I hear this all the time: “Matthew, they’re wonderful but they won’t let me in. The conversations stay shallow. They deflect when things get real. And no matter how safe I try to make it, they just . . . won’t go there.” Sound familiar?

Here’s the thing: I’ve been on both sides of this. I’ve been the man who shut down, and I’ve been lucky enough to experience the moment that cracked me open. This episode is personal. I’m telling you two stories: one where vulnerability went horribly wrong, and one where it literally led to my marriage. If you want to understand what’s really happening when someone won’t open up—and what to do about it—you can’t miss this.

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We often talk about how the right partner will elevate your best and soothe your worst. But what if you secretly feel like your best isn’t good enough . . . or that your worst will be “too much“ for someone? When we carry that fear, we tend to overcorrect. We try to impress. We hide parts of ourselves. We delay vulnerability. And in doing so, we block the very connection we want.

In this episode, Matthew shares how to stop looking at yourself through a lens of self-judgment and self-loathing, and instead develop real self-compassion and self-empowerment. You’ll learn how to reveal vulnerability in a healthy, attractive way, build core confidence, and create relationships rooted in acceptance rather than fear.

If you’ve ever worried that someone wouldn’t love the “real“ you, this episode will change the way you see yourself.

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►► Looking for love, clarity, or a fresh perspective? Matthew’s weekly newsletter dives into insights that transform not just your relationships, but your entire life. Sign up for free at TheThreeRelationships.com

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Dating can burn you out . . . especially when you’ve been rejected, ghosted, or stuck in that exhausting loop where nothing ever turns into something real. In Part 2 of my conversation with clinical psychologist Guy Winch, we get into how to stop showing up in “don’t mess this up!” mode, how to shift from avoiding loss to actually going for connection, and how to date in a way that protects your energy.

We also tackle modern dating burnout—why it turns into cynicism, how to spot the patterns keeping you stuck, the “coffee date” debate, the “burned haystack” method, and real red flags vs. over-filtering.

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