Episodes

  • ‘Drop the Carmela Soprano act, Rosser,’ Ronan goes when I ask him if Sorcha’s ring was stolen

    ‘Drop the Carmela Soprano act, Rosser,’ Ronan goes when I ask him if Sorcha’s ring was stolen
    Oct 16 2026
    Ronan is smoking one of his famous rollies in the doorway of the Museum of the Irish Gangster when he sees me coming. “Rosser!” he goes. “The fook are you doing on Capel Street dressed like that? Did you take a wrong turden cubbing ourra Chapter One again?”

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    6 mins
  • Sorcha’s old dear singing sounds like a fox with its head trapped in a gate

    Sorcha’s old dear singing sounds like a fox with its head trapped in a gate
    Oct 9 2026
    It’s every parent’s worst nightmare. Sorcha goes, “You’re being ridiculous, Ross.” I’m there, “Oh, I’m being ridiculous, am I? My son gives up rugby to play the port of Sam Cormichael in Mamma Mia! and I’m the one being ridiculous!”

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    6 mins
  • ‘So Westlife, huh? We’re all big fans in our gaff, aren’t we, Honor?’

    ‘So Westlife, huh? We’re all big fans in our gaff, aren’t we, Honor?’
    Oct 2 2026
    I’m like, “Westlife?” And I say it like that as well. I’m there, “Why are you going to see Westlife? You always said–” Honor goes, “No, I didn’t. I actually like Westlife?” and she’s telling me to – yeah, no – shut the fock up with her eyes.

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    6 mins
  • ‘We’ve been trying to break them up, haven’t we? A year or two in the clink – he won’t wait for her’

    ‘We’ve been trying to break them up, haven’t we? A year or two in the clink – he won’t wait for her’
    Sep 25 2026
    The old man tells Hennessy that he has every faith in him. Hennessy’s like, “Wait a minute, what?” Yeah, no, we’re sitting in the District Court in Bray, waiting for Bernie’s case to be called.

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    7 mins
  • Four Feds step into the kitchen. One of them is like, ‘Well, Bernie?’

    Four Feds step into the kitchen. One of them is like, ‘Well, Bernie?’
    Sep 19 2026
    “So, anyway, I tee’d off,” the old man goes, loving the sound of his own voice, “and of course I managed to slice the bloody-well ball and, well, naturally enough, it ended up in the lake!”

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    7 mins
  • ‘I did the deed with the girlfriend of a very good friend and it’s been bothering my conscience lately’

    ‘I did the deed with the girlfriend of a very good friend and it’s been bothering my conscience lately’
    Sep 11 2026
    JP looks well – even though I don’t know what to call him any more? I’m like, “So how are things – I don’t know – Father?” He actually laughs at that? He’s there, “Ross, you don’t have to call me Father.” I’m like, “What do I call you then?” because it’s my first time seeing the dude since he finished his studies to become an actual priest.

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    6 mins
  • At the end of the summer, just like the rest of you, I’m sick of the sight of my children

    At the end of the summer, just like the rest of you, I’m sick of the sight of my children
    Sep 4 2026
    I think I’m on the record as saying that being a parent is one of those things that I just happen to be very, very good at without having to put any actual effort into it. Even allowing for that, at the end of a long, hot summer, just like the rest of you, I’m absolutely sick of the sight of my children and I’m glad they’re now someone else’s problem until the end of October.

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    7 mins
  • ‘Your father’s playing golf in Doonbeg,’ Hennessy goes. ‘While the cat’s away, the mice will fornicate’

    ‘Your father’s playing golf in Doonbeg,’ Hennessy goes. ‘While the cat’s away, the mice will fornicate’
    Sep 2 2026
    Hennessy is grinning like a dog trying to pass a laundry ball through its urinary tract. Yeah, no, for five days now, me and Bernie from Bray of all places have been – in fairness – texting each other, and the dude is reading through the exchanges, some of which are pretty, it might be a word, explicit?

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    7 mins