

- 00:29:25 Terrence Higgins & the Roots of the Terrence Higgins Trust

- 00:33:02 Thatcher's Government, Norman Fowler & the Fight for HIV Funding

- 00:35:08 How HIV Changed Nursing Care Forever

- 00:36:24 "We Are Still Here," It's a Sin & the HIV/COVID Parallel

- 00:40:11 A Suicide Attempt & the Turning Point

- 00:41:17 Finding CND & the Ad in Capital Gay

- 00:42:47 Meeting Nigel at the Demonstration

- 00:43:46 The Greenham Common Human Chain

- 00:45:13 Moving Into a Brixton Squat With Nigel

- 00:47:15 "Displacement Activity" & Living With a Terminal Diagnosis

- 00:48:14 Princess Diana, the Middlesex Hospital & the Fitzrovia Chapel

- 00:49:55 "How Did You Survive It?"

- 00:51:28 Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners: The Real Story Behind Pride

- 00:54:41 39 Years With Nigel: Love, Friendship & Being "Good Mates"

- 00:55:21 What Does Authentic Queer Life Look Like at 76?

- 00:56:05 Growing Older as a Queer Person & the Need for Safe Spaces

- 00:58:15 Jonathan's Advice to Queer People in Their 20s and 30s

- 00:59:16 Closing Thoughts

Welcome to the very first episode of Standing Out. Before diving into guest conversations, host Christopher takes a moment to explain the theory and personal story behind the show — why it exists, why "queer" is the word he's chosen to reclaim, and the psychology that's shaped his own experience of otherness.

Drawing on minority stress theory (developed by psychologist Ilan Meyer) and a concept Christopher calls "queer silo safety," this episode unpacks why queer people are statistically more likely to feel lonely, where that loneliness actually comes from, and what it took to move from feeling broken to building something for the community instead.

Christopher also shares the story of meeting Richard and Graham — an older gay couple whose relationship reshaped how he thinks about queer visibility across generations — and lays out the four questions that will guide every future guest conversation on this show.

Follow along on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts — it's free, and it genuinely helps this reach more people who need it.

Chapters:
00:00 Welcome to Standing Out
01:47 Who This Podcast Is For
02:42 My Favourite Podcasts & Reclaiming the Word "Queer"
03:55 Where the Idea for Standing Out Came From
07:52 The Loneliness Statistics: Why Queer People Struggle More
09:10 Meeting Richard & Graham: Queer Elders
11:39 Queer Silo Safety, Explained
13:00 Minority Stress, Explained (Ilan Meyer)
14:04 How Standing Out Was Born
14:40 What I Ask Every Guest (4 Questions)
15:24 Meet Your Host & First Guest: Jonathan Blake