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Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute

By: Luke Gordon with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute
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Beyond the Facade explores authenticity, healing, and recovery from betrayal trauma, sexual addiction, and infidelity. Host Luke Gordon (men's program director at Choose Recovery Services and founder of Blueprint Institute) and his guests share tools for addiction recovery, relationship repair, and emotional healing. Learn to rebuild trust, live with integrity, and create authentic connections as you heal from pain and go Beyond the Facade.Luke Gordon with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • 105: Are You a Validation Junkie? How Approval Addiction Destroys Authenticity

    105: Are You a Validation Junkie? How Approval Addiction Destroys Authenticity
    Jul 23 2026
    Are you constantly looking for approval from other people?This week Luke Gordon and guest Ryan Collins explore what it means to become a validation junkie—someone whose identity depends on the opinions, approval, and acceptance of others.Together they discuss:Why validation feels addictiveHow people pleasing destroys authenticityThe connection between shame and approval seekingWhy marriage doesn't fix unhealthy validation patternsChapters03:45 Integrity - Steele vs Noodle05:50 Ryan on Being Called Out09:08 Validation as a Drug14:22 Impact on Marriage20:48 Fear of Disappointing Others23:37 Validation vs Integrity27:29 Owning the Cost30:42 Building Integrity SkillsBeyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute.We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of. Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed.FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity. 6-Week Group: Designed for those moving through the impact of betrayal trauma and wanting a grounded, compassionate space to rebuild trust in themselves. Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises.Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive webinar.Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.comLearn more about Blueprint Institute’s residential immersion program at https://blueprint-institute.com
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    40 mins
  • 104: Recovery Doesn't Fail at Relapse--It Fails Long Before That

    104: Recovery Doesn't Fail at Relapse--It Fails Long Before That
    Jul 16 2026
    Recovery isn't won in the moment you resist temptation—it begins long before the urge ever appears.This week Luke Gordon explores why relapse is rarely an isolated event. Instead, acting outside your values is often the final step in a much longer emotional cycle involving stress, loneliness, shame, insecurity, and unresolved discomfort.You'll learn why your brain isn't trying to ruin your life—it is trying to solve emotional pain using familiar patterns. More importantly, you'll discover how learning to tolerate discomfort instead of escaping it becomes the foundation of lasting recovery.Chapters01:49 Relapse Starts Earlier03:01 Familiar Over Healthy04:33 Relief vs Healing06:14 Tolerating Discomfort08:05 Flood Irrigation Metaphor10:31 Tools for Regulation12:30 Track Emotions, Not BehaviorsRegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeConnect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    17 mins
  • 103: Why Knowing Better Doesn't Always Mean Doing Better

    103: Why Knowing Better Doesn't Always Mean Doing Better
    Jul 2 2026
    Many people spend years reading books, listening to podcasts, attending therapy, and understanding addiction. Yet they still feel stuck.This week Luke and Alana explain why information alone never creates transformation—and what actually does.You'll learn:Why insight feels good but doesn’t change behaviorThe uncomfortable “growth zone”How emotional awareness rewires recoveryWhy habits matter more than motivationHow integration creates lasting healingChapters01:35 The Recovery Expert Trap02:25 Swimming Lessons05:37 Insight vs Practice07:24 Repetition11:15 Integration15:13 Systems18:46 Compassion As You Try to ChangeRegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your LifeQuestions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to podcast@chooserecoveryservices.com. Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects.Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time.Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships.Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship.Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment.Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses.Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy.Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out.Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.
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    24 mins
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