The Witch's Vacuum Cleaner

Dragons have invaded Crumbling Castle, and all of King Arthur’s knights are either on holiday or visiting their grannies. It’s a disaster! Luckily, there’s a spare suit of armour and a very small boy called Ralph who’s willing to fill it. Together with Fortnight the Friday knight and Fossfiddle the wizard, Ralph sets out to defeat the fearsome fire-breathers. But there's a teeny weeny surprise in store.

Random House presents the audiobook edition of Father Christmas's Fake Beard by Terry Pratchett, read by Julian Rhind-Tutt. Have you ever wanted Christmas to be different? Turkey and carols, presents and crackers - they all start to feel a bit...samey. How about a huge exploding mince pie, a pet abominable snowman, or a very helpful partridge in a pear tree? What if Father Christmas went to work at a zoo, or caused chaos in a toy store, or was even arrested for burglary!

As the mighty alien fleet from the very latest computer game thunders across the computer screen, Johnny prepares to blow them into the usual million pieces. And they send him a message: We surrender. They're not supposed to do that! They're supposed to die. And computer joysticks don't have 'Don't Fire' buttons. But it's only a game... isn't it?

In the beginning, there was nothing but endless flatness. Then came the Carpet.... That's the old story everyone knows and loves (even if they don't really believe it). But now the Carpet is home to many different tribes and peoples, and there's a new story in the making: the story of Fray, sweeping a trail of destruction across the Carpet. The story of power-hungry mouls - and of two Munrung brothers, who set out on an adventure to end all adventures when their village is flattened.

Somewhere in a place so far up that there is no down, a ship is waiting to take the nomes home, back to wherever they came from. And one nome, Masklin, knows that they've got to try and contact the ship.

To the thousands of tiny nomes who live under the floorboards of a large department store, there is no outside. Things like day and night, sun and rain are just daft old legends. Then a devastating piece of news shatters their existence: the Store, their whole world, is to be demolished.

A bright new dawn is just around the corner for thousands of tiny nomes when they move into the ruined buildings of an abandoned quarry. Or is it?

Johnny Maxwell and his friends have to do something when they find Mrs Tachyon, the local bag lady, semi-conscious in an alley...as long as it's not the kiss of life. But there's more to Mrs Tachyon than a squeaky trolley and a bunch of dubious black bags. Somehow she holds the key to different times, different ears: including the Blackbury Blitz in 1941. Suddenly, now isn't the safe place Johnny once thought it was as he finds himself caught up more and more with then.

Authorised by Mr Lipwig of the Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Hygienic Railway himself, Mrs Georgina Bradshaw’s invaluable guide to the destinations and diversions of the railway deserves a place in the luggage of any traveller, or indeed armchair traveller, upon the Disc.

The Colour of Magic, the first novel in Terry Pratchett's wildly imaginative Discworld series, takes the listener on a remarkable journey. The magical planet of Discworld is supported by four massive elephants who stand on the back of the Great A'Tuin, a giant turtle swimming slowly through the mysterious interstellar gulf. An eccentric expedition sets out to explore the planet, encountering dragons who only exist if you believe in them, and, of course, "The Edge" of the planet.

Finding himself alone on a desert island when everything and everyone he knows and loved has been washed away in a huge storm, Mau is the last surviving member of his nation. He's also completely alone - or so he thinks until he finds the ghost girl. She has no toes, wears strange lacy trousers like the grandfather bird and gives him a stick which can make fire. Daphne, sole survivor of the wreck of the Sweet Judy, almost immediately regrets trying to shoot the native boy.

The brilliant follow-up to David Walliams' best seller The World's Worst Children! Ten more stories about a brand-new gang of hilariously horrible kids from everyone's favourite children's author. If you thought you had heard about the world's worst children already, you're in for a rather nasty shock. The beastly boys and gruesome girls in this book are even ruder, even more disgusting and WORSE than you could ever imagine!

The Company builds planets. Kin Arad is a high-ranking official of the Company. After 21 decades of living, and with the help of memory surgery, she is at the top of her profession. Discovering two of her employees have placed a fossilised plesiosaur in the wrong stratum, not to mention the fact it is holding a placard that reads "End Nuclear Testing Now", doesn't dismay the woman who built a mountain range in the shape of her initials during her own high-spirited youth.

Dodger is a tosher – a sewer scavenger living in the squalor of Dickensian London. Everyone who is nobody knows Dodger. Anyone who is anybody doesn’t.But when he rescues a young girl from a beating, suddenly everybody wants to know him.And Dodger’s tale of skulduggery, dark plans and even darker deeds begins.

When Joe tells a local news reporter exactly what he would do if he were leader of the country, the video goes viral, and Joe's speech becomes famous all over the world! Before long people are calling for the current leader to resign and give someone else a go...and that's how an ordinary boy like Joe ends up with the most extraordinary job. Now the fun can really start!