The Warlizard Chronicles cover art

The Warlizard Chronicles

Adventures with Vodka, Women, & War

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The Warlizard Chronicles

By: Warlizard
Narrated by: Jeff Machado
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About this listen

My new fiancée Betty and I were sitting on the couch watching the Westminster Kennel Club dog show, when she looked over at me and casually said, "My first orgasm came from a dog."

As I sat there stunned, trying to control my reactions and collect myself, I had two immediate thoughts:

1. Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this was the worst thing she'd ever told me.

About the audiobook:

In The Warlizard Chronicles, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his "dog-gasmic" ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned.

©2011 Warlizard (P)2015 Warlizard
All stars
Most relevant
Narrator was great, really fits the character. An incredible collection of stories from and incredible human being. its incredibley well written
A must buy. well worth the price.
If you're reading this just get it.

Just simply incredible

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