What is my purpose? Why am I here? Why should I live? At the mercy of depression for years and lacking the answers to these important questions, travel connoisseur Kevin Hodgon tried to take his own life and failed—twice. Perhaps life had more to offer him than he previously thought.

In a desperate attempt to rid himself of these dangerous suicidal thoughts, Kevin leaves everything behind to embark on a healing journey through various parts of North and South America. Inspired by strangers’ support in his viral social media post shining a light on suicide and depression, he finds renewed vigor to embrace his former passion and learn to love himself—flaws and all.

In this book, Kevin details how he overcame his adversities and shares how to practice self-love, live in the moment, and defeat your inner demons.

Statistics on suicide are staggering. The World Health Organization estimates every 40 seconds, someone will die by suicide, that’s 800,000 a year. And for each person’s success, another will attempt suicide. And why? Because we can’t talk about our mental health, as we will be outcasted from friends and family.

Suicide is a subject that has too much stigma attached—more so when it comes to men’s mental health. Shouldn’t we be able to speak about our mental health?

Suicidal thoughts are no joke, nor are any other mental health issues for that matter. It’s time people learn what others might be going through. It’s time people learn to accept mental health.

In this book, I don’t tiptop around depression and suicide. I lay everything bare; I speak the raw truth of what happened behind my closed doors. I explain what was going through my mind as I made each attempt. I’m not afraid of speaking out. No one should be.

Suicide was my drug. I would speak about suicide, read about suicide, research about suicide, dream about suicide, and finally attempt suicide. I was fixated with death and taking my own life.

If you are contemplating ending your life, I hope my journey can show you that things do get better. My book has a steady balance, some chapters reflect on my advice and philosophy around depression and suicide, and other chapters focus on my recovery, on my journey, and on my trips.